To Agamemnon: go we to him straight.
Two curs sball tame each other; Pride alone
Must tarre the mastiffs on, as 'twere their bone.
[Exeunt.

ACT II.

SCENE I.-Another part of the Grecian

Camp.

Enter AJAX and THERSITES.

Ajar. Thersites,

Achil. So I do; What's the matter?
Ther. Nay, but regard him well.
Achil. Well, why I do so.

Ther. But yet you look not well upon him: for, whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax.

Ajax. Dog,

Ther. Then would come some matter from him; I see none now.

Ajar. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? Feel then. [Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord!

Ajar. Speak then, thou unsalted leaven! speak: I will beat thee into handsomeness.

Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness but I think thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, caust thou? a red murrain o' thy jade's tricks!

Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation. Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus ?

Ajar. The proclamation,

Ther. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think. Ajax. Do not, porcupine, do not; my fingers itch.

Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another.

Ajax. I say, the proclamation,———————

Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty; ay, that thou barkest at him.

Ajar. Mistress Thersites !

Ther. Thou shouldest strike him.
Ajax. Cobloaf! +

Ther. He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.

Ajar. You whoreson cur!
Ther. Do, do.

[Beating him.

Ajax. Thou stool for a witch! Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinego may tutor thee: Thou scurvy valiant ass; thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat ine, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou!

Ajar. You dog!

Ther. You scurvy lord!
Ajax. You cur!

[Beating him. Ther. Mars his idiot, do! rudeness; do, camel; do, do.

Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.

head, I'll tell you what I say of him.

Achil. What?

Ther. I say this, Ajax-
Achil. Nay, good Ajax.

[AJAX offers to strike him, ACHILLES
interposes.

Ther. Has not so much wit-
Achil. Nay, I must hold you.

Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he comes to fight. Achil. Peace, fool!

Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not: he there; that he; look you there.

Ajar. O thou damned cur! I shallAchil. Will you set your wit to a fool's ? Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will shame it.

Patr. Good words, Thersites.

Achil. What's the quarrel?

Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me. Ther. I serve thee not.

Ajar. Well, go to, go to.

Ther. I serve here voluntary. +

Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary; Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.

Ther. Even so ?-a great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, it he knock out either of your brains; a' were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.

Achil. What with me too, Thersites ?

Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor,-whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes,-yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars.

Achil. What, what?

Ther. Yes, good sooth; To, Achilles ! to Ajax! to!

Ajar. I shall cut out your tongue.

Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou afterwards.

Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace. Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brach bids me, shall I

Achil. There's for you, Patroclus.

Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents; I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. ¡Exit.

Patr. A good riddance.
Achil. Marry, this, Sir, is proclaim'd through

all our host:

you thus ?

well.

Ajar. Farewell. Who shall answer him? Achil. I know not it is put to lottery; otherHe knew his man. [wise, Ajar. Oh! meaning you :—I'll go learn more [Exeunt..

of it.

Hect. Though no man lesser fears the Greeks than 1,

As far as toucheth my particular, yet,
Dread Priam,

There is no lady of more softer bowels,
More spungy to suck in the sense of fear,
More ready to cry out-Who knows what fol-
Lows!

Than Hector is: The wound of peace is surety,
Surety secure; but modest doubt is call'd
The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches
To the bottom of the worst. Let Helen go:
Since the first sword was drawn about this

question,

Every tithe soul, 'mongst many thousand dismes,*
Hath been as dear as Helen: I mean, of ours:
If we have lost so many tenths of ours,
To guard a thing not ours; not worth to us,
Had it our name, the value of one ten;
What merits in that reason, which denies
The yielding of her up?

Tro. Fie, tie, my brother!

