what was right to be done in the case, and how, and when, rather than to find out what could be contrived or thought of, by my own skill and management. There ought to have been more of that simple reliance and dependence, that trust and confidence, which is the beha viour and feeling of a babe towards its mother; how quiet, how calm it slumbers in her arms,— how safe and happy it is whilst there. My soul, take heed, lest after having experienced mar vellous deliverances,-after having been, like the Israelites of old, led in the day-time "with a cloud, and all the night with a light of fire,”after having been fed as with manna in the wilderness, and thy thirst quenched with water as from the rock,-take heed lest after all that has been done for thee, thou shouldst, through un. watchfulness or unbelief, in the least degree doubt the strength of that hand that upholds thee, the depth of that wisdom which is directing thee, the providence of that eye which slumbers not, the extent or continuance of that love, from which nothing but sin can disengage thee.

think or say, be assured, that the Christian's path through this state of being to a better, is no other than that which it has always been, and will ever be; as it is said, "we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom." The path for thee and me, as well as for all, is not such as the flesh could wish, it is indeed a narrow path, too narrow for sense and self to walk in; there is in it but just room and that is all: it is not wide enough for us to pass pleasantly along with singing and with mirth; but may rather be compared to those narrow defiles between the snow-topped Alps, through which the traveller is directed to pass quickly, without trifling, without delay, and in silence, lest the huge masses above him, or the parts on which he stands, should in a moment consign him to destruction. If this be true, then, how very much occasion is there for us both to lay aside every weight, every thing that is likely to entangle, to ensnare, or to impede, in the race that is set before us. Is it not the case that we are less disposed to remember our providential escapes, and the many mercies that have been granted, than Whatever is to be thy lot, whatever task is to murmur at the scantiness of our fare, or assigned thee in the vineyard, wherever may the bareness of our shelter. It does then ap-be the scene of thy earthly tarrying, whether pear to me especially necessary, that we should afflictions surprise thee as a flood, or thy pleatake with us all the strength and encourage-sures be as a full flowing fountain, "hope thou ment afforded. And where is this to be found, but as it were in the very bosom of perfection, in Him who alone is the true source of every good, and the resource in every evil. Let us consider what is said of Him in Scripture, that not one sparrow in his vast creation escapes the protecting hand, and the observing eye of its Maker. We have indeed a Parent, who is nothing but love, who created us out of the purest love, who preserves our natural lives every moment, whose love alone gave us immortal souls fitted for immortal joys, and through his Son opened a way, by which all might enter into the possession of eternal life and glory:—and it is expressly said, "no good thing will God withhold from them that walk uprightly." So that there is help, and hope, and happiness for all, whatever may be their condition or situation, excepting only such as wilfully persist in refusing or abusing extended and continual mercy. J. B.

Second month 8th.-The very important decision, as to the line of life which I am to pursue, has often for this year past, given me much anxiety and inward exercise, it has often been the cause of restless nights and anxious days, and even I have reason to believe to the injury of my health of body, as well as of mind. The anxiety which it excited in me, seems however to have been misplaced; because I ought to have been desirous to know

only in God," for " from him cometh thy sal vation." Neither give place to doubt or dis belief, nor to very much anxiety or disturb ance of mind, respecting what may befal thee: never fear,-there is one that provideth for the sparrows, there is one to whom every event is in subjection,-He is good: from his hand "proceedeth not evil;" and he hath said, "there shall no evil happen to the just." In the mean time, in all thy watchings and waitings, in all thy wants and weariness, cease not to think of his mercies, his goodness, his tender dealings with thee; be mindful of these things; hide them not, be not ashamed of them; but show "to the generation to come, the praises of the Lord, and his strength and his wonderful works that he hath done." Surely, my soul, if thou doest thus, if thou rememberest that God has been and will be thy rock, and thy redeemer,—if thou trustest in the Lord, and makest him thy hope,-thou shalt "be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the rivers;" thou shalt prosper in thy day, and be estab lished.

