of our disagreement, and of the personal affront offered on my
part,) in so wording what I have to say by way of apology, as to
meet all the minute exigencies, and all the variable shadows of
the case.
I have great reliance, however, on that extreme deli-
cacy of discrimination, in matters appertaining to the rules of
etiquette, for which you have been so long and so pre-eminently
distinguished. With perfect certainty, therefore, of being com-
prehended, I beg leave, in lieu of offering any sentiments of my
own, to refer you to the opinions of the Sieur Hedelin, as set
forth in the ninth paragraph of the chapter of "Injuria per ap-
plicationem, per constructionem, et per se,” in his “Duelli Lex
scripta, et non; aliterque." The nicety of your discernment in all
the matters here treated, will be sufficient, I am assured, to con-
vince you that the mere circumstance of me referring you to this
admirable passage, ought to satisfy your request, as a man of
honor, for explanation.

With sentiments of profound respect,
Your most obedient servant,

VON JUNS.

The Herr Johan Hermann.

August 18th, 18-.

Hermann commenced the perusal of this epistle with a scowl, which, however, was converted into a smile of the most ludicrous self-complacency as he came to the rigmarole about Injuriæ per applicationem, per constructionem, et per se. Having finished reading, he begged me, with the blandest of all possible smiles, to be seated, while he made reference to the treatise in question. Turning to the passage specified, he read it with great care to himself, then closed the book, and desired me, in my character of confidential acquaintance, to express to the Baron Von Jung his exalted sense of his chivalrous behavior, and, in that of second, to assure him that the explanation offered was of the fullest, the most honorable, and the most unequivocally satisfactory nature.

Somewhat amazed at all this, I made my retreat to the Baron. He seemed to receive Hermann's amicable letter as a matter of course, and after a few words of general conversation, went to

an inner room and brought out the everlasting treatise " Duelli Lex scripta, et non; aliterque." He handed me the volume and asked me to look over some portion of it. I did so, but to little purpose, not being able to gather the least particle of meaning. He then took the book himself, and read me a chapter aloud. To my surprise, what he read proved to be a most horribly absurd account of a duel between two baboons. He now explained the mystery; showing that the volume, as it appeared prima facie, was written upon the plan of the nonsense verses of Du Bartas; that is to say, the language was ingeniously framed so as to present to the ear all the outward signs of intelligibility, and even of profundity, while in fact not a shadow of meaning existed. The key to the whole was found in leaving out every second and third word alternately, when there appeared a series of ludicrous quizzes upon a single combat as practised in modern times.

The Baron afterwards informed me that he had purposely thrown the treatise in Hermann's way two or three weeks before the adventure, and that he was satisfied, from the general tenor of his conversation, that he had studied it with the deepest attention, and firmly believed it to be a work of unusual merit. Upon this hint he proceeded. Hermann would have died a thousand deaths rather than acknowledge his inability to understand anything and everything in the universe that had ever been written about the duello.

X-ING A PARAGRAB.

As it is well known that the "wise men" came "from the East," and as Mr. Touch-and-go Bullet-head came from the East, it follows that Mr. Bullet-head was a wise man; and if collateral proof of the matter be needed, here we have it—Mr. B. was an editor. Irascibility was his sole foible; for in fact the obstinacy of which men accused him was anything but his foible, since he justly considered it his forte. It was his strong point-his virtue; and it would have required all the logic of a Brownson to convince him that it was "anything else."

I have shown that Touch-and-go Bullet-Head was a wise man; and the only occasion on which he did not prove infallible, was when, abandoning that legitimate home for all wise men, the East, he migrated to the city of Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, or some place of a similar title, out West.

I must do him the justice to say, however, that when he made up his mind finally to settle in that town, it was under the impression that no newspaper, and consequently no editor, existed in that particular section of the country. In establishing "The Tea-Pot," he expected to have the field all to himself. I feel confident he never would have dreamed of taking up his residence in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, had he been aware that, in Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, there lived a gentleman named John Smith (if I rightly remember), who, for many years, had there quietly grown fat in editing and publishing the "Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis Gazette." It was solely, therefore, on account of having been misinformed, that Mr. Bullet-head found

himself in Alex

suppose we call it Nopolis, "for short"-but, as he did find himself there, he determined to keep up his character for obst- for firmness, and remain. So remain he did; and he did more; he unpacked his press, type, etc., etc., rented an office exactly opposite to that of the "Gazette," and, on the third morning after his arrival, issued the first number of "The Alexan"- that is to say, of "The Nopolis Tea-Pot:”—as nearly as I can recollect, this was the name of the new paper.

