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Cost. The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose;

that's flat.

Sir, your penny worth is good, an your goose be fat. To sell a bargain well, is as cunning as fast and loose. Let me see a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.

Arm. Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?

Moth. By saying that a Costard was broken in a shin. Then call'd you for the l'envoy.

Cost. True, and I for a plantain; thus came your argument in;

Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought; And he ended the market.

Arm. But tell me; how was there a Costard broken in a shin?

Moth. I will tell you sensibly.

Cost. Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth. I will speak that l'envoy.

I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Fell over the threshold, and broke my shin.

Arm. We will talk no more of this matter.
Cost. Till there be more matter in the shin.
Arm. Sirrah Costard, marry, I will enfranchise thee.
Cost. Oh! marry me to one Frances. I smell some
l'envoy, some goose, in this.

Arm. By my sweet soul, I mean, setting thee at liberty, enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured, restrained, captivated, bound.

Cost. True, true; and now you will be my purgation, and let me loose.

Arm. I give thee thy liberty, set thee free from durance; and, in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this. Bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta. There is remuneration; [Giving him money.] for the best ward of mine honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow. [Exit.

Moth. Like the sequel, I.-Signior Costard, adieu. Cost. My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony


[Exit MOTH.

Now I will look to his remuneration. Remuneration! Oh! that's the Latin word for three farthings; three farthings-remuneration. What's the price of this inkle? a penny. No, I'll give you a remuneration. Why, it carries it. Remuneration!-why, it is a fairer name than a French crown. I will never buy and sell out of this word.


Ber. O my good knave Costard! exceedingly well


Cost. Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for a remuneration?

Ber. What is a remuneration?

Cost. Marry, sir, half-penny farthing.

Ber. Oh! Why then, three-farthings-worth of silk.
Cost. I thank your worship. God be wi' you!
Ber. Oh! Stay, slave; I must employ thee.
As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,
Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.
Cost. When would you have it done, sir?
Ber. Oh! This afternoon.

Cost. Well, I will do it, sir. Fare you well.
Ber. Oh! Thou knowest not what it is.
Cost. I shall know, sir, when I have done it.
Ber. Why, villain, thou must know first.

Cost. I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.

Ber. It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this;

The Princess comes to hunt here in the park,

And in her train there is a gentle lady;

When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her


And Rosaline they call her. Ask for her;
And to her white hand see thou do commend
This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon; go.

[Gives him money.

Cost. Guerdon, -O sweet guerdon! better than

remuneration; eleven-pence farthing better. Most sweet guerdon!-—I will do it, sir, in print.-Guerdon [Exit. Ber. Oh! And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been Love's whip,


A very beadle to a humorous sigh,
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o'er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!

This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy;
This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
Regent of love-rimes, lord of folded arms,
Th' anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator, and great general

Of trotting paritors-Oh, my little heart!—
And I to be a corporal of his field,

And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop!
What I! I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
A woman that is like a German clock,
Still a repairing; ever out of frame,
And never going aright; being a watch,
But being watch'd that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjur'd, which is worst of all;
And, among three, to love the worst of all;
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed,
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.

Well, I will love, will write, sigh, pray, sue, groan;
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. [Exit.


SCENE I. Another part of the same.

Enter the Princess, ROSALINE, Maria, Katherine, BOYET, Lords, Attendants, and a Forester.


AS that the King, that spurr'd his horse so hard

Against the steep uprising of the hill?

Boyet. I know not; but, I think,it was not he.
Prin. Whoe'er 'a was, 'a shew'd a mounting mind.
Well, lords, to-day we shall have our despatch;
On Saturday we will return to France.-
Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush,
That we must stand and play the murderer in?
For. Here by, upon the edge of yonder coppice;
A stand, where you may make the fairest shoot.
Prin. I thank my beauty, I am fair that shoot,
And thereupon thou speak'st, the fairest shoot.
For. Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so.
Prin. What, what! first praise me, then again say,

O short-liv'd pride! Not fair? alack for woe!
For. Yes, madam, fair.
Nay, never paint me now
Where fair is not, praise cannot mend the brow.
Here, good my glass, take this for telling true;
[Giving him money.
Fair payment for foul words is more than due.
For. Nothing but fair is that which you inherit.
Prin. See, see, my beauty will be sav d by merit.
O heresy in fair, fit for these days!

A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.—
But come, the bow:-now mercy goes to kill,
And shooting well is then accounted ill.

Thus will I save my credit in the shoot:

Not wounding, pity would not let me do't;
If wounding, then it was to shew my skill,
That more for praise, than purpose, meant to kill.
And, out of question, so it is sometimes;
Glory grows guilty of detested crimes,

When, for fame's sake, for praise, an outward part,
We bend to that the working of the heart:
As I, for praise alone, now seek to spill

The poor deer's blood, that my heart means no ill.
Boyet. Do not curst wives hold that self-sovereignty
Only for praise' sake, when they strive to be
Lords o'er their lords?

Prin. Only for praise; and praise we may afford To any lady that subdues a lord.


Here comes a member of the commonwealth.

Cost. God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head-lady?

Prin. Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.

Cost. Which is the greatest lady, the highest?
Prin. The thickest, and the tallest.

Cost. The thickest, and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.

An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit, One of these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit. Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest


Prin. What's your will, sir? what's your will? Cost. I have a letter from Monsieur Berowne, to one Lady Rosaline.

Prin. Oh! thy letter, thy letter; he's a good friend

of mine:

Stand aside, good bearer.-Boyet, you can carve; Break up this capon.


I am bound to serve.This letter is mistook, it importeth none here; It is writ to Jaquenetta.


We will read it, I swear.

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