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Hol. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon: the word is well cull'd, chose; sweet and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure.
Noth. Laus Deo bone intelligo.
Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentleman; and my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend: — For what is inward between us, let it pass: I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy ;- I beseech Hol. Bone? -bone, for benè: Priscian a little thee, apparel thy head; and among other importuscratch'd; 'twill serve. nate and most serious designs, and of great import indeed, too; but let that pass: for I must tell thee, it will please his grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder; and with his royal finger, thus, dally with my excrement, with my mustachio but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable; some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world but let that pass. The very all of all is,— but, sweet heart, I do implore secrecy, that the king would have me present the princess, sweet chuck, with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antick, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the curate and your sweet self, are good at such eruptions, and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your assistance.
Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine worthies. Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of You this day, to be rendered by our assistance, - the king's command, and this most gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, - before the princess; I say, none so fit as to present the nine worthies.
Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
speak, dout, fine, when he should say, doubt; det, when he should pronounce debt; d, e, b, t; not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf; half, hauf; neighbour, vocatur, nebour; neigh, abbreviated, ne : This is abhominable, (which he would call abominable,) it insinuateth me of insanie; Ne intelligis domine? to make frantick, lunatick.
Enter ARMADO, MOTH, and COSTARD.
Nath. Videsne quis venit?
Hol. Video, et gaudeo.
Hol. Quare Chirra, not sirrah?
Moth. They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps. [To COSTARD aside. Cost. O, they have lived long in the alms-basket of words! I marvel, thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon.
Moth. Peace; the peal begins.
Arm. Monsieur, [to HoL.] are you not letter'd? Moth. Yes, yes; he teaches boys the horn-book ;— What is a, b, spelt backward with a horn on his head? Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
Moth. Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn: hear his learning.
Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant?
Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I.
Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, i.
Moth. The sheep: the other two concludes it; o, u. Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit: snip, snap, quick and home; it rejoiceth my intellect : true wit.
Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man ; which is wit-old.
Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure?
Hol. Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy gig.
Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your infamy circùm circà; A gig of
a cuckold's horn!
Cost. An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an the heavens were so pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou make me! Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers' ends, as they say.
Hol. O, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem.
Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
Arm. Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and affection, to congratulate the princess at her pavilion, in the posteriors of this day; which the rude multitude call, the afternoon.
Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallant gentleman, Judas Maccabæus; this swain, because of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the great; the page, Hercules.
Arm. Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
Hol. Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
Moth. An excellent device! so, if any of the audience hiss, you may cry well done, Hercules ! now thou crushest the snake! that is the way to make an offence gracious; though few have the grace to do it.
Another part of the same. Before
Enter the PRINCESS, KATHARINE, ROSALINE, and
Prin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart.
As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
Ros. That was the way to make his god-head wax;
Kath. Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
Kath. He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy ;
Kath. A light condition in a beauty dark.
I would, you knew?
Ros. Much, in the letters; nothing in the praise.
Ros. 'Ware pencils! How? let me not die your
Kath. A pox of that jest! and beshrew all shrows!
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Prin. I think no less: Dost thou not wish in
The chain were longer, and the letter short?
Prin. We are wise girls, to mock our lovers so.
ville; The letter is too long by half a mile.
O, that I knew he were but in by the week!
Prin. None are so surely caught, when they are
As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,
Ros. The blood of youth burns not with such
As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
Mar. Folly in fools bears not so strong a note,
Prin. Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
Prin. Thy news, Boyet?
That well by heart hath con'd his embassage :
Mar. This, and these pearls, to me sent Longa- | Cry'd, Via ! we will do't, come what will come :
The third he caper'd and cried, All goes well.
That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
Prin. But what, but what, come they to visit us? Boyet. They do, they do; and are apparel'd thus, Like Muscovites, or Russians: as I guess, Their purpose is, to parle, to court, and dance : And every one his love-feat will advance Unto his several mistress; which they'll know By favours several, which they did bestow.
Prin. And will they so? the gallants shall be task'd:
For, ladies, we will every one be mask'd;
Ros. Come on then; wear the favours most in sight.
Ross. But shall we dance, if they desire us to't? Prin. No; to the death, we will not move a foot:
Moth. They do not mark me, and that brings me
Biron. Is this your perfectness? be gone, you
Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace : But, while 'tis spoke, each turn away her face. Boyet. Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
Prin. Therefore I do it; and, I make no doubt, The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out. There's no such sport, as sport by sport o'erthrown; To make theirs ours, and ours none but our own: So shall we stay, mocking intended game; And they well mock'd, depart away with shame. [Trumpets sound within. Boyet. The trumpet sounds; be mask'd, the maskers come. [The ladies mask. Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DuMAIN, in Russian habits and masked; MOTH, Musicians, and Attendants.
Moth. All hail the richest beauties on the earth! Boyet. Beauties no richer than rich taffata. Moth. A holy parcel of the fairest dames, [The ladies turn their backs to him. That ever turn'd their — backs · -to mortal views! Biron. Their eyes villain, their eyes. Moth. That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views! Out
(Those clouds remov'd,) upon our wat'ry eyne.
Ros. O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter; Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water. King. Then, in our measure do but vouchsafe one change:
Thou bid'st me beg; this begging is not strange. Ros. Play, musick, then: nay, you must do it [Musick plays. change I like the
Not yet; no dance: — thus
King. Will you not dance? How come you thus estrang'd?
Ros. You took the moon at full; but now she's chang'd.