14th.-O! Lord! thou who knowest all things, the hearts of all men are open and bare in thy sight;-thou canst not be deceived;-thou lookest upon the heart;-thy re gard is to the thought and intent of it, and thy controversy and thy judgment only with the evil thereof. O Lord! no one but thyself

fully knows, how fervently and frequently my on those, with whom in my vile courses I kept soul doth crave of thee, that thou wouldst en- company. Now I believe I may not with innoable thy poor longing creature to step forward cency or impunity quench, or reject, or make with faith and firmness in the way of thy re- light of, such concerns and impressions as have quirings. Be present with me on this troubled their foundation in Truth, and the end of which ocean;---take me, I beseech thee, by the hand, is the advancement of Truth; nor am I at saying, "fear not:" and if it be thy gracious liberty to treat such thoughts as he did, who will, be pleased to guard and govern me day said, "Go thy way for this time, when I have by day, and hour by hour; that so through a convenient season I will call for thee;" forthy sufficient and availing help, I may be asmuch as I know not that another oppormade willing and able to become thy true dis- tunity may be afforded me. I therefore feel ciple and servant,-to follow a crucified Re-bound to encourage and cherish good impresdeemer, through the tossings and tempests of sions by all means and at all times. The ofthis troubled scene, to a glorious and an immortal inheritance.

tener I have considered this important and extensive subject, the more strongly have I been induced to believe, that sacrifices will be called for at my hand; and that I shall be constrained to take up my daily cross in a peculiar manner, not only as to things which are wrong in themselves, but as to those which have a tendency to evil, and even in many things which religious people account innocent and allowable. O! when I read in the Scriptures the very excellent precepts and instructions given for us to follow; and when I examine closely the conformity of the lives of those by whom the precepts were delivered; my admiration at the coincidence in every minute particular, is, as it were, swallowed up in mourning, at the declension of the present professors of the same religious duties. By such considerations and reflections, my soul is stimulated very fervently and frequently to petition Him, who is the fountain of all good, that He would, in his own time and way, aid his own cause-that He would be pleased to regard the sighs, the cries, and the tears of His exercised people" His own elect, which cry day and night unto Him," for the advancement, extention, and prosperity of every thing that is good.

Second month.--I have been at this time, as at many others, very seriously impressed with the belief of the immediate influence of the Spirit of that great and gracious Being, who promised by the mouth of Him whom He sent into the world, that He should be, in his true disciples, a teacher of all things, and a guide into all truth. There has been felt this evening a still small voice, whispering in the secret of my soul, and gently opening what would be required of me. It has been given me to see with an unusual degree of clearness, that there will be an important post,-an honourable station for me to hold, if I am but faithful to the smaller discoveries of duty; that the track, which for a short space I have been stepping in, though likely to lead me in the way of usefulness, is not the track appointed for me;--but that way will be opened, in due time and manner, to engage in a more extensive occupation, even a high and holy calling. I speak not here of a prospect of engaging publicly as a minister among Friends, but of religious usefulness generally. I desire not to be misunderstood, and thus to bring disgrace on the Truth, or the true lovers of it: I therefore can scarcely Third month.-The subject of dress has forbear to mention the view of my mind, as it very frequently come under my serious conis and has been on this matter. I have long sideration,-it has of late been still more often mourned day and night, and have been griev- and more deeply impressed on my mind ; and ously affected with the rapid advances which as I have kept quiet and calm, singly desirous the enemy of souls is making, on the earth at to know and to do whatever might be required, large, on professing Christians generally. Un- the matter has opened more and more clearly der this impression my soul has been weighed before my view; and some things with regard down more or less, for the space of above two to it, which had been hitherto hid from me, years with little intermission, even before I whilst in a disposition to follow my own reacame into acquaintance with that Society, of sonings and fleshly wisdom, or concerning which I was born a nominal member. My which I seemed then to be uncertain and unvery health, I believe, has been at times in- decided, now brighten up into clearness, so as jured by this constant anxiety; which was not to be erased or smothered by close application to business, or by society, or recreation. My concern has been much increased, by a review of the depth of perdition from which I have been plucked, even as a brand from the burning: and by the deplorable effects of sin VOL. VI.-No. 11.