Weigh you the worth and bonour of a king,
bo great as our dread father, in a scale

Of common ounces? will you with counters sum
The past-proportion of his infinite?
And bucked-in a waist most fathomless,
With spans and inches so duninutive

As fears and reasons? fie, for godly shame!
Hel. No marvel, though you bite so sharp at

reasons,

father

You are so empty of them. Should not our [sons, Bear the great sway of his affairs with rea Because your speech hath none, that tells him so? Tre. You are for dreams and slumbers, brother priest,

You for your gloves with reason.

your reasons:

Here are

You know, an enemy intends you harm;
You know, a sword employ'd is perilous,
Aud reason flies the object of all barm:
Who marvels then, when Helenus beholds
A Grecian and his sword, if he do set
The very wings of reason to his heels;
A like chidden Mercury from Jove,
Or he a star disorb'd?-Nay, if we talk of rea-
[honour
Let's shut our gates, and sleep: Manhood and
bid have hare hearts, would they but fat
their thoughts

With this cramm'd reason: reason and respect +
Muvers pale, and lustihood deject.
Het. Brother, she is not worth what she
doth cost

The bolding.

Is What is anght, but as 'tis valued?
Beet. But value dwells not in particular will;
bts his estimate and dignity

As well wherein 'tis precious of itself
Ja in the prizer: 'tis mad idolatry,
Take the service greater than the god;
And he will dotes, that is attributive
3 wat infectiously itself affects,
#1 some image of the affected merit.
Te. I take to-day a wife, and my election
bed on in the conduct of my will;
X, will enkindled by mine eyes and ears,
↑ Caution.

• Tenths.

Two traded pilots 'twixt the dangerous shores
Of will and judgment: How may I avoid,
The wife I chose ? there can be no evasion
Although my will distaste what it elected,
To blench from this, and to stand firm by ho-
nour:

We turn not back the silks upon the merchant When we have soil'd them; nor the remainder viands

We do not throw in unrespective sieve, t Because we now are full. It was thought meet, Paris should do some vengeance on the Greeks: Your breath with full consent bellied his sails; The seas and winds (old wranglers) took a truce, And did him service: he touch'd the ports desir'd; [captive, And, for an old aunt whom the Greeks held He brought a Grecian queen, whose youth and freshness

Wrinkles Apollo's, and makes pale the morning. Why keep we her? the Grecians keep our aunt: Is she worth keeping? why, she is a pearl Whose price hath launch'd above a thousand ships,

And turn'd crown'd kings to merchants.
If you'll avouch 'twas wisdom Paris went,
(As you must needs, for you all cried-Go, go,)
If you'll confess, he brought home noble prize,
(As you must needs, for you all clapp'd your
hands,

And cried-Inestimable!) why do you now
The issue of your proper wisdoms rate;
And do a deed that fortune never did,
Beggar the estimation which you priz'd
Richer than sea and land? O theft most base;
That we have stolen what we do fear to keep!
But, thieves, unworthy of a thing so stolen,
That in their country did them that disgrace,
We fear to warrant in our native place!
Cas. [Within.] Cry, Trojans, cry!
Pri. What noise ? what shriek is this?
Tro. 'Tis our mad sister, I do know her
voice.

Cas. [Within.] Cry, Trojans f
Hect. It is Cassandra.

Enter CASSANDRA, raving.

Cas. Cry, Trojans, cry! lend me ten thousand

eyes,

And I will fill them with prophetic tears.
Hect. Peace, sister, peace.

Cas. Virgins and boys, mid-age and wrinkled elders,

Soft infancy, that nothing canst but cry,
Add to my clamours! let us pay betimes
A moiety of that mass of moan to come.
Cry, Trojans, cry! practise your eyes with tears }
Troy must not be, nor goodly Ilion stand;
Our fire-brand brother, Paris, § burns us all.
Cry, Trojans, cry! a Helen, and a woe :
Cry, cry Troy burns, or else let Helen go.

[Erit. Hect. Now youthful Troilus, do not these high strains

Of divination in our sister work
Some touches of remorse? or is your blood
So madly hot, that no discourse of reason,
Nor fear of bad success in a bad cause,
Can qualify the same!

Tro. Why, brother Hector,

We may not think the justness of each act
Such and no other than event doth form it
Nor once deject the courage of our minds,
Because Cassandra's mad: her brain-sick rap-

tures

Such things as might offend the weakest spleen To tight for and maintain!

