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Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks?
Enter ACHILLES. Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by
Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes thy talk : thou art thought to be Achilles' male
Agam. So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that ?
night. Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the Ajax commands the guard to tend on you. rotten diseases of the south, the guts griping, rup- Hect. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' tures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, lethargies,
general. cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing
Men. Good night, my lord. lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciatica., lime- Hect.
Good night, sweet Menelaus. kilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled Ther. Sweet draught : Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such sink, sweet sewer. preposterous discoveries!
Achil. Good night, Patr. Why thou damnable box of envy, thou, And welcome, both to those that go, or tarry. what meanest thou to curse thus ?
Agam. Good night. Ther. Do I curse thee?
[Ereunt AGAMEMNON and MENELAUS. Patr. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whore
Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Dioined, son indistinguishable cur, no.
Keep Hector company an hour or two. Ther, No? why art thou then exasperate, thou
Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, idle immaterial skein of sleive silk, thou green
The tide whereof is now. -Good night, great Hector. sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's Hect. Give me your hand. purse, thou ? Ah, how the poor world is pestered Ulyss.
Follow his torch, he goes with such water-flies; diminutives of nature !
To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company. Patr. Out, gall !
(Aside to Troilus. Ther. Finch egg!
Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me. Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted
And so good night. quite
(Erit DIOMED; Ulyss. and Tro. following. From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle. Achil. Come, come, enter my tent. Here is a letter from queen Hecuba ;
[Ereunt Achil. Hector, Ajax, and Nest. A token from her daughter, my fair love;
Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep
a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it : he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses : he Fall, Greeks : fail, fame; honour, or go, or stay ; will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.
hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent; it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; This night in banqueting must all be spent.
the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps Away, Patroclus.
his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than [Exeunt ACHIT LES and PatrocLUS. not to dog him : they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, Ther. With too much blood and too little brain, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after. these two may run mad; but if with too much Nothing but lechery ! all incontinent varlets ! (Exit. brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, - an honest fel- SCENE II. The same.
Before Calchas' Tent. low enough, and one that loves quails ; but he has
Enter DIOMEDES. not so much brain as ear-wax : And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the Dio. What, are you up here, ho ? speak. bull, - the primitive statue, and obligue memorial Cal. [Within.] Who calls ? of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, Dio. Diomed. Calchas, I think. Where's hanging at his brother's leg, – to what form, but your daughter ? that he is, should wit larded with malice, and Cal. [Within.] She comes to you. malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were
Enter Troilus and Ulysses, at a distance ; after nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a
them THERSITES. mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us. puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care : but to be Menelaus,- I would conspire
Enter CressIDA. against destiny. Ask me not what I weuld be, if Tro. Cressid come forth to him! I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse Dio.
How now, my charge ? of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day ! Cres. Now my sweet guardian ! - Hark! a spirits and fires !
word with you.
Tro. Yea, so familiar !
Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take lights.
her cliff; she's noted. Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong.
Dio. Will you remember?
No, yonder 'tis;
Nay, but do then; Hect.
I trouble you.
And let your mind be coupled with your words. Ajar. No, not a whit.
Tro. What should she remember? Ulyss. Here comes himself to guide you.
shall not ;
Cres Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to Tro. O beauty! where's thy faith? folly.
My lord, Ther. Roguery!
Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will. Dio. Nay, then,
Cres. You look upon that sleeve: Behold it Cres. I'll tell you what :
well. Dio. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin : You are for- He lov'd me - O false wench ! — Give't me again.
Dio. Whose was't? Cres. In faith, I cannot : What would you have Cres.
No matter, now I have't again.
I will not meet with you to-morrow night : Ther. A juggling trick, to be - secretly open. I pr’ythee, Diomed, visit me no more. Dio. What did you swear you would bestow on Ther. Now she sharpens; Well said, whetme ?
stone. Cres. I pr’ythee, do not hold me to mine oath ; Dio. I shall have it. Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.
What, this? Dio. Good night.
Ay, that. Tro. Hold, patience!
Cres. O, all you gods! – O pretty pretty Ulyss. How now, Trojan ?
Diomed, Thy master now lies thinking in his bed Dio. No, no, good night : I'll be your fool no Of thee, and me; and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it, Tro. Thy better must.
As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me ; Cres.
Hark! one word in your ear. He, that takes that, must take my heart withal. Tro. O plague and madness!
Dio. I had your heart before, this follows it. Ulyss. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart, I Tro. I did swear patience. pray you,
Cres. You shall not have it, Diomed; 'faith you Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself To wrathful terms ; this place is dangerous; I'll give you something else. The time right deadly ; I beseech you, go.
Dio. I will have this; Whose was it? Tro. Behold, I pray you !
'Tis no matter Ulyss.
