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Dro. S. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell.
A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff;
A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands
The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry foot well;
One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to
SCENE III. The same.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse.
Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth
As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.
Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of Old Adam new apparelled?
Ant. S. What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's-skin that was killed for the prodigal ; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
Ant. S. I understand thee not.
Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike.
Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer?
It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes you sent for, to deliver you.
Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear.
Dro. S. O yes. If any hour meet a sergeant, a'turns back for very fear.
Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost
Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more
Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight;
And bring thy master home immediately. Come, sister; I am press'd down with conceit; Conceit, my comfort, and my injury. [Exeunt.
Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest!
Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone?
Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that
Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I ;
Enter a Courtezan.
Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus.
Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee tempt me
Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan?
Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench ; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her.
Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry,
Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here. Dro. S. Master, if you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.
Ant. S. Why, Dromio?
Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil.
Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me
Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress :
Cour. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring of one's
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
A nut, a cherry-stone; but she, more covetous,
Master, be wise; an' if you give it her,
by my long ears.
I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows: when I am cold, he heats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcomed home with it, when I return nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat: and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
Cour. I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain; I hope, you do not mean to cheat me so. Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
Dro S. Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress, that you know.
[Exeunt ANT. S. and DRO. S. Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad, Else would he never so demean himself: A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, And for the same he promis'd me a chain; Both one, and other, he denies me now, The reason that I gather he is mad, (Besides this present instance of his rage,) Is a mad tale, he told to-day at dinner, Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. Belike, his wife, acquainted with his fits, On purpose shut the doors against his way. My way is now, to hie home to his house, And tell his wife, that, being lunatick, He rush'd into my house, and took perforce My ring away: This course I fittest choose; For forty ducats is too much to lose.
SCENE IV. The same.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an Officer. Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break away:
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money
Enter DROMIO of Ephesus, with a rope's end. Here comes my man; I think, he brings the money. How now, sir? have you that I sent you for? Dro. E. Here's that, I warrant you, will pay
Ant. E. But where's the money?
rate. Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
Dro. E. To a rope's end, sir; and to that end am I return'd.
Ant. E. And to that end, sir, I will welcome [Beating him.
Off. Good sir, be patient.
Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
Off. Good now, hold thy tongue.
Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
Ant. E. Thou whoreson, senseless villain ! Dro. E. I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.
Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.
Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it
Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein, | And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it. And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy. Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd Ant. E. Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to Home to my house. ·O most unhappy day! Ant. E. O most unhappy strumpet!
Dro. E. Master, I am here enter'd in bond for
Adr. Alas! I sent you money to redeem you. By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
Dro. E. Money by me? heart and good-will you might,
Adr. He came to me, and I deliver'd it.
Luc. And I am witness with her, that she did. Dro. E. God and the rope-maker, bear me wit
But, surely, master, not a rag of money.
Ant. E. Went'st not thou to her for a purse of Good master; cry, the devil.
That I was sent for nothing but a rope!
Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth. Dro. E. And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold; But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out. Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in
Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all; And art confederate with a damned pack, To make a loathsome abject scorn of me: But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes, That would behold me in this shameful sport.
[PINCH and his Assistants bind ANT. E. and DRO. E. Adr. O, bind him, bind him, let him not come
Pinch. More company; - the fiend is strong within him.
Luc. Ah me, poor man! how pale and wan he looks!
Ant. E. What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou, I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them To make a rescue?
Off Masters, let him go: He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him. Pinch. Go, bind this man, for he is frantick too. Adr. What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer? Hast thou delight to see a wretched man Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
Off. He is my prisoner; if I let him go, The debt he owes, will be requir'd of me.
Adr. I will discharge thee, ere I go from thee: Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
you. Ant. E. Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?
Dro. E. Will you be bound for nothing? be mad,
Luc. God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk! Adr. Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with
[Exeunt PINCH and Assistants, with ANT. E. and DRO. E.
Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
Off. One Angelo, a goldsmith; Do you know
Adr. I know the man: What is the sum he owes
Say, how grows it due? Off. Due for a chain, your husband had of him. Adr. He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it
Cour. When as your husband, all in rage, to-day Came to my house, and took away my ring, (The ring I saw upon his finger now,) Straight after, did I meet him with a chain.
Adr. It may be so, but I did never see it : Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is, I long to know the truth hereof at large. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, with his rapier drawn, and ĎROMIO of Syracuse.
Luc. God, for thy mercy! they are loose again. Adr. And come with naked swords; let's call more help, To have them bound again.
Away, they'll kill us. [Exeunt Officer, ADR. and Luc. Ant. S. I see, these witches are afraid of swords. Dro. S. She, that would be your wife, now ran from you.
Ant. S. Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence :
I long, that we were safe and sound aboard.
Dro. S. Faith, stay here this night, they will surely do us no harm; you saw, they spea us fair, give us gold methinks, they are such a gentle nation, that but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to stay here still, and turn witch.
Ant. S. I will not stay to night for all the town; Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard. [Exeunt.
Second to none that lives here in the cit,;
Enter ANTIPHOLUS and DROMIO of Syracuse. Ang. 'Tis so; and that self chain about his neck, Which he foreswore, most monstrously, to have. Good sir, draw near to me, I'll speak to him. Signior Antipholus, I wonder much
That you would put me to this shame and trouble;
Ant. S. I think, I had; I never did deny it.
