Grows dainty of his worth, and in his tent
Lies mocking our designs: With him, Patroclus, Upon a lazy bed the livelong day
And with ridiculous and aukward action (Which, slanderer, he imitation calls,)
He pageants us. Sometime, great Agamemnon, Thy topless deputation he puts on;
And, like a strutting player,-whose conceit Lies in his hamstring, and doth think it rich To hear the wooden dialogue and sound "Twixt his stretch'd footing and the scaffoldage,- Such to-be-pitied and o'er-wrested seeming He acts thy greatness in: and when he speaks, 'Tis like a chime a mending; with terms unsquar'd, Which, from the tongue of roaring Typhon dropp'd, Would seem hyperboles. At this fusty stuff, The large Achilles, on his press'd bed lolling, From his deep chest laughs out a loud applause; Cries-Excellent!-'tis Agamemnon just.- Now play me Nestor;-hem, and stroke thy beard, As he, being 'drest to some oration.
That's done;- -as near as the extremest ends Of parallels; as like as Vulcan and his wife: Yet good Achilles still cries, Excellent! 'Tis Nestor right! Now play him me, Patroclus, Arming to answer in a night alarm.
And then, forsooth, the raint defects of age Must be the scene of mirth; to cough, and spit, And with a palsy-fumbling on his gorget, Shake in and out the rivet :-and at this sport, Sir Valour dies; cries, O!-enough, Patroclus;-
Or give me ribs of steel! I shall split all In pleasure of my spleen.
And in this fashion, All our abilities, gifts, natures, shapes, Severals and generals of grace exact, Achievements, plots, orders, preventions, Excitements to the field, or speech for truce, Success, or loss, what is, or is not, serves As stuff for these two to make paradoxes.
Nest. And in the imitation of these twain (Whom, as Ulysses says, opinion crowns With an imperial voice,) many are infect. Ajax is grown self-will'd, and bears his head In such a rein, in full as proud a place As broad Achilles: keeps his tent like him; Makes factious feasts; rails on our state of war, Bold as an oracle: and sets Thersites
(A slave, whose gall coins slanders like a mint,) To match us in comparisons with dirt; To weaken and discredit our exposure,
How rank soever rounded in with danger.
Ulyss. They tax our policy, and call it cowardice; Count wisdom as no member of the war; Forestall prescience, and esteem no act
But that of hand: the still and mental parts,— That do contrive how many hands shall strike, When fitness calls them on; and know, by measure Of their observant toil, the enemies' weight,- Why, this hath not a finger's dignity: They call this-bed-work, mappery, closet-war : So that the ram, that batters down the wall, For the great swing and rudeness of his poize, They place before his hand, that made the engine;
Or those, that with the fineness of their souls By reason guide his execution.
Nest. Let this be granted, and Achilles' horse Makes many Thetis' sons.
[Trumpet sounds. Agam. What trumpet? look, Menelaus.
Agam. What would you 'fore our tent? Ene. Is this
Great Agamemnon's tent, I pray?
Agam. Even this.
Ene. May one, that is a herald, and a prince, Do a fair message to his kingly ears?
Agam. With surety stronger than Achilles' arm 'Fore all the Greekish heads, which with one voice
Call Agamemnon head and general.
Ene. Fair leave, and large security. How may A stranger to those most imperial looks Know them from eyes of other mortals? Agam. How?
I ask, that I might waken reverence, And bid the cheek be ready with a blush Modest as morning, when she coldly eyes The youthful Phœbus:
Which is that god in office, guiding men? Which is the high and mighty Agamemnon?
Agam. This Trojan scorns us; or the men of Troy Are ceremonious courtiers.
Ene. Courtiers as free, as debonair, unarm'd, As bending angels; that's their fame in peace:
But when they would seem soldiers, they have galls, Good arms, strong joints, true swords: and, Jove's ac
Nothing so full of heart. But peace, Æneas,
Peace, Trojan; lay thy finger on thy lips!
The worthiness of praise distains his worth, If that the prais'd himself bring the praise forth: But what the repining enemy commends,
That breath fame follows; that praise, sole pure, trans
Agam. Sir, you of Troy, call you yourself Æneas? Ene. Ay, Greek, that is my name.
Agam. What's your affair, I pray you?
Ene. Sir, pardon; 'tis for Agamemnon's ears.
Agam. He hears nought privately, that comes from
Ene. Nor I from Troy come not to whisper him:
I bring a trumpet to awake his ear;
To set his sense on the attentive bent, And then to speak.
Agam. Speak frankly as the wind;
It is not Agamemnon's sleeping hour: That thou shalt know, Trojan, he is awake, He tells thee so himself.
Ene. Trumpet, blow loud,
Send thy brass voice through all these lazy tents ;- And every Greek of mettle, let him know, What Troy means fairly, shall be spoke aloud.
We have, great Agamemnon, here in Troy A prince call'd Hector, (Priam is his father,) Who in this dull and long-continued truce
Is rusty grown: he bade me take a trumpet, And to this purpose speak. Kings, princes, lords! If there be one, among the fair'st of Greece, That holds his honour higher than his ease;
That seeks his praise more than he fears his peril; That knows his valour, and knows not his fear; That loves his mistress more than in confession, (With truant vows to her own lips he loves,) And dare avow her beauty and her worth, In other arms than hers,-to him this challenge. Hector, in view of Trojans and of Greeks, Shall make it good, or do his best to do it, He hath a lady, wiser, fairer, truer, Than ever Greek did compass in his arms; And will to-morrow with his trumpet call, Mid-way between your tents and walls of Troy, To rouse a Grecian that is true in love: If any come, Hector shall honour him; If none, he'll say in Troy, when he retires, The Grecian dames are sun-burn'd, and not worth The splinter of a lance. Even so much.
Agam. This shall be told our lovers, lord Æneas; If none of them have soul in such a kind, We left them all at home: But we are soldiers; And may that soldier a mere recreant prove, That means not, hath not, or is not in love! If then one is, or hath, or means to be, That one meets Hector; if none else, I am he.
Nest. Tell him of Nestor; one, that was a man, When Hector's grandsire suck'd: he is old now; But, if there be not in our Grecian host One noble man, that hath one spark of fire
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