Ford. I will tell you, fir, if you will give me the hearing.

Fal. Speak, good master Brook; I fhall be glad to be your fervant.

Ford. Sir, I hear you are a fcholar;-I will be brief with you ;-and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never fo good means, as defire, to make myfelf acquainted with you. I fhall difcover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good fir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own; that I may pass with a reproof the easier, fith you yourself know, how eafy it is to be fuch an offender.

Fal. Very well, fir; proceed.

Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her hufband's name is Ford.

1 Fal. Well, fir.

Ford. I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, be ftow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doting obferv. ance; engrofs'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every flight occafion, that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only brought many prefents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what fhe would have given: briefly, I have pursued her, as love hath pursued me; which hath been, on the wing of all occafions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am fure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel: that I have purchased at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this:

Love like a shadow flies, when fubftance love pursues; Purfuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.

Fal. Have you received no promife of fatisfaction at her hands ?..

Ford.

Ford. Never.

Fal. Of what quality was your love then?

Ford. Like a fair houfe, built upon another man's ground; so that I have loft my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it.

Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some fay, that, though the appear honeft to me, yet, in other places, she enlargeth her mirth fo far, that there is fhrewd conftruction made of her. Now, fir John, here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable difcourse, of great admittance, authentick in your place and perfon, generally allowed for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations. Fal. O, fir!

Ford. Believe it, for you know it:-There is money; fpend it, spend it; fpend more; fpend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honefty of this Ford's wife: ufe your art of wooing; win her to confent to you: if any man may, you may as foon as any.

Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I fhould win what you would enjoy? Methinks, you prefcribe to yourfelf very prepofterously.

Ford. O, understand my drift! fhe dwells fo fecurely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my foul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too strongly embattled against me: What say you to't, fir John ?

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and laft, as I am a gentleman, you fhall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. O, good fir!

Fal. Mafter Brook, I fay you fhall.

Ford. Want no money, fir John, you fhall want none. Fal. Want no miftrefs Ford, mafter Brook, you fhall want none. I fhall be with her (I may tell you,) by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from me: I fay, I fhall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.

Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, fir?

Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not:-yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they fay, the jealous wittolly knave hath maffes of money; for the which his wife feems to me well-favour'd. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.

Ford. I would you knew Ford, fir; that you might avoid him, if you faw him.

Fal. Hang him, mechanical falt-butter rogue! I will ftare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel: it fhall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns: master Brook, thou fhalt know, I will predominate over the peafant, and thou fhalt lie with his wife.-Come to me foon at night :-Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his ftile; thou, mafter Brook, fhalt know him for knave and cuckold::-come to me foon at night. [Exit.

Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this!-My heart is ready to crack with impatience.--Who fays, this is improvident jealoufy? My wife hath fent to him, the

hour is fixed, the match is made. Would any man have thought this?-See the hell of having a falfe woman! my bed fhall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I fhall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names!— Amaimon founds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol-cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an afs, a fecure afs; he will truft his wife, he will not be jealous: I will rather truft a Fleming with my butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheefe, an Irishman with my aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herfelf: then the plots, then fhe ruminates, then the devifes: and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for my jealousy!— Eleven o'clock the hour;-I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! [Exit.

SCENE III.

Windfor Park.

Enter CAIUS and RUGBY.

Caius. Jack Rugby!

Rug. Sir.

Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack?

Rug. 'Tis paft the hour, fir, that fir Hugh promised to

meet.

Caius. By gar, he has fave his foul, dat he is no come;

he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.

Rug. He is wife, fir; he knew your worship would kill him, if he came.

Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead, fo as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill

kill him.

Rug. Alas, fir, I cannot fence.
Caius. Villainy, take your rapier.
Rug. Forbear, here's company.

Enter HOST, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE.

Hoft. 'Blefs thee, bully doctor.

Shal. 'Save you, mafter doctor Caius.

Page. Now, good mafter doctor!

Slen. Give you good morrow, fir.

Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? Hoft. To fee thee fight, to fee thee foin, to see thee traverfe, to fee thee here, to fee thee there; to fee thee pafs thy punto, thy ftock thy reverfe, thy distance, thy montánt. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco ? ha, bully! What fays my Æfculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead?

Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face.

Hoft. Thou art a Caftilian king, Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!

Caius. I pray you, bear vitness dat me have stay fix or feven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.

Shal. He is the wifer man, mafter doctor: he is a curer of fouls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your profeffions: is it not true, master Page?

2

Page.