hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could | If every one knows us, and we know none, find out countries in her. Ant. 8. In what part of her body stands Ireland? Dr. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. Ant. S. Where Scotland? 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone. Drs. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard, in She, that doth call me husband, even my soul the palm of the hand. Ant. $. Where France? Doth for a wife abbor: but her fair sister, Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace, Dr. S. In her forehead; armed and reverted, Of such enchanting presence and discourse, making war against her hair. Ant. 8. Where England? Dro. 8. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them: but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands ? Dro. &. O, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; called me Dromio; swore, I was assured to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch: and, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtail-dog, and made me turn i'the wheel. Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road; And if the wind blow any way from shore, I will not harbour in this town to-night. If any bark put forth, come to the mart, Where I will walk, till thou return to me. SCENE L. The same. [Exit. Hath almost made me traitor to myself: Ang. Master Antipholus? Ang. I know it well, sir Lo, here is the chain; Ant. S. What is your will, that I shall do with this? Ang. What please yourself, sir; I have made it for you. Ant. S. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have: Go home with it, and please your wife withal; Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain, nor money more. Ang. You are a merry man, sir; fare you well. [Exit. Ant. S. What I should think of this, I cannot tell: But this I think, there's no man is so vain, That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain. I see, a man here needs not live by shifts, When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay; If any ship put out, then straight away. ACT IV. Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer. Mer. You know, since Pentecost the sum is due, And since I have not much impórtun'd you ; Nor now I had not, but that I am bound To Persia, and want gilders for my voyage: Therefore make present satisfaction, Or I'll attach you by this officer. Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, Is growing to me by Antipholus: And, in the instant that I met with you, He had of me a chain; at five o'clock, I shall receive the money for the same: Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, I will discharge my bond, and thank you too. Enter ANTIPROLUS of Ephesus, and DROMIO of Ephesus. 07. That labour may you save; see where he comes. [Exit. And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow Besides I have some business in the town: Either send the chain, or send me by some token. Ant. E. Fye! now you run this humour out of breath : Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it. Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer you? Ang. The money, that you owe me for the chain. Ant. E. I owe you none, till I receive the chain. Ang. You know, I gave it you half an hour since. Ant. E. You gave me none; you wrong me much to say so. Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: Consider, how it stands upon my credit. Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my suit. to obey me. Ang. This touches me in reputation: — Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st. Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer; Off. I do arrest you, sir; you hear the suit. Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, To your notorious shame, I doubt it not. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Lpatanur, That stays but till her owner comes aboard, And then, sir, bears away: our fraughtage, sir, I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitæ. The ship is in her trim; the merry wind Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all, What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage. Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope; And told thee to what purpose, and what end. Dro. S. You sent me, sir, for a rope's-end as soon: You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark. Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure, And teach your ears to listen with more heed. To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight: Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry, There is a purse of ducats; let her send it ; Tell her, I am arrested in the street, And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave; be gone. On, officer, to prison till it come. [Exeunt Merchant, ANGELO, Officer, and! ANT. E. Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. Look'd he or red, or pale; or sad, or merrily? Luc. First, he denied you had in him no right. Adr. He meant, he did me none; the more my First, he did praise my beauty; then, my speech. Adr. Did'st speak him fair? Luc. Have patience, I beseech. Adr. I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still; My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will. He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere, Ill-fac'd, worse-bodied, shapeless every where ; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making, worse in mind. Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one ? No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone. Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I say, And yet would herein others' eyes were worse: Far from her nest the lapwing cries, away; My heart prays for him, though my tongue de Dr. S. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell. A devil in an everlasting garment hath him, One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel ; A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough; A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff'; A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry foot well; One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell. Adr. Why, man, what is the matter? Dre. S. I do not know the matter; he is 'rested on the case. Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whose suit. Dr. S. I know not at whose suit he is arrested, well; But he's in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that can I tell : Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in the desk? Adr. Go fetch it, sister. This I wonder at, [Erit LUCIANA. That he, unknown to me, should be in debt; Tell me, was he arrested on a band? Dre. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing; A chain, a chain: do you not hear it ring? Adr. What, the chain? Dr. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were gone. It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear. Dro. &. O yes. If any hour meet a sergeant, a'turns back for very fear. Ar. