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TWO GENTLEMEN OF
DUKE OF MILAN, father to Silvia. VALENTINE,
PROTEES, Gentlemen of Verona.
THERIO, a foolish rival to Valentine.
EGLAMOUR, agent for Silvia, in her escape. STEED, a clownish servant to Valentine. Larsce, servant to Proteus.
PANTHINO, servant to Antonio.
Host, where Julia lodges in Milan. Out-laws.
JULIA, a lady of Verona, beloved by Proteus. SILVIA, the duke's daughter, beloved by Valentine. LUCETTA, waiting-woman to Julia.
· Sometimes in VERONA; sometimes in MILAN; and on the frontiers of Mantua.
SCENE I.• An open nlace in Verona. PROTEUS. Enter VA Vel. Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus; Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits; Wer't not, affection chains thy tender days To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love, I rather would entreat thy company, To see the wonders of the world abroad, Than living dully sluggardiz'd at home, Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness.
But, since thou lov'st, love still, and thrive therein, Even as I would, when I to love begin.
Pra. Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu ! Think on thy Proteus, when thou, haply, seest Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel: Wish me partaker in thy happiness,
When thou dost meet good hap: and, in thy danger, danger do environ thee,
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
Val. And on a love-book pray for my success.
In love, where scorn is bought with groans; coy
With heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth,
If haply won, perhaps, a hapless gain;
Pro. So, by your circumstance, you call me fool.
Pro. 'Tis love you cavil at; I am not love. Val. Love is your master, for he masters you: And he that is so yoked by a fool,
Methinks should not be chronicled for wise.
Pro. Yet writers say, As in the sweetest bud The eating canker dwells, so eating love Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
Val. And writers say, As the most forward bud
Once more adieu: my father at the road
Pro. And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
Speed. Why then my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
Pro. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep. Speed. This proves me still a sheep. Pro. True; and thy master a shepherd. Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. Pro. It shall go hard, but I'll prove it by another. Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me: therefore, I am no sheep.
Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee: therefore, thou art a sheep.
Speed. Such another proof will make me cry baa. Pro. But dost thou hear? gav'st thou my letter to Julia ?
Speed. Ay, sir; I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labour!
Pro. Here's too small a pasture for such a store of muttons.
Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound you.
Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter.
Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold.
Pro. Nod, I; why, that's noddy. Speed. You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask me, if she did nod; and I say, I.
Pro. And that set together, is—noddy. Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains.
Pro. No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter.
Speed. Well, I perceive, I must be fain to bear with you.
Pro. Why, sir, how do you bear with me? Speed. Marry, sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains.
Pro. Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit. Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.
Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief: What said she?
Speed. Open your purse, that the money, and the matter, may be both at once delivered.
Pro. Well, sir, here is for your pains: What said
Speed. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. Pro. Why? Could'st thou perceive so much from her?
Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter: And being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear, she'll prove as hard to you in telling Give her no token but stones; for she's
as hard as steel.
Pro. What, said she nothing?
Speed. No, not so much as- take this for th pains. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'd me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll com mend you to my master
Pro. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck;
Which cannot perish, having thee aboard,
The same. Garden of Julia's House Enter JULIA and LUCETTA.
Jul. But say, Lucetta, now we are alone, Would'st thou then counsel me to fall in love? Luc. Ay, madam; so you stumble not unheedfully Jul. Of all the fair resort of gentlemen, That every day with parle encounter me, In thy opinion, which is worthiest love? Luc. Please you, repeat their names, I'll shew my mind
According to my shallow simple skill.
Jul. What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour Luc. As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine But, were I you, he never should be mine.
Jul. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio? Luc. Well, of his wealth; but of himself, so, so Jul. What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus? Luc. Lord, lord! to see what folly reigns in us! Jul. How now! what means this passion at hi
Jul. I would, Í knew his mind.
Peruse this paper, madam.
He would have given it you, but I, being in the way,
There, take the paper, see it be return'd;
Jul. You, minion, àre too saucy.
Luc. Nay, now you are too flat,
Jul. The mean is drown'd with your unruly base.
Luc. She makes it strange; but she would be
To be so anger'd with another letter.
[Exit. Jul. Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same! O hateful hands, to tear such loving words! Injurious wasps! to feed on such sweet honey,
Lac. To plead for lové deserves more fee than And kill the bees, that yield it, with your stings!