to make me conclude that they are indisputably right for me to adopt. And surely, I may add, no sooner is a truth clearly manifested,— a duty distinctly marked out, than it should without hesitation be obeyed. With regard to my present dress, and outward appearance, it is evident there is much to alter. That dress,

51

from which my forefathers have, without good but let them gather sufficient, and the rest let reason and from improper motives departed, them leave for the portion of the poor. For to that dress I must return:-that simple ap- my own part, if way open for my going into pearance, now become singular, which occa- business, I believe it will be safest for me to sioned and still continues to occasion the pro- engage in such an one as is moderately profitfessor of the Truth suffering and contempt, able, yielding regular returns, and tending to the same must I also take up, and submit to the general and substantial welfare of manthe consequences thereof. Some may object to kind, to the injury of none, and which will this, as if it were improperly "taking thought;" not take up much attention or anxiety. But but I differ from them, not in the rule itself especially I desire, that I may never sell to about the anxiety bestowed on clothing, but others any article which has an evil tendency, about the application of that rule. It is right, or which evidently and often is misapplied. if the vain customs, folly and fashion of this With respect to this particular, I have lamentworld, have insinuated themselves into any ed to see that Friends, who are fearful lest they branch of our daily conduct, to eradicate should give way to the spirit of vanity, pride, them, with every one of their useless inno- and extravagance, and who on that account vations, whatever trouble, anxiety, or perse-decorate neither their persons nor houses, nor cution it may cost us. But after we have once even allow their servants to dress gaily,―that broken our bonds, we shall find a freedom from anxiety, trouble, or thought about our apparel, far surpassing the unconcern and forgetfulness, which seems to deaden the spiritual eye and apprehension of the slave of custom.

CHAPTER IV.

these should yet feel easy to deal to others, things which they disapprove of for themselves;-that they should not hesitate to buy and sell such articles, as they well know are inconsistent and incompatible with the pure teachings of that principle, by which they profess to be led. This matter has impressed me much. I know that by adopting this sentiment, I show my disapprobation of the conduct of many sincere-hearted friends, and I am also aware how few descriptions of occupation in life are entirely free from this objection. Nevertheless, I do believe that the sincere-hearted amongst us will not hesitate to give up that in their outward concerns, which they see and know to be an encouragement to evil in any shape. That these may come to see this matter, as clearly as I do at this present time, is the warm desire of my soul.

Third month 13th, 1817.-I THINK it right at this time to set down my opinions, or rather such opinions as I conceive to be sound and good, relative to the subject of business: I fear many of my near and dear friends have much mistaken my ideas on this matter; and perhaps I myself have not entirely acted up in every respect to that standard, into which the Truth leads those who follow its dictates. I believe that it is good for man to earn his livelihood by the sweat of his brow. If any one But the ground upon which I think it best has, or ever comes to have sufficient for the for me to be not much engrossed in the things support of himself or family,--by a sufficiency, of this life, is this: having experienced no I do not mean that which will satisfy all his small share of the forbearance and mercy of desires, nor that which may raise his family the Lord, having been rescued and delivered above the sphere in which they were born, from the pit of destruction, having sincere and neither that which will furnish his children fervent desires for my own preservation and with large capitals to enter lucrative or exten- salvation, as well as for that of my poor felsive concerns, but if he has wherewith to low-creatures every where,-I have inclined support himself and family in a moderate way towards the belief, that the Lord will make of living, and to afford his children an useful use of me, if I am faithful to his requirings, education, the knowledge of some honest em- in the way and time, and for the purposes, ploy, and a little to begin with,-it is enough. which He sees best. Under this impression I am inclined to think, that such an one should it is, that I believe it right for me to sit loose consider, whether it be not right for him to give to this world and its anxieties, and not to be up his business to his children, to faithful de- too much entangled in them; lest I should be pendents, or to relations that want it; unless incapacitated for performing that service which he be of a disposition that can hardly find oc- may be shown to be my duty, or unable from cupation for his mind out of business, and in from my situation in business to undertake it. this case, let him continue to employ himself Though I scarcely think it my place to be out in it, taking only a small share of the profits. of business; yet I believe that it is good for With respect to charity, let not any in trade some to be entirely released from it; and also, nicely glean their vine of the fruit with which that well disposed persons should devote a the Lord hath so abundantly blessed them; considerable portion of their talents, time, and

money, to visiting and relieving the poor, and advancing and promoting the good of mankind in various other ways, according to their several gifts.

