1808-10.

Diary concluded-Lady Maxwell's last Illness and Death-Letter on, by the Honourable Miss Na/pier-Inscription on Monumental Tablet.

March 19. On last Lord's-day, I enjoyed the great privilege of being not only in the house of God, but of being richly fed with spiritual food, while there, from these words: "Lord, I am thine, save me; I have sought thy precepts." It is impossible for me to say how exquisite was my enjoyment of the whole Deity, during this discourse. I was favoured with uncommon fellowship and nearness to the Sacred Three : but eternity alone can fully unfold and define what the Christian feels on these wonderful and blessed occasions. Meditating upon it, brings back in some measure a renewal of it. O my God, let me prove in some degree its transforming nature. Yesterday, (Thursday,) I was again favoured with the presence of the Holy Trinity in our little meeting; but not in such a high degree: my comfort was rather damped by the weight of a very unexpected trial in the morning; but he who afflicteth not willingly, soon lightened the load. Blessed Lord, how tenderly dost thou deal with thy children.

June 16. GOD IS LOVE. O how great his goodness. Since the ninth instant he has, in much mercy, increased his love in my heart. He favoured me with the great privilege of entering his house last Lord's-day, when he made much of his goodness to pass before me; greatly more than I had reason to expect. I was fed with marrow and fatness. Intimate fellowship and communion with Father, Son, and Spirit. I felt as in the immediate presence of Deity. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. On Thursday, during our meeting, as soon as I bowed my knees, looked up to the Father of Mercies, and inwardly pleaded for much of the Divine presence; the Sacred Three drew nigh; a solemn Divine awe overspread my mind; all within deeply felt, "God is here." It was indeed a memorable season. O my God, hasten the time when it shall always be so, and when every such visit from on high shall greatly increase holiness of heart and life, and, of consequence, greater intercourse with heaven. This is what my soul hungers and thirsts after.

September 10. Since the 26th of August, I have felt variously. I have been favoured, at times, with precious visits from above: my best times are in the house of my God; and, on Thursdays, at home, in secret prayer and meditation; likewise, in conversing on the things of God, with strong desires for the eternal welfare of others. O to be faithful and successful! On these

occasions I find an earnest desire, and this proves a strong stimulus to speak. By nature I am rather shy; but I find, in general, I obtain such assistance from on high, when thus employed, that conquers nature, and procures additional comfort to my own soul. Last Lord's-day I had an opportunity of remembering the dying love of my adorable Saviour, which was a time of refreshing. I felt ashamed and grieved that I did not feel my heart overflowing with grateful love to him, who had done so much for me: but O the riches of free grace! in a moment the whole Deity drew near: I felt surrounded, yea encircled in the Divine arms; I was lost in sacred astonishment and love. The whole powers of my soul were arrested, and a holy awe pervaded my mind, while I seemed to sink into Jehovah, and felt lost in his immensity. O adorable Saviour, how infinite the blessings thou hast purchased even for the fallen race of Adam! Why is not my poor heart every moment burning with the sacred fire of Divine love and gratitude to thee? I lose myself, and into nothing fall before thee. O compassionate thy poor creature! Enlarge my receptive powers, and keep them continually on the stretch.

December 31. Since the 22d of October, in general, my experience of Divine things has not been so rich as before that period. My health has been impaired, and my confinement more than usual: yet, my God has been good; allowed me many precious seasons in public, private, and

secret. My heart has been much drawn out to assist the poor, and to alleviate every species of distress among my fellow-creatures in these trying times, more especially the religious poor. Lord, increase my ability! Thou hast given me a willing heart.

January 7, 1809. The God of all grace and consolation has lengthened out my life another year, and in the course of twelve months past, has given me much cause to praise him for his goodness to my soul; for almost continual fellowship with the whole Deity, still superior to what he allowed me in the former year, though that was also great. I have enjoyed an increase of sacred awe, solemn serenity, holy liberty, and inexpressible purity of happiness. I would almost say, similar to what the blessed above enjoy. O my God, how do I sink in my own eyes when I consider my poverty of returns for all this profusion of goodness. I am lost in amazement, that thou hast so long borne with me; but the cause is, thou art God, whose tender mercies are over all thy works, and Jesus hath died, the great propitiation for sin. Blessed God, for his sake grant me more power to love and serve thee.

July 21. Still my God appears in my behalf. One day this week, I felt rather a degree of unwillingness to do what I had some small reason to think was the will of God. I hesitated, and asked the Lord to lead me into his will. In a few minutes, my God appeared in my behalf, and gave me a sweet persuasion, that if asked agree

ably to my present light, he would soon interpose in a way that would fully satisfy me as to the business in hand. This soon determined me to go forward with cheerfulness; and O, how soon did my God, who is ever faithful, answer for himself. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his Holy Name." Surely it is good for me to trust in Jehovah. O my Heavenly Father, strengthen my faith, and enable me to go forward with greater speed. And if it is thy holy will, enlarge my temporal borders, that I may be more able to help the poor and the friendless, especially thy people. Thou hast given me a heart from my youth thus disposed. O give increasing power; and, O Lord, give thy richest blessing to my week-day charity-school, in Edinburgh. I have reason to believe that thou didst direct to it, when I asked of thee to shew me what I could do for thy cause. It has been opened a good many years, and about eight hundred children, boys and girls, have been taught, by various teachers, every branch of education proper for their line of life, and every possible attempt used to secure the salvation of their immortal souls. Blessed Lord, command thy blessing, and then real good shall be done.

October 7. Still far behind, and deeply conscious of it; yet my God is good. On Sunday last he exceeded my expectations, for which I felt grateful. But when, Lord, wilt thou satisfy the longing desires of my soul. O hasten the happy time when I shall feel all that conformity VOL. II.

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