Now, good my lord, go off : Dio. Come, tell me whose it was. You flow to great destruction; come, my lord. Cres. 'Twas one's that loved me better than you Tro. I pr’ythee, stay.
You have not patience; come. But, now you have it, take it. Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's Dio.
Whose was it? torments,
Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women, yonder, I will not speak a word.
And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
Dio. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm ; Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.
And grieve his spirit, that dares not challenge it. Tro.
Doth that grieve thee? Tro. Wert thou the devil, and wor'st it on the O wither'd truth !
horn, Ulyss. Why, how now, lord ?
It should be challeng'd. Tro.
By Jove, Cres. Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past; — And yet I will be patient.
it is not; Cres.
Guardian ! - why, Greek ! I will not keep my word. Dio. Pho, pho! adieu ; you palter.
Why then, farewell ; Cres. In faith, I do not; come hither once again. Thou never shalt mock Diomed again. Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something ; will Cres. You shall not go : One cannot speak a
word, You will break out.
But it straight starts you.
I do not like this fooling. Ulyss.
Come, come. Ther. Nor I, by Pluto : but that that likes not Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a you, pleases me best. word :
Dio. What, shall I come ? the hour ? There is between my will and all offences
Ay, come :
O Jove A guard of patience : — stay a little while.
Do come :- - I shall be plagu'd. Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump,
Farewell till then. and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, Cres. Good night. I pr'ythee, come. lechery, fry!
[Erit DIOMEDES. Dio. But will you then ?
Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee;
[Exit. The error of our eye directs our mind : Ulyss. You have sworn patience.
What error leads, must err; ( then conclude, Tro.
Fear me not, my lord; Minds, sway'd by eyes, are full of turpitude. I will not be myself, nor have cognition
[Erit CressidA. Of what I feel ; I am all patience.
Ther. A proof of strength she could not publisha Re-enter Cressida.
Unless she said, My mind is now turn'd whore, Ther. Now the pledge ; now, now, now!
Ulyss. All's done, my lord. Cves. Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.
Why stay we then ? Tro. O Cressid ! 0 false Cressid ! false, f.lse, Tro. To make a recordation to my soul
false, Of every syllable that here was spoke.
Let all untruths stand by thy stained name, But, if I tell how these two did co-act,
And they'll seem glorious. Shall I not lie in publishing a truth?
0, contain yourself : Sith yet there is a credence in my heart,
Your passion draws ears hither.
Æne. I have been seeking you this hour, my Created only to calumniate.
lord : Was Cressid here?
Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy ; Ulyss.
I cannot conjure, Trojan. Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home. Tro. She was not, sure.
Tro. Have with you, prince: - My courteous Ulyss. Most sure she was.
lord, adieu : Tro. Why, my negation hatha no taste of madness. Farewell, revolted fair ! — and, Diomed, Ulyss. Nor mine, my lord : Cressid was here but Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head! now.
Ulyss. I'll bring you to the gates. Tro. Let it not be believ'd for womanhood !
Tro. Accept distracted thanks. Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage
(Ereunt TroilUS, Æneas, and Ulysses. To stubborn criticks — apt, without a theme,
Ther. 'Would, I could meet that
Diomed! For depravation, to square the general sex I would croak like a raven ; I would bode, I would By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid. bode. Patroclus will give me any thing for the inUlyss. What hath she done, prince, that can soil telligence of this whore : the parrot will not do our mothers ?
more for an almond, than he for a commodious Tro. Nothing at all, unless that this were she. drab. Lechery, lechery ; still, wars and lechery; Ther. Will he swagger himself out on's own nothing else holds fashion : A burning devil take eyes?
[Erit. Tro. This she? no, this is Diomed's Cressida: If beauty have a soul, this is not she;
SCENE III. Troy. Before Priam's Palace. If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimony,
Enter Hector and ANDROMACHE.
And. When was my lord so much ungently This was not she. O madness of discourse,
temper'd, That cause sets up with and against itself!
To stop his ears against admonishment ? Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt
Unarm, unarm, and do not fight to-day. Without perdition, and loss assume all reason
Hect. You train me to offend you ; get you in: Without revolt; this is, and is not, Cressid ! By all the everlasting gods, I'll go. Within my soul there doth commence a fight
And. My dreams will, sure, prove ominous to Of this strange nature, that a thing inseparate
the day. Divides more wider than the sky and earth ;
say. And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Where is my brother Hector ? Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates; And. Here, sister ; arm’d, and bloody in intent, Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven: Consort with me in loud and dear petition, Instance, O instance ! strong as heaven itself;
Pursue we him on knees; for I have dream'd The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolv'd, and Of bloody turbulence, and this whole night loos'd ;
Hath nothing been but shapes and forms of And with another knot, five-finger-tied,
slaughter. The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
Cas. 0, it is true. The fragments, scraps, the bits, and greasy reliques Hect.
