is a proscribed article, then permit us most respectfully to ask, why it is forced upon some constitutions which cannot bear it?

10. Why is Attacked, that important character which figures so gloriously in all military operations, forced by many to use more t, than his constitution will admit?

11. He cannot perform his operations, you know, at all, without the use of t, twice, every time he is attacked. But why force it upon him three times? This causes a change in his constitution and appearance which he cannot comfortably bear. Just see how Attacked is altered by more t, than he wants: Attack-ted.

12. There is another poor fellow who has a similar affliction Across. He is forced to the use of t, when his constitution cannot bear it at all. See what a spectacle a little t makes of him: Acrosst.

13. Oil, you all know, has a disposition smooth to a proverb; but he is, to say the least, in great danger of losing his fine, easy temper, by being treated in the altogether improper manner that you here behold: Ile! ILE! Poor Oil has been for centuries crying out, "O! O! O!" as loudly and roughly as his melodious but sonorous voice will permit; but they will not hear; they still call him, lle! lle!

14. Quench, that renowned extinguisher, whom all the world can't hold a candle to, is himself very much put out, now and then, from this cause: Some people permit that crooked and hissing serpent, S, to get before him, and coil round him, while he is in the hurry of duty, as you here see: Squench. And sometimes they give him a horrid black i; thus, Squinch.

1. Sauce has a good many elements in him, and, above all, a proper share of self-respect. He thinks he has too much spice and spirit to be considered such a flat as this indicates: Sass.

sass.

2. Saucer complains that he is served the same. Between them both, unless there is something done, there may be an overflow of sauciness to their masters.

3. Scarce is not a very frequent complainant of any thing; but he is now constrained to come forward, and pour out more plentifully than common. He complains that certain Nippies, both male and female, and hosts of honest imitators, call him Scurce, thinking it the height of gentility. He will detain you no longer, for he prefers to be always Scarce.

4. Lie, that verb of so quiet a disposition by nature, is roused to complain that his repose is exceedingly disturbed in the following manner : Almost the whole American nation, learned as well as unlearned, have the inveterate habit of saying, Lay, when they mean, and might say, Lie.

5. "Lay down," and "lay abed," and "let it lay," is truly a national sin against the laws of grammar. Lie modestly inquires whether even the collegelearned characters would not be benefited by a few days' attendance in a good common school.

6. We admit that Lie is rather inclined to indolence, and has a very strong propensity to sleep; but he would not be kept in perpetual dormancy for the lack of use. Please to employ him on all proper occasions, not when he stands or comes, but whenever he lies, in your way.

7. Potatoes, those benevolent personages who are constantly engaged in furnishing food for the hun

gry, are most unfeelingly mangled by those whose mouths they fill. Their heads and toes are both cut off; they are deprived of their extremities; they are curtailed of their fair proportions; they are cheated of feature.

8. In their extremity, as they are very mealymouthed, they merely say, "Po! po! gentlemen and ladies, spare us a head, and you may bruise our toes, in welcome." Still, their toes are hacked off, and sometimes only think! - tur is stuck on as a substitute; and thus, you see, those portly, goodlooking, round-faced personages, Potatoes, are sent out into this breathing world, without head or toes, to dig their own Taturs.

9. If it would not weary your patience, we would bring forward the complaints of many others, who are also in a state of suffering.

10. We must not, however, omit to bring to your notice the complaints of a very respectable class of our associates.

11. Every operative, and all who are actively employed, are doomed to go hurrying, and bustling, and dodging about, with one of their extremities

hacked off.

12. They are so modest, that they forbear to come forward and present their grievances, believin, as they do, that nothin can be done so long as the indomitable Jack Downing is goin about, talkin, speakin, and doin as he pleases.

13. Please lend us your indulgence a few moments longer. Your supplicants find it difficult to speak of this Downing family with any degree of calmness.

14. They torture us into such unnatural shapes, that the stretchings and disjointings in the Inquisition would be a pleasure in comparison. They make short long, and long short, without mercy.

15. Therefore we beg, in behalf of sound learning

and ourselves, that all the members of the Downing family may be sought out by the ought-to-be-enlightened people of the United States, and hurled into that nothin-ness from whence they sprung.

16. Now, sovereign arbiters, shall the condition of our suffering brethren be ameliorated? Shall the era of good grammar, correct spelling, and proper pronunciation, be hastened forward by some benevolent exertions?

17. Shall the present abuses be transmitted to the future, or not? Shall the Golden Age of Speech speedily come, and last evermore?

18. That some improvements in our condition, and in the condition of our afflicted brethren, may be vouchsafed, is the humble prayer of your supplicants; all whose names, being too numerous to be here subscribed, may be found recorded in Webster's great dictionary.

THE HYACINTH.

OVER the moorland, over the lea,
Dancing airily, there are we;
Sometimes, mounted on stems aloft,

We wave o'er broom and heather,
To meet the kiss of the zephyr soft;
Sometimes, close together,

Tired of dancing, tired of peeping,
Under the whin you'll find us sleeping.
Daintily bend we our honeyed bells,
While the gossiping bee her story tells
Of the wealth to her waxen storehouse gone,
And drowsily hums and murmurs on;
And though she gathers our sweets the
while,

We welcome her in with a nod and a smile.

No rock is too high, no vale too low,

For our fragile and tremulous forms to grow.
Sometimes we crown

The castle's dizziest tower, and look
Laughingly down

On the pygmy men in the world below,
Wearily wandering to and fro.

Sometimes we dwell on the cragged crest
Of mountain high;

And the ruddy sun, from the blue sea's breast,
Climbing the sky,

Looks from his couch of glory up,
And lights the dew in the bluebell's cup.
We are crowning the mountains

With azure bells,

Or decking the fountains

In forest dells,

Or wreathing the ruin with clusters gray,
And nodding and laughing the livelong day,
Then, chiming our lullaby, tired with play..
Are we not beautiful? O, are not we

The darlings of mountain, and moorland, and
lea?

Plunge in the forest
Go to the high road
O, where is the flower

are we not fair?

we'll meet you there. that content may tell,

Like the laughing, and nodding, and dancing bluebell?

THE CADI'S DECISIONS.

1. HAVING heard that the cadi of one of his twelve tribes administered justice in an admirable manner, and pronounced decisions in a style worthy of King Solomon himself, Bou-Akas determined to judge for himself as to the truth of the report.