Fye on thee, wretch! 'tis pity, that thou liv'st To walk where any honest men resort.
Ant. S. Thou art a villain to impeach me thus: I'll prove mine honour and mine honesty Against thee presently, if thou dar'st stand.
Mer. I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.
[They draw. Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, Courtezan, and others. Adr. Hold, hurt him not, for God's sake; he is mad;
Some get within him, take his sword away:
In, or we are spoil'd.
Abb. Be quiet, people; Wherefore throng you hither?
Adr. To fetch my poor distracted husband hence : Let us come in, that we may bind him fast, And bear him home for his recovery.
Ang. I knew, he was not in his perfect wits. Mer. I am sorry now, that I did draw on him. Abb. How long hath this possession held the man? Adr. This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad, And much, much different from the man he was; But, till this afternoon, his passion Ne'er brake into extremity of rage.
Abb. Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck at sea?
Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye
Adr. To none of these, except it be the last; Namely, some love, that drew him oft from home. Abb. You should for that have reprehended him. Adr. Why, so I did. Abb. Ay, but not rough enough. Adr. As roughly, as my modesty would let me. Abb. Haply, in private.
And in assemblies too.
Adr. Abb. Ay, but not enough. Adr. It was the copy of our conference : In bed, he slept not for my urging it; At board, he fed not for my urging it; Alone, it was the subject of my theme; In company, I often glanced it;
Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.
And therefore comes it, that his head is light. Thou say'st, his meat was sauc'd with thy upbraid ings:
Unquiet meals make ill digestions,
Thereof the raging fire of fever bred;
Luc. She never reprehended him but mildly, When he demean'd himself rough, rude and wildly.— Why bear you these rebukes, and answer not?
Adr. She did betray me to my own reproof. Good people, enter, and lay hold on him.
Abb. No, not a creature enters in my house. Adr. Then, let your servants bring my husband forth.
Abb. Neither; he took this place for sanctuary
Adr. I will attend my husband, be his nurse,
Abb. And thereof came it, that the man was mad: The venom clamours of a jealous woman Poison more deadly than a mad dog's tooth.
seems, his sleeps were hinder'd by thy railing:
Abb. Be patient: for I will not let him stir, Till I have used the approved means I have, With wholesome syrups, drugs, and holy prayer, To make of him a formal man again :
It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,
Therefore depart, and leave him here with me.
Adr. I will not hence, and leave my husband here; And ill it doth beseem your holiness, To separate the husband and the wife.
Abb. Be quiet, and depart, thou shalt not have
Mer. By this, I think, the dial points at five:
Ang. Upon what cause?
Mer. To see a reverend Syracusan merchant,
Ang. See, where they come; we will behold his death. Luc. Kneel to the duke, before he pass the abbey. Enter DUKE, attended; ÆGEON, bare-headed; with the Headsman and other Officers.
Duke. Yet once again proclaim it publickly,
Adr. Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess!
By rushing in their houses, bearing thence
Enter a Servant.
Serv. O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself! My master and his man are both broke loose, Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor, Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire; And ever as it blazed, they threw on him Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair: My master preaches patience to him, while His man with scissars nicks him like a fool : And, sure, unless you send some present help, Between them they will kill the conjurer.
Adr. Peace, fool, thy master and his man are here; And that is false, thou dost report to us.
Serv. Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true; I have not breath'd almost, since I did see it. He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you, To scorch your face, and to disfigure you : [Cry within. Hark, hark, I hear him, mistress; fly, be gone. Duke. Come, stand by me, fear nothing: Guard with halberds.
Adr. Ah me, it is my husband! Witness you That he is borne about invisible: Even now we hous'd him in the abbey here; And now he's there, past thought of human reason.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS and DROMIO of Ephesus. Ant. E. Justice, most gracious duke, oh, grant me justice!
Even for the service that long since I did thee,
Ege. Unless the fear of death doth make me dote, I see my son Antipholus, and Dromio.
Ant. E. Justice, sweet prince, against that wo man there.
She whom thou gav'st to me to be my wife;
That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.
Ang. O perjur'd woman! they are both forsworn. In this the madman justly chargeth them.
Ant. E. My liege, I am advised what I say; Neither disturb'd with the effect of wine, Nor heady-rash, provok'd with raging ire, Albeit, my wrongs might make one wiser mad. This woman lock'd me out this day from dinner : That goldsmith there, were he not pack'd with her, Could witness it, for he was with me then; Who parted with me to go fetch a chain, Promising to bring it to the Porcupine, Where Balthazar and I did dine together. Our dinner done, and he not coming thither, I went to seek him: In the street I met him ; And in his company, that gentleman. There did this perjur'd goldsmith swear me down, That I this day of him receiv'd the chain,
Which, God he knows, I saw not: for the which,
I did obey; and sent my peasant home
To go in person with me to my house.
My wife, her sister, and a rabble more
A thread-bare juggler, and a fortune-teller ;
For these deep shames, and great indignities.
Ang. My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him;
That he dined not at home, but was lock'd out. Duke. But had he such a chain of thee, or no? Ang. He had, my lord: and when he ran in here, These people saw the chain about his neck.