Par. Else might the world convince⚫ of levity As well my undertakings, as your counsels: But I attest the gods, your full consent Gave wings to my propension, and cut off All fears attending on so dire a project. For what, alas, can these my single arms! What propagation + is in one man's valour, To stand the push and enmity of those This quarrel would excite? Yet, I protest, Were 1 alone to pass the difficulties, And had as ample power as I have will, Paris should ne'er retract what he hath done, Nor faint in the pursuit.

Pri. Paris, you speak

Like one besotted on your sweet delights:
You have the honey still, but these the gall;
So to be valiant, is no praise at all.

Par. Sir, I propose not merely to myself
The pleasures such a beauty brings with it;
But I would have the soil of her fair rape
Wip'd off in honourable keeping her.
What treason were it to the ransack'd queen,
Disgrace to your great worths, and shame to me,
Now to deliver her possession up,

On terms of base compulsion? Can it be,
That so degenerate a strain as this [soms?
Should once set footing in your generous bo-
There's not the meanest spirit on our party,
Without a heart to dare, or sword to draw,
When Helen is defeuded; nor none so noble,
Whose life were ill bestow'd, or death unfam'd,
Where Helen is the subject; then, I say,
Well may we fight for her, whom, we know well,
The world's large spaces cannot parallel.
Hect. Paris and Troilus, you have both said
well:

And on the cause and question now in hand
Have gioz'd, but superficially ; ‡ not much
Unlike young men, whom Aristotle thought
Usfit to hear moral philosophy :
The reasons you allege, do more conduce
To the hot passion of distemper'd blood,
Than to make up a free determination
'Twixt right and wrong; For pleasure and re-
venge

Have hears more deaf than adders to the voice
Of any true decision. Nature craves
All dues be render'd to their owners: Now
What nearer debt in all humanity,
Than wife is to the husband? if this law
Of nature be corrupted through affection;
And that great minds, of partial indulgence.
To their benumbed wills, resist the same;
There is a law in each well-order'd nation,
To curb those raging appetites that are
Most disobedient and refractory.

If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king ;-
As it is known she is,-these moral laws
Of nature, and of nations, speak aloud

To have her back return'd: Thus to persist

In doing wrong, extenuates not wrong,

But makes it much more heavy. Hector's opi

nion

Is this in way of truth: yet ne'ertheless,
My spritely brethren, I propend ¶ to you

In resolution to keep Helen still;

For 'tis a cause that hath no mean dependence Upon our joint and several dignities.

Tro. Why, there you touch'd the life of our design:

Were it not glory that we more affected
Than the performance of our heaving spleens,
I would not wish a drop of Trojan blood
Spent more in her defence. But, worthy Hec-
tor,

She is a theme of honour and renown;
A spur to valiant and magnanimous deeds;
Whose present courage may beat down our foes,
And fame, in time to come, canonize us;

Ther. How now, Thersites? what, lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus ? he beats me, and I rail at him: O worthy satisfaction! 'would it were otherwise; that I could beat him whilst he railed at me : 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles,-a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O thon great thunder-darter of Olympus, forget that thou art Jove the king of gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy Caduceus ;【 if ye take not that little little less-than-little wit from them that they have! which short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing their massy irons, and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather, the bone-ache! for that, methinks, is the curse dependent on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers; and devil, envy, say Amen. What, ho! my lord Achilles !

Enter PATROCLUS.

Patr. Who's there? Thersites ? Good Thersites, come in and rail.

Ther. If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldest not have slipped out of my contemplation: but it is no matter: Thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and disci pline come not near thee! Let thy blood § be thy direction till thy death! then if she, that lays thee out, says-thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't, she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen.-Where's Achilles?

Patr. What, art thou devout? wast thou in prayer?

Ther. Ay; The heavens hear me !

Enter ACHILLES.

Achil. Who's there?

Patr. Thersites, my lord.

Achil. Where, where?—Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my table so many meals! Come; what's Agamemnon ?

