Shal. Well, fare you well.-We shall have the freer wooing at Master Page's.

[Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER. Caius. Go home, John Rugabie; I come anon. [Exit RUGBY. Host. Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink Canary with him. [Exit Host. Ford. [Aside.] I think I shall drink in pipewine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

All. Have with you, to see this monster.

[Exeunt.

Mrs. Ford. I warrant.-What, Robin, I say! Enter Servants with a large Basket. Mrs. Page. Come, come, come. Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down. Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge: we must be brief.

Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (without any pause, or staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames side.

Mrs. Page. You will do it?

Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction. Be gone, and come when you are call'd. Exeunt Servants.

Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin.

Enter ROBIN.

Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you?

Rob. My master, Sir John, is come in at your back door, Mistress Ford, and requests your company.

Mrs. Page. You little Jack-o'-Lent, have you been true to us?

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: my master knows not of your being here; and hath threaten'd to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it, for he swears he'll turn me away.

Mrs. Page. Thou'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose.-I'll go hide me. Mrs. Ford. Do so.-Go tell thy master I am alone. Mistress Page, remember you your cue. [Exit ROBIN. Mrs. Page. I warrant thee: if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Go to, then: we'll use this gross watery pumpion;-we'll teach him to know turtles from jays.

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. "Have I caught" thee, "my heavenly jewel?" Why, now let me die, for I have liv'd long enough: this is the period of my ambition. O this blessed hour!

Mrs. Ford. O, sweet Sir John!

Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish I would thy husband were dead, I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady. Mrs. Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady.

Fal. Let the Court of France show me such another. I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tirevaliant, or any tire of Venetian admittance.

Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither. Fal. Thou art a tyrant to say so: thou would'st make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not,-Nature thy friend: come, thou canst not hide it.

Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in me.

Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee there's something extraordinary in thee. Come; I cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple time: I cannot; but I love thee, none but thee, and thou deservest it.

Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir. I fear, you love Mistress Page.

Fal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk by the Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs. Ford. Well, Heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do, or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [Within.] Mistress Ford! Mistress Ford! here's Mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me. I will ensconce me behind the arras.

Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so she's a very tattling woman.- [FALSTAFF hides himself.

Enter Mistress PAGE and ROBIN. What's the matter? how now!

Mrs. Page. O Mistress Ford? what have you done? You're sham'd, you're overthrown, you're undone for ever. Page?

Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good Mistress Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, Mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion? Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion?-Out upon you! how am I mistook in you!

Mrs. Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? Mrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence. You are undone.

Mrs. Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs. Page. 'Pray Heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one: I come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amaz'd; call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house.

Mrs. Page. For shame! never stand you "had rather," and you "had rather :" your husband's

Ford. I cannot find him: may be, the knave bragg'd of that he could not compass. Mrs. Page. Heard you that?

Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?

FALSTAFF comes out.

Fal. Let me see 't, let me see 't! O, let me see 't! I'll in, I'll in.-Follow your friend's counsel.I'll in. [your letters, knight? Mrs. Page. What! Sir John Falstaff! Are these Fal. I love thee: help me away; let me creep in here; I'll never

[He gets into the basket; and they cover him with foul linen.

Mrs. Page. Help to cover your master, boy. Call your men, Mistress Ford.-You dissembling knight!

Mrs. Ford. What, John! Robert! John! [Exit ROBIN. Enter Servants.] Go, take up these clothes here, quickly; where's the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble: carry them to the laundress in Datchet mead; quickly, come.

Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS. Ford. 'Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why, then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve it.-How now! whither bear you this?

Servant. To the laundress, forsooth.

Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buckwashing!

Ford. Buck! I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck, and of the season, too, it shall appear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dream'd to-night: I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out: I'll warrant, we'll unkennel the fox.-Let me stop this way first:-so, now uncape.

Page. Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Ford. True, Master Page.-Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is ferry fantastical humours, and jealousies. [is not jealous in France. Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France: it Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen: see the issue of his search. [Exeunt PAGE, EVANS, and CAIUS. Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in

this?

Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceiv'd, or Sir John.

Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband ask'd what was in the basket! Mrs. Ford. Throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress. Mrs. Ford. I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here, for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine. Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment.

Mrs. Page. We'll do it: let him be sent for to-morrow eight o'clock, to have amends.

[you?

Mrs. Ford. You use me well, Master Ford, do Ford. Ay, I do so.

Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts! Ford. Amen.

[Master Ford. Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, Heaven forgive my sins!

Caius. By gar, nor I too: dere is no bodies. Page. Fie, fie, Master Ford! are you not ashamed? What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. 'Tis my fault, Master Page: Isuffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a 'omans as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well; I promis'd you a dinner.-Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; done this.-Come, wife;-come, Mistress Page; I will hereafter make known to you why I have I pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me. Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a birding together: I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so?

Ford. Any thing.

[company. Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the Ford. Pray you go, Master Page.

Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the knave, mine Host

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A knave! to have his gibes, and his mockeries. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A Room in PAGE's House.

Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE. Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore, no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. Anne. Alas! how then! Fent.

Why, thou must be thyself. He doth object, I am too great of birth, And that my state being gall'd with my expense, I seek to heal it only by his wealth. Besides these, other bars he lays before me,My riots past, my wild societies; And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible I should love thee, but as a property. Anne. May be, he tells you true. Fent. No, Heaven so speed me in my time to Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags; And 'tis the very riches of thyself That now I aim at.

[come!

Anne. Gentle Master Fenton, Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, sir: If opportunity and humblest suit Cannot attain it, why then,-Hark you hither. [They converse apart. Enter SHallow, Slender, and Mrs. QUICKLY.

Shal. Break their talk, Mistress Quickly; my kinsman shall speak for himself.

Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't. 'Slid, 'tis but venturing.

Shal. Be not dismay'd.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

Quick. Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a word with you. [choice. Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's O! what a world of vile ill-favor'd faults Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year! Quick. And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy! thou

hadst a father.

Slen. I had a father, Mistress Anne: my uncle can tell you good jests of him.-Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a 'squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty [himself. pounds jointure.

Anne. Good Master Shallow, let him woo for Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Anne. Now, Master Slender.
Slen. Now, good Mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? od's heartlings! that's a pretty jest, indeed. I ne'er made my will yet, I thank Heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give Heaven praise. [with me? Anne. I mean, Master Slender, what would you Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you. Your father, and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter PAGE and Mistress PAGE.

Page. Now, Master Slender!-Love him, daughter Anne.

Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here? You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house : I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.

Fent. Nay, Master Page, be not impatient. Mrs. Page. Good Master Fenton, come not to Page. She is no match for you. [my child. Fent. Sir, will you hear me? Page. No, good Master Fenton.Come, Master Shallow;-come, son Slender; in.Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton. [Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Quick. Speak to Mistress Page. [daughter Fent. Good Mistress Page, for that I love your In such a righteous fashion as I do, [ners, Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manI must advance the colours of my love, And not retire: let me have your good will. [fool. Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.

Quick. That's my master, Master Doctor.
Anne. Alas! I had rather be set quick i' th'
And bowl'd to death with turnips. [earth,
Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself. Good
Master Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected.
"Till then, farewell, sir: she must needs go in;
Her father will be angry.

[Exeunt Mrs. PAGE and ANNE.

Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress.-Farewell, Nan.

Quick. This is my doing, now.-Nay, said I, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? look on Master Fenton. This is my doing. Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to

night

Give my sweet Nan this ring. There's for thy
pains.
[Exit.
Quick. Now, Heaven send thee good fortune!
A kind heart he hath: a woman would run
through fire and water for such a kind heart.
But yet I would my master had Mistress Anne;
or I would Master Slender had her; or, in sooth,
I would Master Fenton had her. I will do what
I can for them all three, for so I have promis'd,
and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously
for Master Fenton. Well, I must of another
errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mis-
tresses: what a beast am I to slack it! [Exit.

SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH.
Fal. Bardolph, I say!
Bard. Here, sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit BARD.] Have I liv'd to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the Thames? Well, if I be serv'd such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drown'd blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter; and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking: if the bottom were ever so deep, I should down. I had been drown'd, but that the shore was shelvy and shallow,-a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been when I had been swell'd! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Enter BARDOLPH with the wine.

