Agam. Speak frankly ⚫ as the wind; It is not Agamemnon's s'eeping hour: That thou shalt know, Trojan, he is awake, Ene. Trumpet blow loud, Send thy brass voice through all these lazy And every Greek of mettle, let him know, bords! If there be one among the fair'st of Greece, That knows his valour, and knows not to fear; In other arms than hers,-to him this chal- Hector, in view of Trojans and of Greeks, Even so much : not worth If none of them have soul in such a kind, diers; sol And may that soldier a mere recreant prove, man When Hector's grandsire suck'd he is old now; me moble man, that hath one spark of fire blood Enc. Now heavens forbid such scarcity youth! Lips. Amen! of Nest. Well, and how? Ulyss. This challenge that the gallant Hector However it is spread in general name, Nest. The purpose is perspicuous even as sub. Whose grossness little characters sum up: Ay, with celerity, find Hector's purpose Ulyss. And wake him to the answer, think Nest. Yes, It is most meet; Whom may you else oppose For here the Trojans taste our dear'st repute Our imputation shall be oddly pois'd Of things to come at large. It is suppos'd, What heart receives from hence a conquering part, To steel a strong opinion to themselves? Ulyss. Give pardon to my speech ;- Nest. I see them not with my old eyes; what Ulyss. What glory our Achilles shares from Were he not proud, we all should share with him : And we were better parch in Afric sun, Fair lord Æneas, let me touch your Why, then we did our main opinion crush In taint of our best man. No, make a lottery; Give him allowance for the better man, That we have better men. But, hit or miss, Now I begin to relish thy advice; To Agamemnon: go we to him straight. ACT II. SCENE I.-Another part of the Grecian Camp. Enter AJAX and THERSITES. Ajar. Thersites, Achil. So I do; What's the matter? Ther. But yet you look not well upon him: for, whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax. Achil. I know that, fool. Ther. Ay, but that fool knows not himself. Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain, more than he has beat my bones: I will buy nine sparrows for a penny and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax,-who Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils full, wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his all over, generally ? Ajax. Dog, Ther. Then would come some matter from him; I see none now. Ajar. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? Feel then. [Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord! Ajar. Speak then, thou unsalted leaven! speak: I will beat thee into handsomeness. Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness but I think thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, caust thou? a red murrain o' thy jade's tricks! Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation. Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus ? Ajar. The proclamation, Ther. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think. Ajax. Do not, porcupine, do not; my fingers itch. Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another. Ajax. I say, the proclamation,——————— Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty; ay, that thou barkest at him. Ajar. Mistress Thersites ! Ther. Thou shouldest strike him. Ther. He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit. Ajar. You whoreson cur! [Beating him. Ajax. Thou stool for a witch! Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinego may tutor thee: Thou scurvy valiant ass; thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat ine, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou! Ajar. You dog! Ther. You scurvy lord! [Beating him. Ther. Mars his idiot, do! rudeness; do, camel; do, do. Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. head, I'll tell you what I say of him. Achil. What? Ther. I say this, Ajax- [AJAX offers to strike him, ACHILLES Ther. Has not so much wit- Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he comes to fight. Achil. Peace, fool! Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not: he there; that he; look you there. Ajar. O thou damned cur! I shallAchil. Will you set your wit to a fool's ? Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will shame it. Patr. Good words, Thersites. Achil. What's the quarrel? Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me. Ther. I serve thee not. Ajar. Well, go to, go to. Ther. I serve here voluntary. + Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary; Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress. Ther. Even so ?-a great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, it he knock out either of your brains; a' were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel. Achil. What with me too, Thersites ? Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor,-whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes,-yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars. Achil. What, what? Ther. Yes, good sooth; To, Achilles ! to Ajax! to! Ajar. I shall cut out your tongue. Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou afterwards. Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace. Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brach bids me, shall I Achil. There's for you, Patroclus. Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents; I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. ¡Exit. Patr. A good riddance. all our host: That Hector, by the first hour of the sun, Achil. Why, how now, Ajax? wherefore do Maintain-I know not what; 'tis trash: Fare you thus ? well. Ajar. Farewell. Who shall answer him? Achil. I know not it is put to lottery; otherHe knew his man. [wise, Ajar. Oh! meaning you :—I'll go learn more [Exeunt.. of it. Hect. Though no man lesser fears the Greeks than 1, As far as toucheth my particular, yet, There is no lady of more softer bowels, Than Hector is: The wound of peace is surety, question, Every tithe soul, 'mongst many thousand dismes,* Tro. Fie, tie, my brother! Weigh you the worth and bonour of a king, Of common ounces? will you with counters sum As fears and reasons? fie, for godly shame! reasons, father You are so empty of them. Should not our [sons, Bear the great sway of his affairs with rea Because your speech hath none, that tells him so? Tre. You are for dreams and slumbers, brother priest, You for your gloves with reason. your reasons: Here are You know, an enemy intends you harm; With this cramm'd reason: reason and respect + The bolding. Is What is anght, but as 'tis valued? As well wherein 'tis precious of itself • Tenths. Two traded pilots 'twixt the dangerous shores We turn not back the silks upon the merchant When we have soil'd them; nor the remainder viands We do not throw in unrespective sieve, t Because we now are full. It was thought meet, Paris should do some vengeance on the Greeks: Your breath with full consent bellied his sails; The seas and winds (old wranglers) took a truce, And did him service: he touch'd the ports desir'd; [captive, And, for an old aunt whom the Greeks held He brought a Grecian queen, whose