Ther. Thy commander, Achilles :-Then tell me, Patroclus, what's Achilles ?

Patr. Thy lord, Thersites; Then tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself?

Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus; Then tell me, Patroclus, what art thou?

Patr. Thou mayest tell, that knowest.
Achil. Oh! tell, tell.

Ther. I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is a fool.

Thersites.

Ther. Agamemnon is a fool: Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus

is a fool.

Achil. Derive this; come.

Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to comBrad Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool; and Patroclus is a fool po

Patr. Why am I a fool?

Ther. Make that demand of the prover.-It sufices me, thou art. Look you, who comes here!

Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIONEDES, and AJAX.

Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody: Come in with me, Thersites. [Exit. Ther. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery! all the argument is, a cuckold and a whore; A good quarrel to draw emulous factions, and bleed to death upon! Now the dry serpigot on the subject! and war and lechery confound all!

[Exit.

Agam. Where is Achilles?
Patr. Within his tent; but ill dispos'd, my

lord.

Agam. Let it be known to him that we are bere.

He shent; our messengers; and we lay by
Our appertainiments, visiting of him:
Let bith be told so; lest, perchance, he think
We dare not move the question of our place,
Or know not what we are.

Petr. I shall say so to him. [Exit. Ulyss. We saw him at the opening of his tent: He is not sick.

Ajar. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my bead, 'tis pride: But why, why let him show us a cause.-A word, my lord. [Takes AGAMEMNON aside. Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ulyss. Achillea hath inveigled his fool from

sin,

If you do say--we think him over-proud,
And under-honest; in self-assumption greater,
Than in the note of judgment; and worthier
than himself

Here tend the savage strangeness + he puts on;
Disguise the holy strength of their command,
And underwrite in an observing kind
His humourous predominance; yea, watch
His pettish lunes, his ebbs, his flows, as if
The passage and whole carriage of this action
Rode on his tide. Go, tell him this; and add,
That, if he overhold his price so much,
We'll none of him; but let him, like an engine
Not portable, lie under this report-
Bring action hither, this cannot go to war:
A stirring dwarf we do allowance || give
Before a sleeping giant :-Tell him so.
Patr. I shall; and bring his answer presently.

[Exit. Agam. In second voice we'll not be satisfied, We come to speak with him.-Ulysses, enter. [Exit ULYSSES.

Ajax. What is he more than another? Agam. No more than what he thinks he is. Ajar. Is he so much? Do you not think, he thinks himself a better man than I am? Agam. No question.

Ajax. Will you subscribe his thought, and say -he is ?

Agam. No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable.

Ajax. Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is.

Agam. Your mind's the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the fairer. He that is proud, eats up himself: pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed in the praise.

Ajax. I do hate a proud man, as I hate the engendering of toads.

Nest. And yet he loves himself: Is it not strange? [Aside.

Re-enter ULYSSES.

Ulyss. Achilles will not to the field to-mor

row.

Agam. What's his excuse?
Ulyss. He doth rely on none;
But carries on the stream of his dispose,
Without observance or respect of any,
In will peculiar and in self-admission.

Agam. Why will he not, upon our fair re. quest, Untent his person, and share the air with us? Ulyss. Things small as nothing, for request's sake only, [greatness; He makes important: Possess'd he is with And speaks not to himself, but with a pride That quarrels at self-breath: imagin'd worth Holds in his blood such swoln and hot dis

course,

That, 'twixt his mental and bis active parts,
Kingdom'd Achilles in commotion rages,
And batters down himself: What should I say?
He is so plaguy proud, that the death tokens of it
Cry-No recovery.

Agam. Let Ajax go to him.

Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent :

At your request, a little from himself.
Úlyss. O Agamemnon, let it not be so!
We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes
When they go from Achilles: shall the proud

lord,

That bastes his arrogance with his own seam, ¶
And never suffers matter of the world
Enter his thoughts,-save such as do revolve

• Attend. + Shyness. 1 Obey Fits of lunacy. Approbation. Swine-seam is hog's lard.