Ho! bid my trumpet sound ! Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.
Cas. No notes of sally, for the heavens, sweet Ulyss. May worthy Troilus be half attach'd
brother. With that which here his passion doth express ? Hect. Begone, I say : the gods have heard me Tro. Ay, Greek ; and that shall be divulged well
Cas. The gods are deaf to hot and peevish vows • In characters as red as Mars his heart
They are polluted offerings, more abhorr'd
End. O! be persuaded : Do not count it holy
For we would give much, to use violent thefts, That sleeve is mine, that he'll bear on his helm; And rob in the behalf of charity. Were it a casque compos'd by Vulcan's skill,
Cas. It is the purpose, that makes strong the My sword should bite it: not the dreadful spout, Which shipmen do the hurricano call
But vows to every purpose must not hold: Constring'd in mass by the almighty sun,
Unarm, sweet Hector. Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear
Hold you still, I say ; In his descent, than shall my prompted sword Mine honour keeps the weather of my fate : Falling on Diomed.
Life every man holds dear; but the dear man Thor. He'll tickle it for his concupy.
Holds bonour far more precious dear than life.
Look, how thy wounds do bleed at many vents ! Enter TROILUS.
Hark, how Troy roars! how Hecuba cries out! How now, young man ? mean'st thou to fight to-day How poor Andromache shrills her dolours forth! And. Cassandra, call my father to persuade. Behold, destruction, frenzy, and amazement,
[Erit CassandRA. Like witless anticks, one another meet, Hect. No, 'faith, young Troilus; doff thy harness, And all cry Hector! Hector's dead! O Hector! youth,
Tro. Away! - Away! I am to-day i'the vein of chivalry:
Cas. Farewell. — Yet, soft. Hector, I take my Let grow thy sinews till their knots be strong,
leave : And tempt not yet the brushes of the war.
Thou dost thyself and all our Troy deceive. (Eril. Unarm thee, go; and doubt thou not, brave boy, Hect. You are amaz'd, my liege, at her exclaim : I'll stand, to-day, for thee, and me, and Troy. Go in, and cheer the town, we'll forth, and fight ;
Tro. Brother, you have a vice of mercy in you, Do deeds worth praise, and tell you them at night. Which better fits a lion, than a man.
Pri. Farewell : the gods with safety stand about Hect. What vice is that, good Troilus? chide me
thee ! for it.
[Exeunt severally Priam and Hector Tro. When many times the captive Grecians fall,
Alarums. Even in the fan and wind of your fair sword,
Tro. They are at it; hark! Proud Diomed, beYou bid them rise and live.
lieve, Hect. 0, 'tis fair play.
I come to lose my arm, or win my sleeve. Tro.
Fool's play, by heaven, Hector. Hect. How now ? how now?
As Troilus is going out, enter, from the other side, Tro. For the love of all the gods,
PANDARUS. Let's leave the hermit pity with our mother ;
Pan. Do you hear, my lord ? do you hear ? And when we have our armours buckled on,
Tro. What now?
Pan. A whoreson ptisick, a whoreson rascally Tro.
Hector, then 'tis wars. ptisick so troubles me, and the foolish fortune of Hect. Troilus, I would not have you fight to-day. this girl ; and what one thing, what another, that I Tro. Who should withhold me?
shall leave you one o'these days: And I have a rheum Not fate, obedience, nor the hand of Mars
in mine eyes too ; and such an ache in my bones, Beckoning with fiery truncheon my retire ;
that, unless a man were cursed, I cannot tell wbat Not Priamus, and Hecuba on knees,
to think on't. What says she there? Their eyes o'ergalled with recourse of tears;
Tro. Words, words, mere words, no matter from Nor you, my brother, with your true sword drawn,
the heart ;
[Tearing the letter. Oppos’d to hinder me, should stop my way, The effect doth operate another way. But by my ruin.
Go, wind, to wind, there turn and change toge
ther. Re-enter CASSANDRA, with Priam.
My love with words and errors still she feeds; Cas. Lay hold upon him, Priam, hold him fast : But edifies another with her deeds. He is thy crutch ; now if thou lose thy stay,
[Exeunt severally. Thou on him leaning, and all Troy on thee, Fall all together.
SCENE IV. - Between Troy and the Grecian Prie Come, Hector, come, go back :
Camp. Thy wife hath dream'd; thy mother hath had visions ;
Alarums : Ercurswns.