Jul. Will you be gone?
That you may ruminate. [Erit.
Which they would have the profferer construe, Лy.
What is't you took up
Why didst thou stoop then?
Nothing concerning me.
Jul. Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.
Jal. As little by such toys as may be possible:
Luz. Ay; and melodious were it, would you
J. And why not you?
I cannot reach so high,
Luc. No, madam; it is too sharp,
I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
For any, or for all these exercises,
He said, that Proteus, your son, was meet:
Ant. Nor need'st thou much impórtune me to that
Ant. I know it well.
Pan. 'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither:
There shall he practise tilts and tournaments,
Ant. I like thy counsel; well hast thou advis'd:
I will dispatch him to the emperor's court.
Pan. To-morrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso,
With other gentlemen of good esteem,
Ant. Good company; with them shall Proteus go: And, in good time, now will we break with him.
Pro. Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!
Ant. How now? what letter are you reading there ?
Pro. May't please your lordship, 'tis a word o
Of commendation sent from Valentine,
Ant. Lend me the letter; let me see what news.
Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune. Ant. And how stand you affected to his wish? Pro. As one relying on your lordship's will, And not depending on his friendly wish.
Ant. My will is something sorted with his wish:
I am resolv'd, that thou shalt spend some time
Pro. My lord, I cannot be so soon provided;
Ant. Look, what thou want'st, shall be sent after thee:
No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go.
[Exeunt ANT. and PAN. Pro. Thus have I shunn'd the fire, for fear of burning;
And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd:
The uncertain glory of an April day;
Pan. Sir Proteus, your father calls for you; He is in haste, therefore, I pray you, go.
Pro. Why, this it is! my heart accords thereto; And yet a thousand times it answers, no. [Exeunt.
Val. Ha! let me see: ay, give it ne, it's mine:
Speed. Madam Silvia! madam Silvia!
Speed. She is not within hearing, sir.
Speed. And yet I was last chidden for being too
Val. Go to, sir; tell me, do you know madam Silvia?
Speed. She that your worship loves?
Val. Why, how know you that I am in love? Speed. Marry, by these special marks: First, you have learned, like sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a male-content; to relish a love-song, like a Robin-red-breast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A. B. C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress,
that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Val. Are all these things perceived in me?
Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal; that not an eye, that sees you, but is a physician to comment on your malady.
Fal. But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? Speed. She, that you gaze on so, as she sits at supper?
Val. Hast thou observed that? even she I mean. Speed. Why, sir, I know her not.
Val. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not?
Speed. Is she not hard favoured, sir?
Speed. That she is not so fair, as (of you) well favoured.
Fal. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but ber favour infinite.
Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.
Val. How painted? and how out of count? Speed. Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
Val. How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.
Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed.
Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I see her beautiful.
Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her.
Speed. Because love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have, when you chid at sir Proteus for going ungartered!
Val. What should I see then?
Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her. Speed. I would you were set; so, your affection would cease.
Fal. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
Speed. And have you?
Val. I have.
Speed. O, 'give you good even! here's a million of manners. [Aside. Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
Speed. He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
Val. As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter, Unto the secret nameless friend of yours; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in, But for my duty to your ladyship.
Sil. I thank you, gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done.
Val. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off; For, being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
Val. No, madam; so it stead you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet,
Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; And yet I will not name it :-and yet I care not; And yet take this again;-and yet I thank you ; Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
Speed. And yet you will; and yet another yet.
Val. What means your ladyship? do you not
Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ: But since unwillingly, take them again; Nay, take them.
Val. Madam, they are for you.
Sil. Ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request; But I will none of them; they are for you: I would have had them writ more movingly. Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another. Sil. And when it's writ, for my sake read it over: And if it please you, so: if not, why, so.
Val. If it please me, madam! what then? Sil. Why, if it please you, take it for your labour. And so good morrow, servant. [Erit SILVIA. Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her; and she hath taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
Val. How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?
Speed. Nay, I was rhyming; 'tis you that have
Val. What figure?
Speed. By a letter, I should say.
Val. Why, she hath not writ to me?
Speed. What needs she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest? Val. No, believe me.
Speed. No believing you indeed, sir: But did you perceive her earnest?
Val. She gave me none, except an angry word.