The leading article, I must admit, was brilliant-not to say severe. It was especially bitter about things in general—and as for the editor of "The Gazette," he was torn all to pieces in particular. Some of Bullet-head's remarks were really so fiery that I have always, since that time, been forced to look upon John Smith, who is still alive, in the light of a salamander. I cannot pretend to give all the Tea-pot's paragraphs verbatim, but one of them run thus:

"Oh, yes!-Oh we perceive! Oh, no doubt! The editor over the way is a genius-O, my! Oh, goodness, gracious!what is this world coming to? Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses!”

A philippic at once so caustic and so classical, alighted like a bombshell among the hitherto peaceful citizens of Nopolis. Groups of excited individuals gathered at the corners of the streets. Every one awaited, with heartfelt anxiety, the reply of the dignified Smith. Next morning it appeared, as follows:

"We quote from 'The Tea-Pot' of yesterday the subjoined paragraph: Oh, yes! Oh, we perceive! Oh, no doubt! Oh, my! Oh, goodness! Oh, tempora! Oh, Moses! Why, the fellow is all O! That accounts for his reasoning in a circle, and explains why there is neither beginning nor end to him, nor to anything that he says. We really do not believe the vagabond can write a word that hasn't an O in it. Wonder if this O-ing is a habit of his? By-the-by, he came away from Down-East in a great hurry. Wonder if he O's as much there as he does here? O! it is pitiful.""

The indignation of Mr. Bullet-head at these scandalous insinuations, I shall not attempt to describe. On the eel-skinning principle, however, he did not seem to be so much incensed at the attack upon his integrity as one might have imagined. It

was the sneer at his style that drove him to desperation. What!— he Touch-and-go-Bullet-head!—not able to write a word without an O in it! He would soon let the jackanapes see that he was mistaken. Yes! he would let him see how much he was mistaken, the puppy! He, Touch-and-go Bullet-head, of Frogpondium, would let Mr. John Smith perceive that he, Bullet-head, could indite, if it so pleased him, a whole paragraph-ay! a whole article-in which that contemptible vowel should not once--not even once-make its appearance. But no ;-that would be yielding a point to the said John Smith. He, Bullet-head, would make no alteration in his style, to suit the caprices of any Mr. Smith in Christendom. Perish so vile a thought! The O forever! He would persist in the O. He would be as O-wy as O-wy could be.

Burning with the chivalry of this determination, the great Touch-and-go, in the next "Tea-Pot," came out merely with this simple but resolute paragraph, in reference to this unhappy affair:

6

"The editor of the 'Tea-Pot' has the honor of advising the editor of The Gazette' that he, (the Tea-Pot,') will take an opportunity in to-morrow morning's paper, of convincing him, (the Gazette,') that he, (the 'Tea-Pot,') both can and will be his own master, as regards style ;-he (the 'Tea-pot') intending to show him, (the 'Gazette,') the supreme, and indeed the withering contempt with which the criticism of him, (the Gazette,') inspires the independent bosom of him, (the 'Tea-Pot,') by composing for the especial gratification (?) of him, (the 'Gazette,') a leading article, of some extent, in which the beautiful vowel the emblem of Eternity-yet so inoffensive to the hyper-exquisite delicacy of him, (the Gazette,') shall most certainly not be avoided by his (the Gazette's') most obedient, humble servant, the 'Tea-pot.' 'So much for Buckingham!""

6

In fulfilment of the awful threat thus darkly intimated rather than decidedly enunciated, the great Bullet-head, turning a deaf ear to all entreaties for "copy," and simply requesting his foreman to " go to the d-1," when he (the foreman) assured him (the "Tea-pot!") that it was high time tc "go to press :" turning a deaf ear to everything, I say, the great Bullet-head sat up until