THE ORIENTAL RAMBLER. No. 1. The Vision of Polyphilus. "One said, he was indeed but five foot at present, but represented that he should soon exceed that proportion, his periwig-maker and shoe-maker having lately promised him three inches more betwixt them: another alleged he was so unfortunate, as to have one leg shorter than the other, and whoever had determined his stature to five foot, had taken him at a disadvantage: for when he was mounted on the other leg, he was at least five foot two inches and a half. There were some who questioned the exactness of our measures." THE SHORT Club. Pope's Letter to Nestor Ironside, Esq, "Tis strangely impertinent for people to busy themselves so." Sheridan's School for Scandal. THE Oriental Rambler,-there is certainly a great deal in a name, I suppose we are to have frequently an amusing instructive essay like those in the great original,—such may be the exclamation of the public when they view the modest title of this work; and there is no saying what may be the intentions of Polyphilus when he shall have related the spirit of his dream. It is written in the true spirit of Plagiarism, but he has been obliged "to tell the tale as it was told to him." While musing one evening on the prosperity of a large empire which since the conclusion of the 16th century, through the wisdom and bra very of Britannia, has been attaining great wealth and power, being weary, I fell back in my chair and dreamt that I was at a tea party in that famous land; many were seated there with whom I was well acquainted, soon however the domestic scene was interrupted, by the sudden entrance of four strangers, whom the hostess immediately invited to partake of the evening repast, they were dressed in black, and genius had stamped his image on the brow of each of them; their names will be easily discovered by their conversation; it was not long before my curiosity to hear them speak was satisfied; "there is certainly a useful but a severe tax exists in this country on those who are the greatest favourites of the other sex, and the assessments are according to the number and nature of the favours they have received" said one whose face was a compound of gravity and humour; "you are alluding I suppose to that Humane Society” said a stout gentleman, "we were visiting to-day they were travellers for mere curiosity) whose present occupation is in mending in its old age the follies which have been committed in its youth, you observe somewhere in your works that "that is the chief employment of wise men in their dotage:" "and the purse must be replenished, with bullion, rupees, pagodas," added another who was a middling-sized gentleman, laughing. "Here's gratitude for 12,000 pounds, affidavits and Indian crackers, I heard some of the subscribers shouting out," continued he. "On the very door of the institution," said one of them who was a little gentleman, and had not yet spok"should be written," en, "Take nature's path and mad opinions leave, All states can reach it and all heads conceive." The couplet was received with great applause by the other three gentlemen; my friends ap-. peared not to understand what they were talking about; but I now heard the witty gentleman who had spoken third, start a new subject of conversation which was much relished, especially by the ladies; I might have placed the scene of my "School for Scandal" here, said he, what think ye Doctor? (addressing the stout gentleman who had spoken second in the previous conversation), has this country its share of scandal as well as the others? I cannot, replied the Doctor "wholly clear the people of this country from the charge of scandal, but must however observe in favour of the modish prattlers, that if not by principle we are at least by accident, less guilty of defamation than the country ladies,” Well! said a very young lady whose name was Maria, and who now spoke for the first time, "I'll not debate how far scandal may be allowable; but in a man, I am sure, it is always contemptible. We have pride, envy, rivalship, and a thousand little motives to depreciate each other, but the male slanderer must have the cowardice of a woman before he can traduce one." “ Two women seldom grow intimate, but at the expense of a third person" said the little crooked gentleman. "Turn that little man out" cried the young lady, the grave and humorous gentleman immediately obeyed, and he was ejected forthwith, but this gentleman and his two friends soon followed the Baby Juvenal, and as I looked out I beheld a golden car in which they were all seated, and in which I saw them ascend to the temple of Minerva; 'twas then I awoke, and behold it was a dream! a few days after having seen the vision, I discovered from a work on dreaming that it is occasioned sometimes if not always by interesting circumstances agitating the mind, it immediately occurred to me, that money being in great requisition, had caused the first part of my dream, and the proneness of the ladies to coin scandal the other. Thursday, Dec. 28, 1843. POLYPHILUS. No. 2. Almack's in India. It was a spell-touch'd hour. That gorgeous hall, and there were golden curls Like sudden sunshine; and dark braids whose pearls Miss Landon's Poems. Hail graceful quadrille "spirit-stirring waltz" all hail, "Muse of the many twinkling feet" as Byron names thee; sweet Terpsichore allow me to sing thy praise in a foreign clime; an Indian ball, now there lies the mistake, it is not an Indian but an English ball transferred to India; there can be no difference, the same bright eyes illume the room and torture the men, the same fair complexions although the rose may only have left his shadow there, the same rules of etiquette as drawn up and signed by my Lord Chesterfield, the same freedom with the antipodes, the same vain mockery and tinselry of fashion, the same headaches and languid paleness on the following morning, the same ill humour and short answers the whole of the next day; but there is one thing in which an Oriental ball excels an English one, |