RESOLUTION I. I am resolved, by the grace of God, to watch as much over the inward motions of my heart, as the outward actions of my life. FOR, my heart, I perceive, is the womb, in which all sin is first conceived, and from which, my Saviour tells me," proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness." So that, as ever I would prevent the commission of these sins in my life, I must endeavour to hinder their conception in my heart, following the wise man's counsel, "to keep my heart with all diligence, because out of it are the issues of life.” Neither is this the only reason, why I should set so strict a watch over my heart, because sinful thoughts lead to sinful acts; but because the thoughts themselves are sinful, yea, the very first-born of iniquity; which, though men cannot pry into or discover, yet the all-seeing God knows and observes, and remembers them, as well as the greatest actions of all my life. And O! what wicked and profane thoughts have I formerly entertained, not only against God, but against Christ, by questioning the justice of his laws, and doubting of the truth of his revelation, so as to make both his life and death of none effect to me! which, that they may never be laid to my charge hereafter, I humbly beseech God to pardon and absolve me from them, and to give me grace for the remainder of my life, to be as careful of thinking, as of doing well, and as fearful of offending him, in my heart, as of transgressing his laws in my life and To this end, conversation. RESOLUTION II. I am resolved, by the grace of God, to stop every thought, at its first entering into my heart, and to examine it whence it comes, and whither it tends. So soon as ever any new thought begins to bubble in my soul, I am resolved to examine what stamp it is of, whether it springs from the pure fountain of living waters, or the polluted streams of my own affections; as also which way it tends, or takes its course, towards the ocean of happiness, or pit of destruction. And the reason of this my resolution, I draw from the experience I have had of the devil's temptations, and the working of my own corruptions; by which I find that there is no sin I am betrayed into, but what takes its rise from my inward thoughts. These are the tempters that first present some pleasing object to my view, and then bias my understanding, and prevent my will, to comply with the suggestion. So that, though the Spirit of God is pleased to dart a beam into my heart at the same time, and show me the odious and dangerous effects of such thoughts; yet I know not how or why, I find a prevailing suggestion within, that tells me, it is but a thought, and that so long as it goes no farther, it cannot do me much hurt. Under this specious co lour and pretence, I secretly persuade myself to dwell a little longer upon it; and finding my heart pleased and delighted with its natural issue, I give it a little farther indulgence, till at last my desire breaks out into a flame, and will be satisfied with nothing less than the enjoyment of the object it is exercised upon. And what water can quench such a raging fire, as is thus kindled by the devil, and blown up by the bellows of my own inordinate affections, which the more I think of, the more I increase the flame? How nearly therefore does it concern me to take up this resolution, of setting a constant watch and guard at the door of my heart, that nothing may enter in, without a strict examination! Not as if I could examine every particular thought that arises in my heart, for by that means I could do nothing else but examine my thoughts without intermission. But this I must do, whensoever I find any thought that bears the face or appearance of sin, I must throw it aside with the utmost abhorrence; and when it comes in disguise, as the devil under Samuel's mantle, or when it is a thought I never conceived before, and know not but it may be bad, as well as good; then, before I suffer it to settle upon my spirit, I must examine as well as I can, whether it be sent from heaven or hell, and what message it comes about, and what will be the issue of it. And thus, by the divine assistance, I shall let nothing into my heart, but what will bring me nearer to my God, and set me at a greater distance from the evil and punishment of sin. Neither do I think it my duty only, to be so watchful against such thoughts as are in themselves sinful; but, RESOLUTION III. I am resolved, by the grace of God, to be as fearful to let in vain, as careful to keep out sinful thoughts. I Do not look upon vain thoughts as only tending to sin, but as in themselves sinful: for that which makes sin to be sin, is the want of conformity to the will of God; and that vain thoughts are not conformable and agreeable to the divine will, appears, in that God himself, by the mouth of his royal prophet, expressly saith, "I hate vain thoughts." Again, vain thoughts are therefore sinful, because they have in them nothing that can denominate them good; for as, in a moral sense, there is never a particular individual act, so neither is there any particular thought, but what is either good or bad, in some respect or other. There is not a moment of my life, but it is my duty either to be thinking, or speaking, or doing good; so that whensoever I am not thus employed, I come short of my duty, and, by consequence, am guilty of sin. But what are those vain thoughts I am thus resolving against? Why, all wanderings and distraction in prayer, or hearing the word of God; all useless, trifling, and impertinent thoughts, that do not belong to, nor further the work I am about, the grand affair of my salvation; may properly be called vain thoughts. And alas! what swarms of these are continually crowding into my heart? How have I thought away whole hours together, about I know not what chimeras, whereof one scarce ever depends upon another; sometimes entertaining myself with the pleasure of sense, as eating and drinking, and such like earthly enjoyments; sometimes building castles in the air, and climbing up to the pinnacle of wealth and honour, which I am not half way got up to, but down I fall again into a fool's paradise? Or, if I chance, at any time, to think a good while upon one thing, it is just to as much purpose as the man's thoughts were, whom I have sometimes heard of and smiled at, who having an egg in his hand, by a sort of chimerical climax, improved it into an estate; but while he was thus pleasing himself with these imaginary products, down drops the egg, and all his hens, and cattle, and house, and lands, that he had raised from it, vanished in the fall. These, and such like, are vain thoughts, that I must, for the future, endeavour to avoid; and though it will be impossible for me wholly to prevent their first entering into my mind, yet I resolve, by the grace of God, not to harbour or dwell upon, or delight myself with them. And then, notwithstanding they are, in some sense sinful, yet they will not be imputed to me as such, provided I use my utmost endeavours to avoid them. Which that I may be the better able to do, |