SCENE IV.

Changes to a Bedchamber in the Lord's Houfe.

Enter Sly with Attendants, fome with apparel, bafon and ewer, and other appurtenances. Re-enter Lord.

Sly. OR God's fake, a pot of small ale.

Sly. E
FOR

1 Serv. Will't pleafe your Lordship drink a cup of fack?

2 Serv. Will't please your Honour taste of these

3

Conferves?

Serv. What raiment will your Honour wear today?

Sly. I am Chriftophero Sly, call not me Honour, nor Lordfhip: I ne'er drank fack in my life and if you give me any Conferves, give me Conferves of beef. Ne'er afk me what raiment I'll wear, for I have no more doublets than backs, no more ftockings than legs, nor no more fhoes than feet; nay, fometimes, more feet than fhoes; or fuch fhoes as my toes look through the over-leather.

Lord. Heav'n ceafe this idle humour in your Ho

nour!

Oh, that a mighty man of fuch descent,
Of fuch poffeflions, and fo high esteem,
Should be infused with fo foul a fpirit!

Sly. What, would you make me mad? am not I Christophero Sly, old Sly's Son of Burton-heath, by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by tranfmutation a bearherd, and now by prefent profeffion a tinker? afk Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not; if fhe fay, I am not fourteen pence on the score for fheer ale, fcore me up for the lying'ft knave in Christendom. What, I am not beftraught:

here's

Man. Oh, this it is that makes your lady mourn. 2 Man. Oh, this it is that makes your fervants droop.

Lord. Hence comes it, that your kindred fhun your house.

As beaten hence by your ftrange lunacy.

Oh, noble Lord, bethink thee of thy birth,
Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment,
And banish hence thefe abject lowly dreams.
Look, how thy fervants do attend on thee;
Each in his office ready at thy beck.

Wilt thou have mufick? hark, Apollo plays ; [Mufick.
And twenty caged nightingales do fing.

Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch,
Softer and sweeter than the luftful bed

On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis.

Say, thou wilt walk, we will beftrow the ground:
Or wilt thou ride? thy horfes fhall be trapp'd,
Their harness ftudded all with gold and pearl.
Doft thou love hawking? thou haft hawks, will foar
Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt?
Thy hounds fhall make the welkin answer them,
And fetch fhrill echoes from the hollow earth.

1 Man. Say, thou wilt courfe, thy greyhounds are as swift

As breathed ftags; ay, fleeter than the roe.

2 Man. Doft thou love pictures? we will fetch thee ftrait

Adonis, painted by a running brook;

And Citherea all in fedges hid;

Which feem to move and wanton with her breath,

Ev'n as the waving fedges play with wind.

Lord. We'll fhew thee Io, as she was a maid,

And how she was beguiled and furpris'd,

As lively painted as the deed was done.

3 Man. Or Daphne roaming through a thorny

wood,

Scratching her legs, that one fhall fwear fhe bleeds:

And

And at that fight fhall fad Apollo weep:

So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.
Lord. Thou art a Lord, and nothing but a Lord:
Thou haft a lady far more beautiful

Than any woman in this waining age.

1 Man. And 'till the tears, that fhe hath fhed for thee,

Like envious floods, o'er-ran her lovely face,
She was the faireft creature in the world,
And yet fhe is inferior to none.

Sly. Am I a Lord, and have I such a Lady?
Or do I dream? or have I dream'd 'till now?
I do not fleep; I fee, I hear, I fpeak;
I fmell fweet favours, and I feel foft things:
Upon my life, I am a Lord, indeed;
And not a Tinker, nor Christophero Sly.
Well, bring our Lady hither to our fight,
And once again, a pot o'th' fmallest ale.

2 Man. Will't please your Mightiness to wash your hands?

Oh, how we joy to fee your wits restor❜d!

Oh, that once more you knew but what you are!
These fifteen years you have been in a dream,
Or, when you wak'd, fo wak'd as if you slept.
Sly. These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap:
But did I never speak of all that time?

1 Man. Oh, yes, my Lord, but very idle words.
For tho' you lay here in this goodly chamber,
Yet would you fay, ye were beaten out of door,
And rail'd upon the Hoftefs of the house;
And fay, you would prefent her at the * Leet,
Because the bought ftone-jugs, and no feal'd quarts;
Sometimes, you would call out for Cicely Hacket.
Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house.

3 Man. Why, Sir, you know no house; nor no fuch maid;

Nor no fuch men, as you have reckon'd up;

Leet,] At the Court leet, or courts of the manor.

As

As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,
And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell,

And twenty more fuch names and men as thefe,
Which never were, nor no man ever saw.

Sly. Now Lord be thanked for my good amends!
All. Amen.

Sly. By th' Mass, I think I am a Lord indeed.
What is thy name?

Man. Sim, an't please your Honour.

Sly. Sim? that's as much as to fay, Simeon or Simon ; put forth thy hand and fill the pot.

[The fervant gives him drink.

I thank thee;

thou shalt not lose by it.

Lady. How fares my noble Lord?

Sly. Marry, I fare well, for here is cheer enough. Where's my wife?

Lady. Here, noble Lord, what is thy will with her? Sly. Are you my wife, and will not call me hufband?

My men fhould call me Lord, I am your good man. Lady. My husband and my Lord, my Lord and husband;

I am your wife in all obedience.

Sly. I know it well: what must I call her?

Lord. Madam.

Sly. Alce madam, or Joan madam?

Lord. Madam, and nothing elfe, fo lords call la

[dies. Sly. Come, fit down on my knee. Sim, drink to her. Madam wife, they fay, that I have dream'd, and slept above some fifteen years and more.

Lady. Ay, and the time feems thirty unto me, Being all this time abandon'd from your bed.

Sly. 'Tis much.--Servants, leave me and her alone.Madam, undress you, and come now to bed-Sim, drink to her.

Lady. Thrice-noble Lord, let me entreat of you,
To pardon me yet for a night or two.
Or, if not fo, until the fun be fet;
For your Physicians have exprefly charg'd,
In peril to incur your former malady,
That I fhould yet abfent me from your bed.
I hope, this reafon ftands for my excufe.

Sly. Ay, it ftands fo, that I may hardly tarry fo long; but I would be loath to fall into my dream again: I will therefore tarry in defpight of the flesh and the blood.

SCENE

Enter a Messenger.

VI.

Meff. Your Honour's Players, hearing your amend

ment,

Are come to play a pleasant Comedy;

For fo your Doctors hold it very meet,

Seeing too much fadnefs hath congeal'd your blood;
And melancholy is the nurfe of frenzy.

Therefore, they thought it good you hear a play,
And frame your mind to mirth and merriment;
Which bars a thoufand harms, and lengthens life.

Sly. Marry, I will; let them play; is it not a Commodity? a Christmas gambol, or a tumbling trick? Lady. No, my good Lord, it is more pleasing stuff. Sly. What, houfhold ftuff?

Lady. It is a kind of hiftory.

Sly. Well, we'll fee't: come, Madam wife, fit by my fide, and let the world flip, we fhall ne'er be younger.

THE