The Grecian Camp. Before ACHILLES' Tent.
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.

Achil. I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night, Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.

Patr. Here comes Thersites.

Achil.

Enter THERSITES.

Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news?
Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and
idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.
Achil. From whence, fragment?

Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy..
Patr. Who keeps the tent now?

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Ther. The surgeon's box, or the patient's wound. Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks?

Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.

Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that?

Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, lime-kilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

Patr. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus?

Ther. Do I curse thee?

Patr. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.

Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleive silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies; diminutives of nature!

Patr. Out, gall!

Ther. Finch-egg!

Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite
From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.
Here is a letter from queen Hecuba;

A token from her daughter, my fair love;
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep

An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:
Fall, Greeks; fail, fame; honour, or go, or stay;
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.-
Come, come, Thersities, help to trim my tent:
This night in banqueting must all be spent.
Away, Patroclus. [Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus.
Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain,
these two may run mad; but if with too much brain,
and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen.
Here's Agamemnon, an honest fellow enough, and one
that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as ear-
wax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there,
his brother, the bull, the primitive statue,-and oblique

memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg,-to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox, were nothing: he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care: but to be Menelaus,-I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus.-Hey-day! spirits and fires!

Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMED, with Lights.

Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong.

Ajax.

There, where we see the lights.

Hect.

No, yonder 'tis ;

I trouble you.

Here comes himself to guide you.

Enter ACHILLES.

Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all. Agam. So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night. Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.

Hect. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' general. Men. Good night, my lord.

Hect.

Good night, sweet Menelaus. Ther. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet sink,

sweet sewer.

Achil. Good night,

And welcome, both to those that go, or tarry.

Agam. Good night.

[Exeunt Agam. and Men.

Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed,

Keep Hector company an hour or two.

Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.-Good night, great Hector. Hect. Give me your hand.

Ulyss.

Follow his torch, he goes

[Aside to Troilus.

To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.

Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me.
Hect.

And so good night. [Exit Diomed; Ulysses und Troilus following. Achil. Come, come, enter my tent.

[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretel it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog him: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after.-Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets! [Exit.

SCENE 11. The same. Before CALCHAS' Tent.

Enter DIOMedes.

Dio. What, are you up here, ho? speak.
Cal. [Within] Who calls?

Dio. Diomed.-Calchas, I think.-Where's your daughter?

Cal. [Within] She comes to you.

Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them, THERSITES.

Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us.

Enter CRESSIDA.

Tro. Cressid come forth to him!

Cres. Now, my sweet guardian!-Hark! a word with

Dio.

How now, my charge?

[Whispers.

you.

Tro. Yea, so familiar!

Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.

Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take her

cliff; she's noted.

Dio. Will you remember?

Cres.

Dio..

Remember? yes.

Nay, but do then;

And let your mind be coupled with your words.
Tro. What should she remember?

Ulyss. List!

Cres. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly. Ther. Roguery!

Dio. Nay, then,—

Cres.

I'll tell you what:

Dio. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin: You are forsworn.— Cres. In faith, I cannot: What would you have me do?

Ther. A juggling trick, to be-secretly open.

Dio. What did you swear you would bestow on me? Cres. I pr'ythee, do'not hold me to mine oath; Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.

Dio. Good night.

Tro..

Ulyss.

Cres.

Hold, patience!

How now, Trojan?

Diomed,

Dio. No, no, good night: I'll be your fool no more.

Tro. Thy better must.

Cres.'

Hark! one word in your ear.

Tro. O plague and madness!

Ulyss. You are mov'd, prince; let us depart, I pray

you,

Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
To wrathful terms: this place is dangerous;
The time right deadly; beseech you, go.
Tro. Behold, I pray you!

Ulyss.

You flow to great destruction; come, my lord.

Now, good, my lord, go off:

You have not patience; come.

Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's torments, I will not speak a word.

Dio.

And so, good night.