CHAPTER V.

Applies for license to preach the Gospel.-First disappointment in respect to this object.--Second disappointment.--Third disappointment. -Subsequent feelings and deportment.-Fruit of his labor in the circle of his relations.--Receives license to preach.

MR. Hallock, having now pursued preparatory study, nearly four years, resolved to apply for license to preach the Gospel. Ardor of piety prompted him onward, as it has many other valuable ministers, without the advantages of a public education. While, however, his attainments in science and literature were quite limited, his knowledge of his great text-book, the Bible, in its various and high practical bearings on a world lying in sin and ruin, was not deficient. From the time of his conversion, he had made this holy volume, as we have seen, his diligent and prayerful study. If he could not, with some theological students, bring to the investigation of Scripture a knowledge of different languages, and the acuteness of mere criticism on words and phrases, he had the advantage of most, in that childlike simplicity with which he took God's plain declarations. He loved to sit at Jesus' feet; and his faith could there receive with joy, what his reason failed to comprehend. The uprightness of his heart, which gave him a high relish for divine truth, was in fact, a sort of moral test; and a far safer test, no doubt, than the widest range of learning and the best rules of biblical criticism, with a heart at enmity with God.

Seldom has the world seen so fine an il

lustration of our Savior's words; "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." Few men could quote, at pleasure, from every part of the Bible, with so much ease and aptness. In subsequent life, he was indeed mighty in the Scriptures.

These remarks can furnish no solid objection to high intellectual culture, as one important qualification for the Christian ministry. They show rather, in connexion with the rare usefulness of Mr. Hallock, how much, devoted piety with industry and perseverance, may accomplish without it.

But, the great disadvantages of a limited education, of which he himself was not insensible, were still farther relieved, in his case, by an uncommon share of good sense, prudence and practical wisdom. No man could despise him. His excellence of judgment, his moral dignity, his decision of character, commanded universal respect. The deep feeling also, and the sincerity which were ever manifest, in his looks, his conversation, his prayers, his preaching, his whole intercourse with men and with God, went far to give him that weight of influence which he possessed among all classes of society, and especially in the church of Christ.

Yet, it seems to be a principle in the government which God exercises over this world of sinners, that humility should go before honor-severe trial before marked success. He who prepared Moses for his station, by a forty years' discipline on the mountains of Midian, and David for his throne by the persecution of Saul, did not allow Mr. Hallock to enter upon

the work, in which he foresaw his future eminence and usefulness, until he had first put to a severe test his faith and patience. This will sufficiently appear, in the selections which constitute the present chap

ter.

"Jan. 5, 1784. Not without some life in prayer. Expect, to-morrow, if the Lord will, to be examined, as to my qualifications for preaching the Gospel. O Lord, I am very unfit-O that thou wouldst sanctify me for so great a work.

"Jan. 6. Rather gloomy in mind, this morning. It being stormy, I expect not to attend the Association. I have a great desire to go; from what end, O Lord, thou knowest. Many times, clouds surround the kind providences of Jehovah-I am sure it will be for the good of his kingdom, and this I profess to seek. Then I ought to rejoice; and to the wisdom of my Lord and Master commit all that I have or desire; and, sweetly as babes sleep, submit all to his direction. O that this might humble me -trust I feel a degree of resignation-O Lord, search my heart.

"The weather now appears more favorable. Mr. West advises me to go without him. Lord, wilt thou go with me..

"Rode to Egremont-rainy-the road bad-no one came to the Association but Rev. Mr. Avery. I told them my errand, but they could not proceed to examine me. They treated me with much kindness. Trust, I felt in some degree willing that God should govern.

"Jan. 7. Rode home and dined with Mr. Avery.

We had a few small potatoes boiled, with a piece of salt pork, but no bread, and not a word of complaint. Neither did they appear mortified, but pleasant and agreeable. I have considered this, one of the most agreeable dinners of my life. When I shall be examined now, I know not. O Lord, may I enjoy thy presence, and it shall be enough.

"Jan. 8. Set apart this day for prayer and meditation; to humble myself before the Lord, and to notice the dealings of his providence. Though a great want of spiritual life, yet I trust it has been profitable.

"Jan. 14. Set apart this day for fasting and prayer. O Lord, be pleased to grant the assistance of thy Holy Spirit.

"Some spiritual life. O may I improve, under all my advantages.

"Jan. 19. Have been much concerned, even to sin, for fear something would occur to prevent my examination. I have, for some end, an earnest desire to enter the work of the ministry. This is to me a gloomy day, as there is a terrible storm of snow from the northeast, and as Mr. West has been so kind as to call a special meeting of the Association, to-morrow, at his own cost, with a view to my examination. I find I can see more of my wicked heart in one day of adversity, than in a thousand days when things go according to my mind. O Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth, may this dispensation of thy providence humble me, and what I have seen of my wicked heart bring me low at thy feet forever.

"Jan. 20. The wished-for-day is past, when I

hoped to be examined and approbated, as a candidate for the Gospel ministry. But God saw otherwise, and blessed be his name. The season was so severe that not one minister attended. I see now no prospect of my examination, if I should live, until April, the usual time for the Association to meet. O Lord, thou canst open a door sooner, if thou seest it best; but if not till the end of these eleven long weeks, nor then, thy will be done. I think my studies delightsome, but I long to come forward. I saw others in trouble, to-day, as well as myself-was at a house where one of the dear children was deaddiscoursed with the afflicted parents, and prayed with them-had some freedom. I have great reason to bless God for his mercies,-that I am well and enjoy uncommon serenity of mind. The hundred and nineteenth Psalm, last part, has been pleasant.

Ex

"Jan. 21. Dark and gloomy, this morning. pect to set out, to-morrow, for home. O Lord, may this disappointment work for my good. One thing which has tried me much, and greatly increased my doubts in respect to duty, is this: Mrs. P―, in whom I put great confidence, seems to think, that the providential embarrassments I have had, in regard to my examination, are the voice of God against She says, she should rather advise me, as her son, to go home, and think no more of preaching the Gospel. It appears, however, to me, that it would be unsafe to make trials, in these things, our guide; and that adverse providences may be to try the faith of God's people, as in the case of Job.

me.

"Feb. 3. By Mr. West's advice, I offered myself