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The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and…
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The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love (edition 2005)

by bell hooks

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
7631029,118 (4.26)1
I enjoyed this book. hooks' almost gentle and kind way of looking at how the current social ambience (she uses the term patriarchy; I'm not a fan of the word as it is frequently misused - not so the case here, though) hurts boys and men. She shows the damage that current gender roles have on both men and women. My main reason for enoying this book is that it's one of the only ones I've read that show the damage society does to men and not just women. ( )
  Aula | Jul 24, 2012 |
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Showing 9 of 9
I wish I read this earlier. There are so many gems. I understand so much more about my own life and relationships after reading this. I think I need to read this again! ( )
  AAPremlall | Jul 23, 2023 |
bell hooks' unflinching-yet-loving elucidation of patriarchy's ubiquitous mechanism delivers a warm blanket and an inescapable choice to a society of naked emperors: account for and combat patriarchy's proliferation, or commit agonizing suicide. ( )
  quavmo | Jun 26, 2022 |
This book is important for us all to read regardless of gender. In it, Hooks describes not only the pain of many men in America but also the pain reflected in American culture. The glorification of the dominate has skewed our whole outlook as a country. This is the difference between defense and "Preemptive war." Domination isn't on the path to anywhere worth going. I hope that we will stop and realize the pain that we currently insist on pushing away. That every one of us is culpable for the damage we have done through war, neglect, irresponsible support (weapon sales)and outright badness. We must accept our culpability in the planet-wide destruction of a life-giving world. We must all accept culpability for the cry of boys and men who were lied to about what life actually is. We must teach that love equals life. Love makes the products of pain drain away both literally and figuratively. Love creates both walls and bridges. We all are damaged and we all have damaged but that can be changed with a push for openness and by denying any solution that destroys in any way.
I found the answer to my questions about my marriage and my confused attempt to raise my sons to be men who can give and receive love. I now feel like I have a road to travel regardless its signs of travelers. By acknowledging my sons' pain and by supporting their ability to love themselves and others, I can see a future where my sons will be able to love others and me. ( )
  Smsw | Oct 20, 2020 |
Hooks artfully and courageously challenges paradigms of masculinity because of her love for men. I appreciate her careful deconstruction of the toxic effect of the dominating structures of patriarchy and her clarion call for men to mourn and grieve their role as violent oppressors and grow into living into a love that nurtures and fosters vulnerability.
  b.masonjudy | Apr 3, 2020 |
Phew. This book is hard to rate. It is my first serious foray into feminist literature, so I don't really know on which basis to rate it.

I guess the main thing I can say about it is that it has gotten me to think on a number of issues, and to recognize for the first time what a boon my parents parenting style has been to me. So, I guess for that alone, I'll go with five stars. ( )
  malexmave | Oct 3, 2019 |
This book was recommended by a professor who said that one of the biggest issues facing men in our society is that they have lost their ability to love themselves and in turn others, and suggested this book.

As someone who has a young son, I want him to feel like he can love how he wants, and be emotionally sensitive. When the time is right, he will get this book from me. If only I had received it earlier. ( )
  Adam.Anderson | Dec 9, 2016 |
Whenever you read a book for school there is always the possibility of just skimming, not quite absorbing everything but taking away just enough to use in class discussion. Unfortunately I started reading this book in that mode, but the great thing about bell hooks is that she makes her writing so accessible that the next moment you're turning pages at lightning-speed. Your thoughts expand inside your head, augmented by emotion, until you feel as if the potential of her ideas and the utter truth of her words is more than you can bear. By book's end you're exhilarated with hope. THE WILL TO CHANGE is another great gift from a wonderful feminist. ( )
  marthaearly | Jun 6, 2014 |
I enjoyed this book. hooks' almost gentle and kind way of looking at how the current social ambience (she uses the term patriarchy; I'm not a fan of the word as it is frequently misused - not so the case here, though) hurts boys and men. She shows the damage that current gender roles have on both men and women. My main reason for enoying this book is that it's one of the only ones I've read that show the damage society does to men and not just women. ( )
  Aula | Jul 24, 2012 |
From Publishers Weekly
A companion to We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity, hooks's 23rd book for adults is a fierce, quirky denunciation of patriarchy and a clarion call to the uncommitted to align themselves with visionary radical feminism. In 12 slim chapters, hooks examines the stages of a man's life, from babyhood through boyhood to the teenage years into manhood. She finds patriarchy plays a role in most socio-sexual ills, as boys and men seek alienating sex as a substitute for the love that often seems, because of demands on families that destroy them or keep them from forming, unavailable to men: "Sex, then, becomes for most men a way of self-solacing. It is not about connecting to someone else but rather releasing their own pain." The men who can lead us out of patriarchal chains are "men of color from poor countries, men who live in exile, men who have been victimized by imperialist male violence"-the Dalai Lama for example. While she calls Will Smith films such as Men in Black and Independence Day tools of the patriarchy, hooks saves her big guns for J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books, scornfully exposing them as foisted on us by "rich white American men" and no more than updated version of the British schoolboy books that fueled the fantasies of Victoria's empire. A better book to buy for children, she suggests, might be her own recent Be Bop Buzz. Hooks is always readable, but her takes on mass media here have a retro ring to them.
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  CollegeReading | Sep 5, 2008 |
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