Bard. Here's Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my inside's as cold as if I had swallow'd snow-balls. Call her in. Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.

Quick. By your leave.-I cry you mercy : give your worship good-morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of sack finely.-[Exit BARDOLPH.]— How now?

Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford.

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection. woman's promise.

Fal. So did I mine,-to build upon a foolish Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding: she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid her think what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit. Quick. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou?

E..

Ford. Bless you, sir. Fal. Now, Master Brook; you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford's wife? Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you. I was at her house the hour she appointed me. Ford. And [how] sped you, sir?

Fal. Very ill-favouredly, Master Brook. Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her determination?

Fal. No, Master Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kiss'd, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife's love.

[find you?

Ford. What! while you were there? Fal. While I was there. Ford. And did he search for you, and could not Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one Mistress Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach; and by her invention and Ford's wife's distraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket: ramm'd me in with foul shirts and socks, foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, Master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have suffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door, who ask'd them once or twice what they had in their basket. I quak'd for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have search'd it; but Fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous bell-wether: next, to be compass'd, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes: think of that,-a man of my kidney,-think of that; that an as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that, hissing hot,-think of that, Master Brook. Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffer'd all this. My suit, then, is desperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a

birding: I have received from her another embassy of meeting; twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her: adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook; Master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford. Hum: ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, Master Ford! there's a hole made in your best coat, Master Ford. This 'tis to be married: this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets.-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should: he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box; but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, Í will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make me mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn mad. [Exit.

Act Fourth.

SCENE I.-The Street.

Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. QUICKLY, and WILLIAM, Mrs. Page. Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou ?

Quick. Sure, he is by this, or will be presently; but truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by: I'll but bring my young man here to school. Look, where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?
Eva. No; Master Slender is let the boys leave
Quick. Blessing of his heart!
[to play.

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son profits nothing in the world at his book: I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence. Eva. Come hither, William : hold up your head; come.

Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah: hold up your head; answer your master; be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns ? Will Two.

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say, od's nouns. Eva. Peace your tattlings-What is fair, Will. Pulcher. [William? Quick. Pole-cats! there are fairer things than pole-cats, sure.

Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you, peace.-What is lapis, William? Will. A stone.

Eva. And what is a stone, William ?
Will. A pebble.

[your prain. Eva. No, it is lapis: I pray you remember in Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is good, William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog;-pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your acWill. Accusativo, hinc. [cusative case?

Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive,―horum, harum, horum. Quick. Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! -Never name her, child, if she be a whore. Eva. For shame, 'oman!

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words. -He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum,-fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish creatures as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee hold thy peace. Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is qui, quæ, quod; if you forget your quis, your ques, and your quods, you must pe preeches. * Go your ways, and play ; go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Eva. He is a good sprag+ memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [Exit Sir HUGH.] Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.A Room in FORD'S House. Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. FORD. Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance. I see, you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, Mrs. Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now?

Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet Sir John. Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa! gossip Ford! what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into th' chamber, Sir John. [Erit FALSTAFF.

Enter Mrs. PAGE.

Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart! who's at home besides yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people. Mrs. Page. Indeed?

Mrs. Ford. No, certainly. - [ Whispering.] Speak louder.

Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him? Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the last time he search'd for him, in a basket; protests to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs. Ford. How near is he, Mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end: he will be here anon.

Mrs. Ford. I am undone! the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why, then you are utterly sham'd, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you! – Away with him, away with him: better shame than murder.

Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I not go out ere he come?

Mrs. Page. Alas! three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it?

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there, on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.

Fal. I'll go out, then.

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguis'd,Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him?

Mrs. Page. Alas the day! I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs. Page. On my word it will serve him; she's as big as he is: and there's her thrumb'd hat, and her muffler too.-Run up, Sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will look some linen for your head. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick: we'll come dress you straight; put on the gown the while.

[Exit FALSTAFF.

Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears she's a witch, forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel, and the Devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket, too, howsoever he hath had

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the Witch of Brentford. Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men what they

+ Mad fits.