"We are parted for ever; I am never to see him more if I marry Noel; and you know what says will be done." he "Not always, Nellie; but he knows that is best. Glynne can do nothing by halves. He must do what is right according to his own fashion, or not at all." "And I am to do no more for him? Oh ! Selina, with God's help, I can make the Lady' think and do that which he loves and wishes." "You have done your best there, Nellie. She is now removed from your sphere. May I speak to Richard ?" "He will despise me evermore.' "And the Good God, who sees into all hearts "Oh! Selina, tell him all." So three days passed; and under their benign treatment I was enabled to separate the good from the bad in my heart. I thought to write to Noel, saying I would come home for ever, when the post arrived. It brought a letter from him. I called Selina, to read with me. this-what I would consider as my first love letter; trembling, perhaps blushing, at the idea. She knew all my Selina laughingly came. thoughts almost as well as myself. She was so true a woman, none need fear her scrutiny. She laid rose-leaves cool, fragrant, and pure, on all she touched. 3 CHAPTER XXVII. "Heaven's gates are not so highly arched WE read the letter together. "My Nellie, most precious and dear to me, I have missed you sadly." "I was thinking of going home to-morrow, Selina," I interrupted, looking up at her from the letter. Hush, child," she answered, reading on still; and as she read, her face paled, her eyes grew larger. 66 All the more, because, Nellie, I may never see you again. For now, in the other room, waiting but the completion of this last fond act, are the surgeons; you knew some time ago, dearest one, that it was the opinion of one of the most skilful of them, that an operation might restore to me the sight of one eye, (I miss the loss of neither with you by my side), and what is more to the purpose, free me from those intolerable paroxysms of pain, that not even your presence can soften. At the time the question was first mooted, no pains were taken to conceal from me, that death under the operation was more probable than sight or safety. So, for the sake of my mother, I gave up the idea. That is two years ago. My mother, alas, is now partially insensible to anything that might occur to her son; my pain grows with time, more intolerable; the surgeon is more convinced that some foreign substance lies between the sight and the brain, and that my agonies are caused by the endeavours of this substance to force its way out. Should it touch the brain, my Nellie, pray God for me then. It is to avoid such a fate that I have decided to submit to the operation. This was my secret, which has been such for some months. I was only waiting a favourable time. Your absence gives it me. If God is gracious to one most erring, and I survive this operation, you will be my wife, I know, sweet Nell. This thought inspires me with a resolution and courage nothing else could bestow, but the touch of your soft fingers, that touch which has been as balm to me for so many times before. If I die, I do so, thanking God you were given me so long, as my child, nurse, companion-" แ I must go now, this instant," I exclaimed, reading, seeing no more. "We will go," answered Selina, ringing the bell as she spoke. No more words were spoken: in less than half an hour, Richard, Selina, and I were on our road back to Noel. Then, and not until then, somewhat calmed, more by the conviction that no further exertion could be made to hurry our journey, than anything else, Selina asked for the letter, that we might finish reading it. But I could not put sense to the words. There were fond phrases, loving words, they did not seem addressed to me. Prayers for us both, (how I needed them!) thoughts holy and resigned. I was not resigned |