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason! Dra. §.. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's worth, to season. Nay, be's a thief too: Have you not heard men say, Enter LUCIANA. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of Old Adam new apparelled? Ant. S. What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean? Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's-skin that was killed for the prodigal ; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Ant. S. I understand thee not. Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike. Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer? Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest! Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone? Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you. Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I ; - Enter a Courtezan. Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now: Is that the chain, you promis'd me to-day? Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee tempt me not! Dro. S. Ant. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light straight; And bring thy master home immediately. SCENE III.—The same. Ant. &. There's not a man I meet, but doth salute me As if I were their well-acquainted friend; And show'd me silks that he had bought for me, wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her. Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here. Dro. S. Master, if you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon. Ant. S. Why, Dromio? Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil. Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress : I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone. Cour. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner, Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd; And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you. Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring of one's nail, A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, Master, be wise; an' if you give it her, Cour. I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain; I hope, you do not mean to cheat me so. Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go. Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress, that you know. [Exeunt ANT. S. and Dro. S. Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. SCENE IV. The same. [Exit. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an Officer. Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break away: I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears. —— Enter DROMIO of Ephesus, with a rope's end. Here comes my man; I think, he brings the money. How now, sir? have you that I sent you for? Dro. E. Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all. Ant. E. But where's the money? Dro. E. Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope. Ant. E. Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope? Dro. E. I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate. Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee bie thee home? Dro. E. To a rope's end, sir; and to that end am I return'd. Ant. E. And to that end, sir, I will welcome by my long ears. I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows: when I am cold, he heats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcomed home with it, when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat: and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the Courtezan, with PINCH, and others. Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder. Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, Beware the rope's end. Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk? [Beats him. you. [Beating him. Off. Good sir, be patient. Ant. E. Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity. And did not she herself revile me there Dro. E. Sans fable, she herself revil'd you there, Ant. E. Did not her kitchen maid rail, taunt and scorn me? Off. Good now, hold thy tongue. Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands. Ant. E. Thou whoreson, senseless villain ! Dro. E. I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows. Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass. Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein, | arrest me. Adr. Alas! I sent you money to redeem you. By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. Dr. E. Money by me? heart and good-will you might, But, surely, master, not a rag of money. And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it. Dro. E. Master, I am here enter'd in bond for Ant. E. Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me? Dro. E. Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, Ant. E. Went'st not thou to her for a purse of Good master; cry, the devil.— ducats? Adr. He came to me, and I deliver'd it. Luc. And I am witness with her, that she did. Dr. E. God and the rope-maker, bear me witness, That I was sent for nothing but a rope! Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is pos- I know it by their pale and deadly looks: And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth. Dro. E. And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold; But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out. Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both. 4nt. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all ; [PINCH and his Assistants bind ANT. E. and Adr. O, bind him, bind him, let him not come Luc. God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk! me.- - [Exeunt PINCH and Assistants, with ANT. E. Say now, whose suit is he arrested at? One Angelo, a goldsmith; Do you know Adr. I know the man: What is the sum he owes? not. Came to my house, and took away my ring, Adr. It may be so, but I did never see it: Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, with his rapier Luc. God, for thy mercy! they are loose again. Adr. And come with naked swords; let's call more help, To have them bound again. off. Away, they'll kill us. [Exeunt Officer, ADR. and Luc. Ant. S. I see, these witches are afraid of swords. Dro. S. She, that would be your wife, now ran from you. Ant. S. Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence: I long, that we were safe and sound aboard. Dro. S. Faith, stay here this night, they will surely do us no harm; you saw, they speak us fair, give us gold methinks, they are such a gentle nation, that but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to stay here still, and turn witch. Ant. S. I will not stay to night for all the town; Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard. [Exeunt. SCENE I.-The same. Enter Merchant and ANGELO. ACT V. Ang. I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder'd you; Mer. How is the man esteem'd here in the city? Second to none that lives here in the city; |