a

Sir To. That's all one; he has hurt me, and there's the end on't. —Sot, did'st see Dick surgeon, sot? Clo. O he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone;

his

eyes were set at eight i' the morning.

Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a passy-measure, or a pavin I hate a drunken rogue.

Oli. Away with him. Who hath made this havoc with them?

Sir And. I'll help you, Sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together.

Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a gull? Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be looked to.

[Exeunt Clown, Sir To., and Sir AND.

Enter SEBASTIAN.
Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman;
But, had it been the brother of my blood,
I must have done no less, with wit and safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and
By that I do perceive it hath offended you;
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
We made each other but so late ago.

Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons; A natural perspective, that is, and is not.

Seb. Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me
Since I have lost thee.

Ant. Sebastian are you?
Seb.

Fear'st thou that, Antonio
Ant. How have you made division of yourself?-
An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin
Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?

Oli. Most wonderful!

Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother:
Nor can there be that deity in my nature
Of here and everywhere. I had a sister
Whom the blind waves and surges have devoured :-
Of charity, what kin are you to me?

[T. VIOLA. What countryman? what name? what parentage?

Vio. Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father;
Such a Sebastian was my brother too;
So went he suited to his watery tomb:
If spirits can assume both form and suit,
You come to fright us.
Seb.

A spirit I am indeed:

a

But am in that dimension grossly clad,
Which from the womb I did participate.
Were you a woman, as the rest goes even
I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
And say— Thrice welcome, drowned Viola!

Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow.
Seb. And so had mine.

Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth
Had numbered thirteen years.

Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul!
He finished, indeed, his mortal act
That day that made my sister thirteen years.

Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both
But this my masculine usurp'd attire,
Do not embrace me till each circumstance
Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump,
That I am Viola: which to confirm,
I'll bring you to a captain in this town,
Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help
I was preserv'd to serve this noble count;
All the occurrence of my fortune since
Hath been between this lady and this lord.
Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook:

[T. OLIVIA.
But nature to her bias drew in that.
You would have been contracted to a maid ;
Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived;
You are betroth'd both to a maid and man.

Duke. Be not amazed; right noble is his blood. -
If this be so, as yet the glass seems true,
I shall have share in this most happy wreck:
Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times, [TO VIOLA.
Thou never should'st love woman like to me.

Vio. And all those sayings will I over-swear;
And all those swearings keep as true in soul
As doth that orbed continent the fire
That severs day from night.
Duke.

Give me thy hand;
And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds.

Vio. The captain that did bring me first on shore Hath

my maid’s garments: he, upon some action,
Is now in durance, at Malvolio's suit;
A gentleman and follower of my lady's.

Oli. He shall enlarge him :-Fetch Malvolio hither:-
And yet, alas, now I remember me,
They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract.

Re-enter Clown, with a letter.
A most extracting frenzy of mine own
From my remembrance clearly banished his. —
How does he, sirrah?

Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave's end as well as a man in his case may do: he has here writ a letter to you; I should have given it you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much when they are delivered.

Oli. Open it, and read it.

Clo. Look then to be well edified when the fool delivers the madman ;--By the Lord, madam,

Oli, How now! art thou mad ?

Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vox.

Oli. Pr’ythee, read i' thy right wits.

Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits is to read thus: therefore perpend, my princess, and give ear. Oli. Read it you, sirrah.

[T. FABIAN. Fab. [reads. ] By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shaīl know it: though you have put me into darkness and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury.

The madly used MALVOLIO. Oli. Did he write this? Clo. Ay, madam. Duke. This savours not much of distraction. Oli. See him delivered, Fabian; bring him hither.

[Exit FABIAN. My lord, so please you, these things further thought on, To think me as well a sister as a wife, One day shall crown the alliance on't, so please you, Here at my house, and at my proper cost.

Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace your offer.Your master quits you; [to VIOLA] and, for your service

done him,
So much against the metal of your sex,
So far beneath your soft and tender breeding,
And since you called me master for so long,

How now,

Here is my hand; you shall from this time be
Your master's mistress.
Oli.

A sister?-you are she.
Re-enter FABIAN with MALVOLIO.
Duke. Is this the madman?
Oli.

Ay, my lord, this same;
Malvolio?
Mal.

Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.
Oli.

Have I, Malvolio? no.
Mal. Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that letter:
You must not now deny it is your hand,
Write from it, if you can, in hand or phrase;
Or

say, 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this. Well, grant it then,
And tell me, in the modesty of honour,
Why you have given me such clear lights of favour;
Bade me come smiling and cross-garter'd to you;
To put on yellow stockings, and to frown
Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people:
And, acting this in an obedient hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
And made the most notorious geck and gull
That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why.

Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
Though, I confess, much like the character:
But, out of question, 'tis Maria’s hand.
And now I do bethink me, it was she
First toid me thou wast mad; then cam’st in smiling,
And in such forms which here were presuppos'd
Upon thee in the letter. Pr’ythee, be content:
This practice hath most shrewdly pass’d upon thee:
But, when we know the grounds and authors of it,
Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
Of thine own cause.
Fab.

Good madam, hear me speak;
And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come,
Taint the condition of this present hour,
Which I have wonder'd at. In hope it shall not,
Most freely I confess, myself and Toby
Set this device against Malvolio here,
Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts
We had conceiv'd against him. Maria writ
The letter, at Sir Toby's great importance;

In recompense whereof he hath married her.
How with a sportful malice it was follow'd,
May rather pluck on laughter than revenge,
If that the injuries be justly weigh'd
That have on both sides past.

Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled thee!

Clo. Why, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them. I was one, sir, in this interlude; one Sir Topas, sir; but that's cne:By the Lord, fool, I am not mad;—But do you remember? Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal? an you smile not, he's gagged. And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges.

Mal. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you. [Exit.
Oli. He hath been most notoriously abus'd.

Duke. Pursue him, and entreat him to a peace :-
He hath not told us of the captain yet;
When that is known, and golden time convents,
A solemn combination shall be made
Of our dear souls. - Meantime, sweet sister,
We will not part from hence.—Cesario, come:
For so you shall be while you are a man;
But, when in other habits you are seen,
Orsino's mistress, and his fancy's queen.

[Exeunt.

SONG. Clo.

When that I was and a little tiny boy,

With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
A foolish thing was but a toy,

For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to man's estate,

With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
'Gainst knave and thief men shut their gate,

For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came, alas ! to wive,

With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
By_swaggering could I never thrive,

For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came unto my bed,

With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
With toss-pots still had drunken head,

For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world began,

With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
But that's all one, our play is done,
And we'll
strive to please you every day.

[E.cit.