King. Yet still she is the moon, and I the man. The musick plays; vouchsafe some motion to it. Ros. Our ears vouchsafe it.
But your legs should do it. Ros. Since you are strangers, and come here by chance, We'll not be nice: take hands; -we will not dance.
King. More measure of this measure; be not nice.
Ros. We can afford no more at such a price. King. Prize you yourselves; What buys your company? Your absence only. That can never be. Ros. Then cannot we be bought and so adieu ; Twice to your visor, and half once to you! King. If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat. Ros. In private then. king. I am best pleas'd with that. [They converse apart. Biron. White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
Prin. Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is three.
Biron. Nay then, two treys, (an if you grow so nice,) Metheglin, wort, and malmsey ; — Well, run, dice! There's half a dozen sweets.
Prin. Seventh sweet, adieu! Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you. Biron. One word in secret. Prin.
Biron. Thou griev'st my gall.
Let it not be sweet.
Therefore meet. [They converse apart. Dum. Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word? Mar. Name it. Dum. Fair lady,
[They converse apart. Kath. What, was your visor made without a tongue?
Long. I know the reason, lady, why you ask. Kath. O, for your reason! quickly, sir; I long. Long. You have a double tongue within your mask,
Say you so? Fair lord,
And would afford my speechless visor half. King: Veal, quoth the Dutchman ; Is not veal a calf?
Long. A calf, fair lady?
Kath. No, a fair lord calf. Long. Let's part the word. Kath. No, I'll not be your half : Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox. Long. Look, how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks!
Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so. Kath. Then die a calf, before your horns do grow. Long. One word in private with you, ere I die. Kath. Bleat softly then, the butcher hears you cry. [They converse apart. Boyet. The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor's edge invisible, Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen; Above the sense of sense: so sensible Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings, Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.
Ros. Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.
Biron. By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff":
king. Farewell, inad wenches; you have simple wits.
[Exeunt KING, Lords, MOTH, Musick, and Attendants.
Prin. Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovites. Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at ' Boyet. Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out.
Ros. Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
Prin. O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout! Will they not, think you, hang themselves to night? Or ever, but in visors, show their faces? This pert Birón was out of countenance quite. Ros. O they were all in lamentable cases! The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.
Prin. Birón did swear himself out of all suit. Mar. Dumain was at my service, and his sword: No point, quoth I; my servant straight was mute. Kath. Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart; And trow you, what he call'd me?
Kath. Yes, in good faith.
But will you hear? the king is my love sworn.
Prin. How blow? how blow? speak to be under. stood.
Boyet. Fair ladies, mask'd, are roses in their bud: Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown, Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
Prin. Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do, If they return in their own shapes to woo?
Ros. Good madam, if by me you'll be advis'd, Let's mock them still, as well known, as disguis'd: Let us complain to them what fools were here, Disguis'd like Muscovites, in shapeless gear; And wonder, what they were; and to what end Their shallow shows, and prologue vilely penn'd, And their rough carriage so ridiculous, Should be presented at our tent to us.
Boyet. Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand. Prin. Whip to our tents, as roes run over land.
[Exeunt PRINCESS, ROS. KATH. and MARIA. Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habis.
King. Fair sir, God save you! Where is the princess?
Boyet. Gone to her tent: Please it your majesty, Command me any service to her thither?
King. That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
Boyet. I will; and so will she, I know, my lord. Erit. Biron. This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons peas And utters it again when God doth please:
He is wit's pedler; and retails his warce
King. A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
That put Armado's page out of his part!
Biron. See where it comes!
wert thou, Till this man show'd thee? and what art thou now? King. All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day! Prin. Fair, in all hail, is foul, as I conceive. King. Construe my speeches better, if you may. Prin. Then wish me better, I will give you leave. King. We came to visit you; and purpose now To lead you to our court: vouchsafe it then. Prin. This field shall hold me; and so hold your
- Behaviour, what
Nor God, nor I, delight in perjur'd men. King. Rebuke me not for that which you provoke; The virtue of your eye must break my oath. Prin. You nick-name virtue: vice you should have spoke;
For virtue's office never breaks men's troth.
A world of torments though I should endure,
I would not yield to be your house's guest: So much I hate a breaking-cause to be Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity. King. O, you have liv'd in desolation here,
Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame. Prin. Not so, my lord, it is not so, I swear;
We have had pastimes here, and pleasant game; A mess of Russians left us but of late.
Ros. This proves you wise and rich, for in my
Biron. I am a fool, and full of poverty.
Ros. But that you take what doth to you belong, It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue. Biron. O, I am yours, and all that I possess. Ros. All the fool mine? Biron.
I cannot give you less. Ros. Which of the visors was it, that you wore ? Biron. Where? when? what visor? why demand you this?
Ros. There, then, that visor; that superfluous case, That hid the worse, and show'd the better face.
King. How, madam? Russians? Prin. Ay, in truth, my lord; Trim gallants, full of courtship, and of state. Ros. Madam, speak true: - It is not so my lord; My lady (to the manner of the days,) In courtesy, gives undeserving praise. We four, indeed, confronted here with four In Russian habit; here they staid an hour, And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord, They did not bless us with one happy word. I dare not call them fools; but this I think, When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
Biron. This jest is dry to me.—Fair, gentle sweet, Your wit makes wise things foolish; when we greet With eyes best seeing heaven's fiery eye, By light we lose light: Your capacity Is of that nature, that to your huge store Wise things seem foolish, and rich things but poor.