For I presume brave Hector would not lose
So rich advantage of a promis'd glory,
As smiles upon the forehead of this action,
For the wide world's revenue.

Hect.
I am yours,
You valiant offspring of great Priamus.
I have a roisting challenge sent amongst
The dull and factious nobles of the Greeks,
Will strike amazement to their drowsy spirits.
I was advertis'd their great general slept,

17

Whilst emulation in the army crept: l'his. I presume, will wake him.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III.

The Grecian Camp. Before ACHILLES' Tent.

Enter THERSITES.

Ther. How now, Thersites! what! lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? he beats me, and I rail at him: O, worthy satisfaction! 'would it were otherwise; that I could beat him, whilst he rail'd at me. 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles, —a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O, thou great thunder-darter of

7 Emulation is here put for envious rivalry, factious contention. It is generally used by Shakespeare in this sense: the reason will appear from the following definition: "To have envie to some man to be angry with another man which hath that which we covet to have, to envy at that which another man hath, to studie, indevour and travaile to do e as well as another: emulatio is such kinde of envy."

Olympus! forget that thou art Jove the king of gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy Caduceus;' if ye take not that little little less-than-little wit from them that they have! which short-aim'd ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing their massy irons and

2

cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather, the Neapolitan bone-ache!' for that, methinks, is the curse dependant on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers, and devil, envy, say Amen. What, ho! my lord Achilles !

Enter PATROCLUS.

Patr. Who's there? Thersites? Good Thersites, come in and rail.

4

Ther. If I could have remember'd a gilt counterfeit, thou would'st not have slipp'd out of my contemplation; but it is no matter: thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! Heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy direction till thy death! then, if she that lays thee out says thou art a fair

1 The wand of Mercury is wreathed with serpents

2 The old copies have “short-arm'd ignorance." Arm for aim was a very common misprint, as Mr. Dyce has shown by many instances. It occurs afterwards in this play. See King Henry VI., Act iv. sc. 9, note 2.

3 Neapolitan is wanting in the folio.

H.

H.

4 To understand this joke it should be known that counterfeit and slip were synonymous: "And therefore he went out and got him certain slips, which are counterfeit pieces of money, being brasse, and covered over with silver, which the common people call slips."-Greene's Thieves falling out, true Men come by their Goods

corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't, she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen. Where's

Achilles ?

Patr. What! art thou devout? wast thou in prayer?

Ther. Ay; the heavens hear me !

Enter ACHILles.

Achil. Who's there?

Patr. Thersites, my lord.

Achil. Where, where?— Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not serv'd thyself in to my table so many meals? Come; what's Agamemnon? Then tell me,

Ther. Thy commander, Achilles :

Patroclus, what's Achilles?

Patr. Thy lord, Thersites: Then tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself?

Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus: Then tell me, Patroclus, what art thou?

Patr. Thou must tell, that know'st.

Achil. O tell, tell.

Ther. I'll decline the whole question." Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; ard Patroclus is a fool.

Patr. You rascal!'

Ther. Peace, fool! I have not done.

Achil. He is a privileg❜d man. Proceed, Ther

sites.

Ther. Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool: Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool.

H.

So in the quarto; in the folio, “may'st tell." • That is, run it through all the cases and numbers. This and the next three speeches are wanting in the quarto.

H.

B

Achil. Derive this; come.

Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool; and Patroclus is a fool positive.

Patr. Why am I a fool?

Ther. Make that demand to the Creator..

suffices me thou art.

It

Look you, who comes here!

Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES,

and AJAX.

Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody.—Come in with me, Thersites.

9

[Exit. Ther. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery! all the argument is a cuckold and a whore; a good quarrel, to draw emulous factions, and bleed to death upon! Now the dry serpigo on the subject! and war and lechery confound all!

10

[Exit

Aga. Where is Achilles?
Patr. Within his tent; but ill-dispos'd, my lord.

The quarto reads, "Make that demand of the prover." The folio reading makes the sense something clearer, and is more characteristic of the speaker. Prover would seem to mean one who has had experience of thy folly; and one would think that Thersites had such experience from the way he talks.

H.

9 Patchery is cozenage, roguery; making up something to wheedle or deceive. So in Fox, the Martyrologist: "Blackston being reproved for his false patching, fell in a quaking and shar ing, his conscience belike remorsing him." And in Timon o. Athens, Act v. sc. 1.:

"Ay, and you hear him cog, see him dissemble,
Know his gross patchery, love him, feed him,
Keep in your bosom ; yet remain assur'd,
That he's a made-up villain."

H.

10 The serpigo is a kind of tetter. See Measure for Measure, Act iii. sc. 1, note 6.

H.

11

Aga. Let it be known to him that we are here.
He shent our messengers; and we lay by
Our appertainments, visiting of him:

Let him be told so, lest, perchance, he think
We dare not move the question of our place,
Or know not what we are.

Patr.

I shall say so to him. [Exit. Ulys. We saw him at the opening of his tent : He is not sick.

Ajax. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my head, 'tis pride: But why, why? let him A word, my lord.

show us a cause.

[Takes AGAMEMNON aside.

Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ulys. Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. Nest. Who? Thersites?

Ulys. He.

Nest. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument.

Ulys. No; you see, he is his argument, that has his argument, Achilles.

Nest. All the better; their fraction is more our wish, than their faction: But it was a strong composure, a fool could disunite.

12

Ulys. The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie. Here comes Patroclus.

11 Shent is rebuked, reviled, or abused. See The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act i. sc. 4, note 7. The quarto bas, "He sate; the folio, "He sent," neither of which will stand with the rest of the passage. The emendation is Theobald's. Mr. Collier pro poses, "We sent," and objects to "He shent," that " Achilles had not rebuked any messengers." But how does he know this? If because no mention has been made of it, the objection is equally good against "We sent," for neither has this been mentioned The context strongly favours shent.

12 The folio reads counsel.

H.