youth and freshness Wrinkles Apollo's, and makes pale the morning. Why keep we her? the Grecians keep our aunt: Is she worth keeping? why, she is a pearl Whose price hath launch'd above a thousand ships, And turn'd crown'd kings to merchants. And cried-Inestimable!) why do you now Cas. [Within.] Cry, Trojans f Enter CASSANDRA, raving. Cas. Cry, Trojans, cry! lend me ten thousand eyes, And I will fill them with prophetic tears. Cas. Virgins and boys, mid-age and wrinkled elders, Soft infancy, that nothing canst but cry, [Erit. Hect. Now youthful Troilus, do not these high strains Of divination in our sister work Tro. Why, brother Hector, We may not think the justness of each act tures Such things as might offend the weakest spleen To tight for and maintain! Par. Else might the world convince⚫ of levity As well my undertakings, as your counsels: But I attest the gods, your full consent Gave wings to my propension, and cut off All fears attending on so dire a project. For what, alas, can these my single arms! What propagation + is in one man's valour, To stand the push and enmity of those This quarrel would excite? Yet, I protest, Were 1 alone to pass the difficulties, And had as ample power as I have will, Paris should ne'er retract what he hath done, Nor faint in the pursuit. Pri. Paris, you speak Like one besotted on your sweet delights: Par. Sir, I propose not merely to myself On terms of base compulsion? Can it be, And on the cause and question now in hand Have hears more deaf than adders to the voice If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king ;- To have her back return'd: Thus to persist In doing wrong, extenuates not wrong, But makes it much more heavy. Hector's opi nion Is this in way of truth: yet ne'ertheless, In resolution to keep Helen still; For 'tis a cause that hath no mean dependence Upon our joint and several dignities. Tro. Why, there you touch'd the life of our design: Were it not glory that we more affected She is a theme of honour and renown; Ther. How now, Thersites? what, lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus ? he beats me, and I rail at him: O worthy satisfaction! 'would it were otherwise; that I could beat him whilst he railed at me : 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles,-a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O thon great thunder-darter of Olympus, forget that thou art Jove the king of gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy Caduceus ;【 if ye take not that little little less-than-little wit from them that they have! which short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing their massy irons, and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather, the bone-ache! for that, methinks, is the curse dependent on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers; and devil, envy, say Amen. What, ho! my lord Achilles ! Enter PATROCLUS. Patr. Who's there? Thersites ? Good Thersites, come in and rail. Ther. If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldest not have slipped out of my contemplation: but it is no matter: Thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and disci pline come not near thee! Let thy blood § be thy direction till thy death! then if she, that lays thee out, says-thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't, she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen.-Where's Achilles? Patr. What, art thou devout? wast thou in prayer? Ther. Ay; The heavens hear me ! Enter ACHILLES. Achil. Who's there? Patr. Thersites, my lord. Achil. Where, where?—Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my table so many meals! Come; what's Agamemnon ? Ther. Thy commander, Achilles :-Then tell me, Patroclus, what's Achilles ? Patr. Thy lord, Thersites; Then tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself? Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus; Then tell me, Patroclus, what art thou? Patr. Thou mayest tell, that knowest. Ther. I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is a fool. Achil. He is a privileged man.-Proceed, | We come to speak with him: And you shall not Thersites. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool: Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool. Achil. Derive this; come. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to comBrad Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool; and Patroclus is a fool po Patr. Why am I a fool? Ther. Make that demand of the prover.-It sufices me, thou art. Look you, who comes here! Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIONEDES, and AJAX. Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody: Come in with me, Thersites. [Exit. Ther. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery! all the argument is, a cuckold and a whore; A good quarrel to draw emulous factions, and bleed to death upon! Now the dry serpigot on the subject! and war and lechery confound all! [Exit. Agam. Where is Achilles? lord. Agam. Let it be known to him that we are bere. He shent; our messengers; and we lay by Petr. I shall say so to him. [Exit. Ulyss. We saw him at the opening of his tent: He is not sick. Ajar. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my bead, 'tis pride: But why, why let him show us a cause.-A word, my lord. [Takes AGAMEMNON aside. Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ulyss. Achillea hath inveigled his fool from sin, If you do say--we think him over-proud, Here tend the savage strangeness + he puts on; [Exit. Agam. In second voice we'll not be satisfied, We come to speak with him.-Ulysses, enter. [Exit ULYSSES. Ajax. What is he more than another? Agam. No more than what he thinks he is. Ajar. Is he so much? Do you not think, he thinks himself a better man than I am? Agam. No question. Ajax. Will you subscribe his thought, and say -he is ? Agam. No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable. Ajax. Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is. Agam. Your mind's the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the fairer. He that is proud, eats up himself: pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed in the praise. Ajax. I do hate a proud man, as I hate the engendering of toads. Nest. And yet he loves himself: Is it not strange? [Aside. Re-enter ULYSSES. Ulyss. Achilles will not to the field to-mor row. Agam. What's his excuse? Agam. Why will he not, upon our fair re. quest, Untent his person, and share the air with us? Ulyss. Things small as nothing, for request's sake only, [greatness; He makes important: Possess'd he is with And speaks not to himself, but with a pride That quarrels at self-breath: imagin'd worth Holds in his blood such swoln and hot dis course, That, 'twixt his mental and bis active parts, Agam. Let Ajax go to him. Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent : We are too well acquainted with these answers:'Tis said he holds you well: and will be led,, At your request, a little from himself. lord, That bastes his arrogance with his own seam, ¶ • Attend. + Shyness. 1 Obey Fits of lunacy. Approbation. Swine-seam is hog's lard. |