of spirit, and in silent waiting before Him, "who giveth us all things richly to enjoy,' these texts of Scripture were revived in my recollection, and sealed very firmly the instructive communications which I had heard: "Let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself and not in another;"-"Be not deceived, God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh, shall of the flesh reap corruption: but he that soweth to the spirit, shall of the spirit reap life everlasting." I had also occa. sion to remember, that he it was, who came to Christ, heard his sayings, and did them, that was likened to a man, who built upon a rock.

[It appears, that about this period, the author felt it to be his duty to address his late schoolmaster; having when under his charge been guilty of much irregular and disreputable conduct; the reader may judge of his feelings on this occasion, by the following extracts from his letter to this person, after having left the school about four years.]

Fourth month 4th.-Last third-day week, the 25th of third month, was our quarterly meeting; at which precious opportunity I was much favoured to feel refreshment and instruction the business of the meeting was conducted pretty much to satisfaction, and the conclusion of the last sitting, I have reason to remember. During the interval of ten days which has since elapsed, I have frequently had on my mind an inclination to record the awful and weighty posture, into which my soul was brought on that occasion, by the merciful visitation of a tender Father. Towards the latter part of the concluding sitting, after the busi ness of the meeting was transacted, and a suitable pause had ensued, a minister got up with this most impressive language of the apostle,-"Other foundation can no man lay, than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build upon this foundation, gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; every man's work shall be made manifest; for the day shall declare it, because it shall 10th of Fourth month, 1817. be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try Esteemed friend, B. H. M. every man's work, of what sort it is. If any Whilst taking up my pen to address thee, man's work abide which he hath built there- my mind is deeply affected by the vivid ocupon, he shall receive a reward." I believe currence of past events, with all the crowd of nothing was added to this by the Friend him- feelings which spring up on this occasion. self, though R. Phillips carried forward the The mass of sin and folly through which I walksubject a little with much force and vigour. ed when under thy notice, the exhortations, After this another minister rose, and in a sol- the reproofs, the forbearance, and the warnemn and earnest manner applied the foregoing ings, which I received and despised,-together to the youth then present: he urged them in with all the flood of remorse and repentance a powerful manner to look to their foundation, which has since intervened; and above all, and to examine what hope they were laying the clear conviction, with which I am to this up against the time to come: he reminded day favoured, that it was nothing short of them how soon and how suddenly, even the "the mighty hand and the outstretched arm," young, the healthy, and the strong, were cut which brought about my deliverance ;—these off; and desired them to recollect, that the are a few, and but a few of the emotions that Lord loved an early sacrifice, a sacrifice of throng me, whilst attempting to relieve mytime, and talents, and treasure,—a sacrifice of self of a burden of duty which has long been every thing: and he recommended to those due. The principal object in my view by this who were ready to give up all and follow their humiliating task, seems to be, to procure from crucified Saviour, fully to ascertain, that what thee, for all these numerous injuries which in they were about to offer, was required and time past have been offered thee, such a free called for at their hands; and in all their un- and full forgiveness, as I am encouraged to dertakings and designs, thoroughly to try "the believe, has been long since received from a fleece." I cannot repeat what I felt upon this still more injured Master, who is in heaven. awful occasion, especially as the remarks Whatever opinion or disposition thou mayst came from one to whom I am not known, entertain towards me, even if likely to be at nor do I even know him by sight. I could all different from that which I have every reascarcely speak to any one, after the meeting son to expect; yet such is the feeling of gratibroke up; but walked home in fear and tude and respect, with which I remember thy trembling, under a renewed impression and wholesome discipline and indulgent attention belief, that the Lord is yet as mindful of his to me when under thy protection, that it seems poor frail creature as ever he has been. As as though I could receive with equal regard I was returning to Clapham in deep retirement the severest or the mildest reply which thou

