choose, which to esteem the best, or desire most? Alas! what is there in the world, that can fill the vast desires of my soul, but only He, who is infinitely above me and my desires too? Will riches do it? No, I may as soon undertake to fill my barns with grace, as my heart with gold, and as easily stuff my bags with virtue, as ever satisfy my desires with wealth. Do I hunt after pleasures? These may, indeed, charm and delight my brutish senses, but can never be agreeable or proportionate to my spiritual faculties. Do I grasp at honour and popularity? These, again, are as empty and unsatisfying as the former; they may make me look high and great in the eye of the world, turn my head giddy with applause, or puff up my heart with pride, but they can never fill up the measure of its desires. And thus, if I should have the whole world at command, aud could, with Alexander, wield both sword and sceptre over all the nations and languages of it, would this content me? or rather, should I not sit down, and weep with him, that I had not another world to conquer and possess? Whereas, God being an infinite good, it is impossible for me to desire any thing, which I may not enjoy in him and his mercies: let me, or any other creature, extend our desires never so far, still the graces and blessings of this infinite God will be infinitely beyond them all: insomuch that though ten thousand worlds are not able to satisfy one soul, yet one God is able to satisfy ten thousand souls; yea, and ten millions more to them, as well as if there were only one soul in all the world to satisfy. Come, therefore, my dear Lord and Saviour! 66 whilst thy servant is breathing after thee; and possess my heart with the spiritual blessings of grace and faith, peace and charity; and let none of these empty and transient delights of this world stand in competition with them! Thou art the source and centre of all my wishes and desires; even as the hart panteth after the water-brook, so panteth my soul after thee, O God!" When shall I appear in thy presence? When, when shall that blessed time come, that I shall see thy sacred majesty face to face? This is a mercy, I confess, which I cannot expect, whilst imprisoned in the body; but, howsoever, though I must not yet appear before thee, do thou vouchsafe to appear in me, and give me such glimpses of thy love and graces here, as may be an earnest of the bliss and glory I am to enjoy hereafter. RESOLUTION V. I am resolved, by the grace of God, to hope for nothing so much as the promises, and to fear nothing so much as the threatenings, of God. My soul being inflamed with holy desires after God, my heart cannot but be big with the hopes and expectations of him: and, truly, as there is nothing that I can absolutely desire, so neither is there any thing that I can assuredly hope for, and depend upon, but God himself, and the promises he has made to me in his divine word. For, as all things derive their being and subsistence from him, so they are all at his beck and command, and are acted and influenced as his wisdom and pleasure see fit to order them. All the secondary causes are in his hand, and he turns them which way soever he will: so that, howsoever improbable and disproportionate the means he uses may appear to be, he never fails to accomplish the end, or whatever he wills or decrees to be done. And, therefore, whereever I meet with any promises made over to the faithful in his sacred word (since they are the promises of one who is infinitely just and true, who can neither dissemble nor deceive) I cannot in the least doubt but they will be punctually fulfilled; and if I am of that happy number (as I trust through the merits of Christ, and my own sincere endeavours, I shall approve myself to be) I have as much assurance of being partaker of them, as if I had them actually in possession, or as any of the faithful servants of God, who have already experienced the accomplishment of them. But suppose God should not favour me with the bright part of his promises, and, instead of the blessings of health and prosperity, should visit me with crosses and afflictions; yet I have still the same grounds for my hope and confidence in him, and may say, with the Psalmist, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear what the devil or man can do unto me." For, though their spite and malice may sometimes cross, torment, afflict, and persecute me; yet, since I am assured, they are only as instruments in the hand of God, that cannot go beyond their commission, nor make me suffer more than I am able to bear, I may comfort myself, under all these afflictions, by the same divine promise that St. Paul Permit had recourse to, on the like occasion, to wit, "That all shall work together for good, to them that love God, who are the called according to his purpose." The devil could not touch the possessions of Job, till he had received a commission from God; nor could he come near his body till that commission was renewed; and so, neither can he, nor any creature whatsoever, throw any evil upon me, without the divine permission: and even that, though it seems to be evil, shall really, in the end, turn to my" benefit and advantage. O! what a sovereign antidote is this against all despondency and despair, even under the deepest and severest trials? me, O my God, to apply this sacred promise to myself, and say, I am assured of it by my own experience. For I can hardly remember any one thing that ever happened to me, in the whole course of my life, even to the crossing of my most earnest desires, and highest expectations, but what I must confess, to the praise of thy grace and goodness, has really, in the end, turned to my advantage another way. O! make me truly sensible of all thy promises to, and dealings with me, that whatever storms and surges may arise, in the tempestuous ocean of this transient world, I may still fix the anchor of my hope and happiness in thee, who art the source and spring of all blessings, and without whom no evil or calamity could ever befall me! And as the promises of God, upon all these accounts, are to be the object of my hope; so are his threatenings to be of my fear and aversion: as the former are of excellent use to raise and revive the most drooping hearts, so the latter are of weight enough to sink and depress the stoutest and most undaunted spirits, and make them lick up the dust of horror and despair. Not to mention any thing of the exquisite and eternal miseries denounced against the wicked in the next world, with which the scriptures every where abound, there is one punishment threatened to be inflicted here, which is, of itself, sufficient to do this; and that is, in Mal. ii. 2. "If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory to my name, saith the Lord of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and curse your blessings." Most dreadful sentence ! which none, that consider aright, can be able to read without trembling and astonishment. Alas! if God should curse me, where should I seek for a blessing, since he is the only fountain from which it flows, and by which it is conveyed and communicated to ine? And if he should curse my very blessings, what could I hope for but misery and despair? my health, my wealth, my preferments, my relations, nay, my very life itself, would all be accursed to me; and what is yet worse, even my spiritual exercises and performances, upon which I chiefly build my hopes of happiness, my preaching, praying, and communicating, would all become a snare and a curse to me: yea, and Christ himself, who came into the world to bless and redeem me, if I walk not in his fear, believe not his gospel, or give not glory to his name, will himself be a curse and condemnation to me. So I may say of every thing I have, or enjoy, or expect, that all these God has made curses to me, because I have not blessed and glorified him in them. O! who would not tremble |