JIMMY TRIGGER RETURNS FROM WAR
I am my mammy's only son,

I speak my language with my tongue,
I sleep up and sleep down hill,

I never work and I never will.

Hello, Mose, what makes you so happy today? Why today Jimmy Trigger returns home from the war. Is that the same Jimmy who went away two years ago with those soldiers?

The same Jimmy Trigger and the fife and drum corps have gone down to the depot to escort him up here. Here they come now.

Halt!

Hello, Jimmy, don't you recognize me?
'Course I recognize you.

Welcome back to the city.

Thanks. Here boys, you can all go back to the armory 'cause I want to talk to my friend now. Right forward face, march!

Say, Jimmy, you must have had some awful times down in Mexico.

Yes, I had some awful experience down there.

Did you ever do any guard?

'Course I don' guard duty.

Say, Jimmie, suppose you were on guard duty at night and two Mexicans would approach your post, then what would you do?

I would shoot them.

Suppose four Mexicans approach your post, then what would you do?

I'd shoot them.

Suppose a hundred Mexicans would approach your post, then what would you do?

I'd lay down my rifle and form a line.

What kind of a line would you form by yourself?

A beeline for camp.

What makes a general?

Why, politics.

What is a furlough?

A furlough is a leave of absence granted to weak-kneed officers.

You certainly am a soldier.

One day the general said, "Jimmy, we are short of fresh meat. Take your rifle, go over to yonder hill and see if you can't fetch some back.' I took my rifle and went over to the hills and walked about a mile when I came upon six great big grizzly bears and they were playing with their cubs. The bears looked at me and I looked at them and I said "This is no place fer Jimmy." I laid down my rifle and I started

JIMMY TRIGGER RETURNS FROM THE WAR-Cont'd to run and the bears they run after me. I cut a hole in the air. Oh, dem bears got so close to me I could feel their hot breath on the bosom of my pants. I was tearing down the road and the soldiers seen me coming. They said, "Look, here comes Jimmy." I said, "Scatter, disperse! 'Cause I'm fetching the meat home alive!"

Jimmy, you sure are some bear hunter. Do you remember when I was in the Navy?

Sure, I remember that well.

Well, we got orders from Washington to take a big six-mast schooner down to Key West. We was sailing along in about the longitude of eleven and latitude of fortyfour.

Oh, that's a crap game.

We was sailing along and all of a sudden the captain spied a great big black cloud. We sailed right under this black cloud and what do you suppose it was? Why, it was a flock of mosquitoes. They lit on that ship and cleaned us out of all the canvas on the ship and all the tar rope we had. They cleaned us clean.

I seen that same flock of mosquitoes down in Vera Cruz.
How do you know?

They had on tar rope suspenders and canvas overalls.
Victor Record 35518

JOHN ANDERSON MY JO
Burns

John Anderson, my Jo, John.
When we were first acquent,
Your locks were like the raven,
Your bonnie brow was bent.

But, now your brow is bald, John,
Your locks as like the snaw,
Yet blessings on your frosty pow,
John Anderson, my Jo.

John Anderson, my Jo, John.
We climbed the hill thegither,
And mony a cantie day, John,
We've had wi' ane anither,

Now we may totter doon, John,
But hand in hand we'll go,

And we'll sleep thegither at the foot,
John Anderson, my Jo.

Victor Record 16213

MAY GOD AND HIS ANGELS GUARD YOU, DEAR

Keithley

Evening has come to the valley,

Stilled are the sounds of the day,
Moonbeams now shine on the homestead,
And meadows of new mown hay;

There all alone sits a mother,

Tears dim her sorrowful eyes;

She's thinking of one who has roamed far away,
With lips all a-tremble she sighs:

Chorus:

I'm longing for you, my boy, tonight,
Wondering where you may be;

I'm hoping that someone loves you, dear,
Just as you're loved by me.

I'm dreaming you'll wander home some day,
Back to my fondest care,

May God and His angels guard you, dear;
That is your mother's prayer.

Sleep comes to close eyes so weary,
Dreams come of days that are gone,

Once more her hair is golden,

The world is a world of song;

In dreams her boy is a baby,

Saying his pray'rs at her knee;

Again in her fond arms she sings him to sleep,
And lays him to rest tenderly.

Used by permission. Words and music copyright 1914 by
Frank K. Root & Co., Chicago, Ill.

Imperial Record 5214

MEFISTOFELE

OPENING CHORUS

Boito

Hail, sovereign Lord of saints and angels holy,

Hail, mighty Lord of the angelic hosts!

Of the seraphs e'er bending lowly,

And of the cherubs with their wings of gold,

Hail, all hail, Lord, to Thee!

From the harmonies eternal of space unbounded,

From azure regions unbounded

Ascends a joyful anthem of supremest love,

A joyful anthem of love!

Up to thy throne through azure depths unbounded
Anthems are sounded! Hail, all hail, all hail to Thee.

Victor Record 64126

MEETING OF THE WATER

Moore

There is not in this wide world a valley so sweet,
As that vale in whose bosom the bright waters meet,
Oh! the last rays of feeling and life must depart,
Ere the bloom of that valley shall fade from my heart.

Yet it was not that Nature had shed o'er the scene
Her purest of crystal and brightest of green;
"Twas not the soft magic of streamlet or hill,
Oh! no. It was something more exquisite still!

"Twas that friends, the beloved of my bosom, were there,
Who made every dear scene of enchantment more dear,
And who felt how the best charms of nature improve,
When we see them reflected from looks that we love.

Sweet Vale of Avoca; how calm could I rest
In the bosom of shade with the friends I love best,
Where the storms that we feel in this cold world should cease,
And our hearts like thy waters be mingled in peace.

Columbia Record 5916

MEET ME BY MOONLIGHT ALONE

Wade

Meet me by moonlight alone,

And then I will tell you a tale,
Must be told by the moonlight alone,
In the grove at the end of the vale.

You must promise to come, for I said,

I would show the night flowers their queen;
Nay, turn not away thy sweet head,
"Tis the loveliest ever was seen!
Oh, meet me by moonlight alone,
Meet me by moonlight alone!

Daylight may do for the gay,

The thoughtless, the heartless and free,
But there's something about the moon's ray
That is sweeter to you and to me.

Oh, remember, be sure to be there,

For though dearly a moonlight Í prize,

I care not for all in the air,

If I want the sweet light of your eyes.
So, meet me by moonlight alone,

Meet me by moonlight alone!

Columbia Record 1491

MIKADO

Gilbert & Sullivan

Behold the Lord High Executioner
Behold the Lord High Executioner,
A personage of noble rank and title,
A dignified and a patient officer,

Whose functions are particularly vital;
Defer, defer, to the Lord High Executioner;
Defer, defer to the Noble Lord.

Flowers that Bloom in the Spring
The flowers that bloom in the spring, trala,
Breathe promise of merry sunshine,
As we merrily dance and we sing, trala,
We welcome the hope that they bring, trala,
Of a summer of roses and wine.

And that's what we mean when we say that a thing
Is welcome as a flower that blooms in the spring, trala
As the flowers that bloom in the spring.

Three Little Maids from School
Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a school girl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school.
Everything is a source of fun,
Nobody's safe, for we care for none,
Life is a joke that's just begun,

Three little maids from school,
Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary,

Three little maids from school,
Three little maids from school.

Tit Willow

On a tree by a river a little tom tit
Sang, Willow, tit willow, tit willow;
And I said to him, "Dicky bird, why do you sit,
Singing willow, tit willow, tit willow?"

"Is it weakness of intellect?" I cried,

"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?" With a shake of his poor little head he replied, "Willow, tit willow, tit willow."