In other arms than hers,-to him this challenge. If none, he'll say in Troy, when he retires, Agam. This shall be told our lovers, lord Æneas; That one meets Hector; if none else, I am he. One noble man, that hath one spark of fire Agam. Fair lord Æneas, let me touch your hand; Achilles shall have word of this intent: So shall each lord of Greece, from tent to tent: And find the welcome of a noble foe. Ulyss. Nestor, [Exeunt all but ULYSSES and NESTOR. Nest. What says Ulysses? Ulyss. I have a young conception in my brain, Ulyss. This 'tis : Blunt wedges rive hard knots: The seeded pride That hath to this maturity blown up In rank Achilles, must or now be cropp'd, Or, shedding, breed a nursery of like evil, Nest. Well, and how? Ulyss. This challenge that the gallant Hector sends, * Armour for the arm. However it is spread in general name, Relates in purpose only to Achilles. Nest. The purpose is perspicuous even as substance, "Tis dry enough,-will, with what great speed of judgment, Ay, with celerity, find Hector's purpose Pointing on him. Ulyss. And wake him to the answer, think you? It is most meet; Whom may you else oppose, For here the Trojans taste our dear'st repute In this wild action: for the success, And in such indexes, although small pricks Of things to come at large. It is supposed, What heart receives from hence a conquering part, Ulyss. Give pardon to my speech;- For both our honour and our shame, in this, Are dogg'd with two strange followers. Nest. see them not with my old eyes; what are they? Ulyss. What glory our Achilles shares from Hector, Were he not proud, we all should share with him: But he already is too insolent; And we were better parch in Afric sun, Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes, Should he 'scape Hector fair: If he were foil'd, The sort+ to fight with Hector: Among ourselves, That we have better men. But, hit or miss, Now I begin to relish thy advice; And I will give a taste of it forthwith To Agamemnon: go we to him straight. Two curs shall tame each other; Pride alone Must tarre the mastiffs on, as 'twere their bone. [Exeunt. ACT II. SCENE I-Another part of the Grecian Camp. Enter AJAX and THERSITES. Ajax. Thersites, Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils? full, all over, generally ? Ajax. Thersites, Ther. And those boils did run?-Say so,-did not the general run then? were not that a botchy core? Ajax. Dog, Ther. Then would come some matter from him; I see none now. Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? Feel then [Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beefwitted lord! Ajax. Speak, then, thou unsalted leaven, speak: I will beat thee into handsomeness. Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn? prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou? a red murrain o' thy jade's tricks! Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation, Ther. Dost thou think, I have no sense, thou strikest me thus? Ajax. The proclamation, Ther. Thou art proclaim'd a fool, I think. * Estimation. ↑ Lot. + Excite. Ajax. Do not, porpentine,* do not; my fingers itch. Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another. Ajax. I say, the proclamation, Ther. Thou grumblest and raílest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him. Ajax. Mistress Thersites! Ther. Thou shouldest strike him. Ajax. Cobloaf !+ Ther. He would punt thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailorbreaks a biscuit. Ajax. You whoreson cur! Ajax. Thou stool for a witch!§ [Beating him. Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinego || may tutor thee: Thou scurvy valiant ass; thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou! Ajax. You dog! Ther. You scurvy lord! Ajax. You cur! [Beating him. Ther. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do. Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. Achil. Why, how now, Ajax? wherefore do you thus ? How now, Thersites ? what's the matter, man? Ther. You see him there, do you? Achil. Ay, what's the matter? Ther. Nay, look upon him. Achil. So I do; What's the matter? Ther. Nay, but regard him well. Achil. Well! why I do so. Ther. But yet you look not well upon him: for, whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax. Achil. I know that, fool. Ther. Ay, but that fool knows not himself. Ajax. Therefore I beat thee. Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain, more than he has beat my bones: I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord Achilles, Ajax,-who wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say of him. Achil. What? *Porcupine. † Crusty, uneven loaf. + Pound. There used to be a mode of punishing witches, by tying them crosslegged on a high stool. i Ass. VOL...I. ¶Continue. 2 F Ther. I say, this Ajax Achil. Nay, good Ajax. [AJAX offers to strike him, ACHILLES interposes. Ther. Has not so much wit Achil. Nay, I must hold you. Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he comes to fight. Achil, Peace, fool! Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not: he there; that he; look you there. Ajax. O thou damned cur! I shall Achil. Will you set your wit to a fool's? Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will shame it. Patr. Good words, Thersites. Achil. What's the quarrel? Ajax. I bade the vile owl, go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me. Ther. I serve thee not. Ajax. Well, go to, go to. Ther. I serve here voluntary. Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary ;* Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress. Ther. Even so ?-A great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or elset here be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, if he knock out either of your brains; a' were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel. Achil. What, with me too, Thersites ? Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor,-whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes,-yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars. Achil. What, what? Ther. Yes, good sooth; to, Achilles! to, Ajax! to! Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue. Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou, afterwards. Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace. Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' bracht bids me, shall I? Achil. There's for you, Patroclus. Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents; I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. Patr. A good riddance. Exit. Achil. Marry, this, Sir, is proclaim'd through all our host: That Hector, by the first hour of the sun, Will, with a trumpet, 'twixt our tents and Troy, Achil. I know not, it is put to lottery; otherwise, Ajax. O, meaning you :-I'll go learn more of it. * Voluntarily. [Exeunt. |