from your situation I should be doubtful whether it be proper for you either; this is a very trying month. May the Lord direct you! and whether at home or abroad, may he enliven and refresh you with the smiles of his reconciled countenance.

I have hopes that the Lord has heard my repeated cries to him for a proper teacher. When I have more time and health, will give you particulars. Fear not, all will be well. So hopes, so believes, so prays, my dear daughter, Your ever affectionate parent in the Lord, D.M.

LETTER XXXIII.

TO LADY H. HOPE.

March 29, 1782.

My last was sealed and sent to town before your servant called. I see by your short letter that you are in heaviness through manifold temptations. As to your apprehensions about Lady G, I believe it is a device of satan to distress you, and think you should strive against it.* But as nothing happens to the children of God, whether joyous or grievous, but from which he means they should reap benefit; it might turn out to your spiritual advantage if you would carry it frequently to the Lord, and endeavour to plead earnestly that the end he has in view, by permitting it, may

* A fear that her friend was about to be removed by death.

be fully answered. This might be the means of your obtaining entire victory, if it be a temptation and supposing the worst, still this is the best way to get the mind comforted, fortified, and sweetly reconciled to the Divine will. O what cannot the power of grace effect in the human heart? It can make us even rejoice to give up our Isaacs, when called to it. Believe this firmly, and then you will so trust in the Lord as not to be afraid of evil tidings; your heart will be fixed. We should be much aware of anticipating evil, it is fraught with many hurtful consequences; it embitters present enjoyments; it weakens faith, love, trust; it grieves the Holy Spirit, nourishes unbelief, and leads to discontent. Do you not remember how strongly you were tempted, some years ago, to believe your own death was at hand: the impression, you said, was strong, but you saw afterwards that it was only temptation. If we have a friend that we can trust, it is of great use to mention our temptations; this is often, by the blessing of the Lord, made the means of breaking their power. I know this by experience. May you prove it so at preYour affectionate parent, D. M.

sent!

The following Extracts from the DIARY will enable the reader to form a proper estimate of the state of her Ladyship's mind and heart at the close of this year.

"September 25. In the course of these last two

weeks I have felt variously. I have, at times, had seasons of refreshing; sweet proofs that God is the hearer of prayer. I have had strong desires after entire devotedness of heart and life to God; have been drawn out to plead for the full accomplishment of the promises in my own soul, with much longing for that happy time; and have waited for it with a degree of fainting, because so long deferred. I have thought, surely the promises of a faithful God cannot fail; yet, wherefore is it so long before he appears in my behalf. I have feared lest I had any sinful hand in it, and have been grieved, because I seem to live to so little purpose; doing so little for God, for others, or for myself. I have hoped that every returning day would have made a happy change. I have been happy when any opportunity was put in my power of doing good, and rejoiced as one that found great spoil: though even herein, upon a strict scrutiny, I have been very unfaithful. In short, I am a mystery to myself; and were it not that I have the express promise of a faithful God, on which to depend for a great increase in my own soul, and for an enlarged sphere of usefulness, I should almost despair of things being better with me than they are at present. But surely the heavens and the earth shall sooner fail, than one word that he hath spoken fall to the ground. Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.

October 11. Still I have much cause to say, my leanness, my leanness." Yet, I must also

say, I have much cause to record the loving-kindness of the Lord. Since my last date, my visits from on high have been more frequent. I have felt more sweetness flowing from a sense of the presence of Christ, who has been very near and precious. O, were he always thus with me, my heaven, in one sense, would be complete! He is my all in all. The Lord has greatly enlarged my sphere of usefulness in a way I did not expect ; and at first I felt a degree of reluctance, fearing my unfaithfulness: but I am now sweetly reconciled to it, and have cause to praise the Lord, who has strengthened me to do what he called me to, and what I feared. O for a grateful heart! He gives me also to feel, in the present case, that the way of duty is the way not only of safety, but of comfort and strength. He does all things well. He has laid his hand gently upon my body, and again removed the rod, and disappointed my fears. He has also refreshed my spirits by good accounts from afar; from a very particular friend, who, I hope, has been his mouth to me. Lord, thou knowest I would not willingly mistake the way in which thou wouldst have me to walk. I look to thee to confirm this matter to me, that I may rest assured I am doing what is well pleasing to thee. I have this day, (Friday) as usual, renewed my engagements to be the Lord's; though not with all that life and joy I aim at, yet with more sweetness than usual. I feel strong desires to live up to them, to the very utmost; and this for the sake of others, as

well as myself. Lord, do thou enable me to be faithful.

25. Still, because my God is good, I experience, in a measure, his loving-kindness, In the course of these two weeks he has been gracious to me in various ways: he has carried me through trials; strengthened me for doing and suffering his will; made me feel more profit and comfort from the word preached than for some time before; given me to experience more emptiness in the creature than usual; and also made me willing it should be so, if he saw meet; provided I might enjoy a proportionable sweetness in himself. He has strengthened my body to undergo more fatigue than usual, without being hurt by it. He has made me also to feel how good it is for me to make all my wants known to him by prayer; with all my hopes, fears, and desires; for I keep nothing from my God. He more and more leads me in this way, and I praise him for it. O the privilege of prayer! He also tenderly warns me when danger is near, and causes me to cry to himself.

November 9. I again take up my pen to testify of the goodness of my God. Since my last date he has given refreshing seasons; sometimes in public, sometimes in secret, and sensibly assisted me in family duties. He has permitted me to be brought into many difficulties, in order to shew his power in supporting me under them, and his goodness in delivering me from them. I have met with most unexpected trials within these two