friend,

J. B.

[In a lettter to a Friend, dated about this time, he writes:-]

mayst see best to make. Amidst all the dis- mode, or extent of this act of dedication, I couragements, which in many ways attend have nothing for which to reprove myself as the honourable and truly important post in yet,-nothing that I could really and truly which thou art placed, from the ingratitude, wish to be otherwise than it is; and that I the perverseness, the corrupt and hardened have abundant cause for thankfulness and en. insensibility to what is good, so often preva- couragement. Believe me, thy affectionate lent in early youth; still is there much cause to believe, that many more of this class are arrested in their perilous career, than return to acknowledge it, to such as have had the charge of them: and it is probable, that even some, of whom, after much solicitude and unwearied endeavours on thy part, thou hast given up almost every hope, shall yet live to fill up their various stations in society with satisfaction and with credit. When I look back upon my own past conduct, and take in all the various aggravating circumstances attending or connected with it, many of which thou art not acquainted with, I find myself able to express very little of what I feel, not only towards thyself, but towards all whom I have in any manner injured, whether more or less remotely.-With feelings of esteem for thyself and family, believe me to be thy friend, J. BARCLAY.

TO A FRIEND.
Clapham, 22nd of Fourth month, 1817.

We have truly witnessed the "mighty hand," and the "outstretched arm:" then let neither of us be using in effect any other language, than, "the will of the Lord be done." Let us beware, lest we be in any wise counteracting the intention of Him, who intends better for us, far better, than we can possibly provide for ourselves. I believe there is a work assigned to each of us; that whilst to one is given a talent of one kind wherewith to occupy, to another may be handed one of a very different description; and as long as we are in our allotted stations, a blessing attaches to us. That thou and I may both be found not blindly choosing our own path, or laying down our own self-willed plans and projects; for that which we may call our welfare in life, is my earnest desire. For assuredly it My dear is not the estimated usefulness or service which In the season of sore affliction, which has we may be rendering to ourselves and to soat this time overtaken me, next to that conso-ciety, by taking up this or the other course of lation which springs from Him who is the source of all good, I know of nothing that affords such refreshment as the sympathy of dear and valued friends. And that I have thy tender sympathy and solicitude at this time of trial and of tears, I feel too well assured to doubt. How insignificant, how comparatively light did the adoption of any alteration in appearance and behaviour seem to my view, whilst they were looked upon at a distance: how little did I suppose, that such trembling and distress would have been occasioned, by so trifling a circumstance as the discontinuance of some paltry practices and habits, which were clearly seen to have had their origin in evil, or tended to it: how far was I from believing, that when the time should come for my standing forth, and showing under whose banner I had enlisted, in whose chosen regiment I served, there could be any other feeling in my heart but joy, that I was counted worthy to suffer whatever might be the consequence. Well, dear we have that which is better than words, by and through which we can communicate; why then need I add more. It may, however, relieve thee a little of what I know thou feels for me, to be assured, that in every respect as to this important matter, whether I look at the time, the

life; but it is the being in our right places, which is acceptable. Or, as R. Barclay said, If Paul, when his face was turned by the Lord towards Jerusalem, had gone back to Achaia or Macedonia, he might have supposed he would have done God more acceptable service, in preaching and confirming the churches, than in being shut up in prison in Judea; but would God have been pleased herewith? Nay, certainly. Obedience is better than sa crifice; and it is not our doing that which is good simply, which pleaseth God, but that good which he willeth us to do.' J. B.

To J. F. M.

Clapham, Fifth month, 1817.

I could say much to thee at this time, and could tell thee what a precious interval the present is more and more felt by me; how clearly matters seem daily to open before me, as a calm, willing, watchful state is abode under; how hard things are made easy, bitter things sweet, and how things that were expected to have brought suffering, have yielded little else but joy and rejoicing as "a song in the night."

It must be an encouragement to thee, and a cause of joy to see how very graciously and tenderly I am dealt with day by day,-how