"The law my damage shall decide, "Sir, I'm so struck, when here before ye, ""Fore George! but I'll not blunder now -- VIZ, VIDELICET; OR, THE GIBLET PIE. A gentleman being deputed to make choice of a house and to order an annual dinner for a party, determined upon one pleasantly situated on the banks of the Thames, in the village of Mortlake. Having agreed with the landlord as to terms, and the precise dishes that were to be placed on the table, the gentleman informed him, that, in the event of the party being likewise satisfied, he would transmit him a letter by post, naming the day, &c. Their consent being signified, the gentleman accordingly wrote, stating, that on such a day he might expect the company, to the number of twenty-two, at so much per head; and, to guard against any misunderstanding, thought it prudent to recapitulate the dishes previously agreed upon, beginning, viz. Fish, veal, ham, &c." By return of post the landlord returned the following curious answer :— Sir, I received your commands, but I don't know what you mean by Videlicet, as I did not hear you mention it when you was at Mortlake. Every thing else shall be obeyed. Your's to command.——— MORTLAKE, July 4. This letter, of course, afforded considerable mirth to the party who perused it--but it appeared to the gentleman strange that the landlord should be incapable of understanding the contraction, and yet write the word at length, though improperly spelt. The following dialogue, however, which actually took place, upon the receipt of the letter, at which time the landlord, his wife, and the writer were in the bar, will best elucidate the subject:-" Why, wife, did you ever hear me mention such a dish as viz. when the gentleman was down here ordering the dinner?"" Lor", husband, no ; what is viz?" A gentleman who had just paid the waiter, for his morning beverage, hearing the last question, politely answered "It means Videlicet, madām,” and passed on. Here the host was again at a pause," when he suddenly exclaimed, " And what is Videlicet? I never heard of such a dish in all my life." "Nor I, husband, though I have lived in the first families-aye, and where every kind of made dish has been sent to table." "Thomas, do you know what is Videlicet ?" "No, sir, but I suppose it's some of those new-fangled dishes that the French are so fond of. I'll ask in the kitchen." The inquries in the kitchen were equally unsuccessful; but Thomas, upon recollection, thought he had heard of a fish of that name. To the river the landlord immediately proceeded; all the river fishermen were, in turn, applied to, but all were equally positive that Videlicet did not grow in the river Thames, or else they must have caught himperhaps it might be a salt-water fish; but that opinion was not supported by the landlady, who declared that if Videlicet was any thing, it was a made dish; and, not to expose their ignorance, they agreed to apologize, and make no further inquiries. On the day of the dinner, which, to do the landlord credit, was excellent, the idea of vix was not forgotten; the inquiries for it were so frequent, that the landlord, who waited in person, thought proper, with many apologies, to express his regret that he had not been able to procure it in time-the letter came too late the notice was so short--but, desirous to oblige, he had placed on the table, in its stead, a giblet pie. This explanation produced such an involuntary, such a general burst of laughter, that all sensibly felt for the landlord's embarrassment, from which, however, he was adroitly relieved by one of the party observing, "Why, really, Mr. B., I admire your substitution; your giblet pie is excellent, and so like videlicet, that I shall never eat of the one without thinking upon the other." HOHENLINDEN. On Linden, when the sun was low, But Linden saw another sight, By torch and trumpet fast arrayed, Then shook the hills with thunder riven, And redder yet those fires shall glow, "Tis morn! but scarce yon lurid sun Shout in their sulph'rous canopy. The combat deepens. On, ye brave, THE COUUNTRYMAN AND RAZOR-SELLER. A fellow, in a market town, Most musical, called razors up and down, As ev'ry man would buy, with cash and sense. "This rascal stole the razors, suppose. No matter if the fellow be a knave, It certainly will be a monstrous prize." So home the clown with his good fortune went, And quickly soap'd himself to ears and eyes. Hodge now began, with grinning pain, to grub, "Twas a vile razor !-then the rest he triedAll were impostors-'Ah!' Hodge sigh'd, "I wish my eighteen-pence within my purse." In vain, to chase his beard, and bring the graces, He cut, and dug, and winced, and stamp'd, and swore; Brought blood, and danced, blasphemed, and made wry And cursed each razor's body o'er and o'er. [faces, His muzzle, form'd of opposition stuff, 'Razors !-a vile confounded dog- Hodge sought the fellow-found him-and begun, Sirrah! I tell you, you're a knave, Upon my soul I never thought That they would shave.' 'Not think they'd shave?' quoth Hodge with wond'ring eyes, And voice not much unlike an Indian yell, "What were they made for then, you dog?' he cries. 'Made!' quoth the fellow, with a smile to sell!' THE YORKSHIREMAN AND HIS FAMILY. A Yorkshireman saluted the guard of the coach with, "I say, Mr. Guard, have you a gentleman from Lunnun in coach ?" "How should I know?" said the guard. "Well," said he, "I am ganging about four miles whoam, and I'll gang inside if you please, and then I can find him out mysen." On being admitted into the coach, when seated, he addressed himself to the person opposite him, and said, "Pray, sir, ay'nt you from Lun"Yes," said the gentleman. "Pray, sir, ay'nt nun !" g |