Enter THERSITES. Cassandra doth foresee; and I myself
Ther. Now they are clapper-clawing one another; Am like a prophet suddenly enrapt,
I'll go look on. That dissembling abominable varTo tell thee that this day is ominous :
let, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolisi Therefore, come back.
young knave's sleeve of Troy there in his helm : I Hect. Æneas is a-field;
would fain see them meet ; that that same young And I do stand engag'd to many Greeks,
Trojan ass, that loves the whore there, might send Even in the faith of valour, to appear
that Greekish whoremasterly villain, with the sleeve, This morning to them.
back to the dissembling luxurious drab, on a sleevePri.
But thou shalt not go. less errand. O'the other side, The policy of those Hect. I must not break my faith.
crafty swearing rascals, that stale old mouse-eaten You know me dutiful; therefore, dear sir,
dry cheese, Nestor ; and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, Let me not shame respect ; but give me leave - is not proved worth a blackberry : — They set me To take that course by your consent and voice, up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that Which you do here forbid me, royal Priam. dog of as bad a kind, Achilles; and now is the cur Cas. O Priam, yield not to him.
Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm And.
Do not, dear father. to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to proclain Hect. Anaromache, I am offended with you : barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion, Upon the love you bear me, get you in.
Soft! here come sleeve, and t'other.
[Erit ANDROMACHE. Tro. This foolisu, dreaming superstitious girl
Enter Diomedes, Troilus following. Makes all these bodements.
Tro. Fly not ; for, shouldst thou take the rivi
Thou dost miscall retire : That noseless, handless, hack'd and chipp'd, come I do not fly; but advantageous care
to him, Withdrew me from the odds of multitude :
Crying on Hector. Ajax hath lost a friend, Have at thee!
And foams at mouth, and he is arm'd, and at it, Ther. Hold thy whore, Grecian! - now for thy Roaring for Troilus; who hath done to-day whore, Trojan! - now the sleeve, now the sleeve ! Mad and fantastick execution ; (Ereunt Troilus and Diomedes, fighting. Engaging and redeeming of himself,
With such a careless force, and forceless care, Enter HECTOR.
As if that luck, in very spite of cunning, Hect. What art thou, Greek, art thou for Hec- Bade him win all. tor's match ?
Enter AJAX. Art thou of blood, and honour?
Ther. No, no: - I am a rascal; a scurvy railing Ajar. Troilus, thou coward Troilus ! [Er. knave; a very filthy rogue.
Ay, there, there. Hect. I do believe thee;- live.
Erit. Nest. So, so, we draw together.
Where is this Hector ? they have swallowed one another : I would laugh at Come, come, thou boy-queller, show thy face ; that miracle. Yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself.
Know what it is to meet Achilles angry. I'll seek them. [Erit. Hector ! where's Hector ? I will none but Hector.
[Ereunt. SCENE V. The same.
SCENE VI. - Another Part of the Field. Enter Diomedes and a Servant.
Enter AJAX. Dio. Go, go, my servant, take thou Troilus' horse;
Ajar. Troilus, thou coward Troilus, show thy Present the fair steed to my lady Cressid :
head! Fellow, commend my service to her beauty ; Tell her, I have chastis'd the amorous Trojan,
Dro. Troilus, I say! where's Troilus ?
What would'st thou ? [Erit Servant. Dio. I would correct him.
djar. Were I the general, thou should'st have
Tro. O traitor Diomed! turn thy false face, Epistrophus and Cedius: Polixenes is slain ;
thou traitor, Amphimacus, and Thoas, deadly hurt ;
And pay thy life thou ow'st me for my horse : Patroclus ta’en, or slain ; and Palamedes
Dio. Ha! art thou there? Sore hurt and bruis'd : the dreadful Sagittary Ajar. I'll fight with him alone : stand, Diomed. Appals our numbers ; haste we, Diomed,
Dio. He is my prize. I will not look upon. To reinforcement, or we perish all.
Tro. Come both, you cogging Greeks; have at
(Exeunt fighting Enter NESTOR.
Hect. Yea, Troilus ? O well fought, my youngest There is a thousand Hectors in the field :
brother! Now here he fights on Galathe his horse, And there lacks work ; anon, he's there afoot,
Enler ACHILLES. And there they fly, or die, like scaled sculls
Achu. Now ao I see thee :-Ha-Have at thee, Before the belching whale ; then is he yonder,
Hector. And there the strawy Greeks, ripe for his edge, Hect. Pause, if thou wilt. Fall down before him, like the mower's swath . Achil. I do disdain they courtesy, proud Trojan. Here, there, and every where, he leaves, and Be happy, that my arms are out of use : takes;
My rest and negligence befriend thee now, Dexterity so obeying appetite,
But thou anon shalt hear of me again; That what he will, he does; and does so much,
Till when, go seek thy fortune.
[Erit. That proof is call'd impossibility.
Fare thee well :
I would have been much more a fresher man,
Had I expected thee. - How now, my brother ? Ulyss. O courage, courage, princes! great
He shall not carry him ; I'll be taken too,