SECTION VII.

The Disregard of this principle lamented. But piety though essential to choice, not sufficient alone to justify it. Ministers under peculiar Obligation to marry discreetly. Prudence needful, and recommended.

HAPPY those who have formed a union, founded in true godliness, the bonds of which are faith and love in Christ Jesus. They are pleasant in life, and in death not divided. But how deplorable is it, that this christian rule of marriage is so frequently trampled upon. The violation is, in the degree of it at least, peculiar to our own age. Our pious ancestors, especially among the non-conformists, would have been shocked at the practice, as appears from their invaluable writings. And I am persuaded that it is very much owing to the prevalence of these indiscriminate and unhallowed connexions, that we have fallen so far short of those men of God who are gone before us, in our seclusion from the world, in the simplicity of our manners, in the uniformity of our profession, in the discharge of family worship, and the training up of our households in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. How could it have been otherwise? Is there not a connexion between causes and effects? Do we sow one kind of grain, and reap another? Can men gather grapes of thorns or figs of thistles?

Guard therefore my christian friends against every pretence that would draw you into this forbidden path! Establish the unlawfulness, and perniciousness of such alliances as "a principle" in your minds, that when the evil day of temptation comes, it may find you ready to

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resist, stedfast in the faith. You should not have your weapons to seek when you want them to use. man, do not accept a man, who has all "the wisdom of the world," if a stranger to the "excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord." Do not, it is the rough image of an old divine, Do not chuse a swine because he has a golden trough. Whatever a man possesses, remember he has nothing, if he has not "the one thing needful." O man, be not reconciled to a weak or ugly mind, because it wears a handsome body. "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gate."

But a marriage that is not sinful, may be improper. The apostle himself distinguishes between what is "law. ful," and what is "expedient." Religion is indeed in. dispensable, but does not alone constitute the propriety of the action. Religion is indeed essential, but is not abstracted from all other considerations, sufficient to justify choice. To exemplify this a little.

-The admission of the piety of the parties does not destroy the indecorum of haste, in marrying immediately after the death of a husband or wife.

The admission of the piety of the parties does not hinder the censure due to a great disparity in years.How unnatural, how indecent is it to see an old man surrounded with infants and babes, which he can scarce- . ly see or hear for the infirmities of age! How unnatural, how odious is it to see a young man fastened to a piece of antiquity-so as to perplex strangers to determine whether he is living with a wife or a mother!

The admission of the piety of the parties does not render in all cases a difference of sentiment, and of denomination unimportant. It is not lovely for the husband and wife to repair on the sabbath day morning to separate places of worship. It is not pleasant in remarking what they have heard, after their return home, for the one to censure what the other approves. It is not edifying in the dedication of their common offspring to God by baptism to disagree, not only as to the importance, but also as to the validity of the ordinance. The observation cannot be considered as founded in bigotry, since it will equally apply to both sides of the question, in a number of cases in every religious community, and is derived from the unalterable nature of things. Indeed to have a preference from conviction, and to adhere to the distinctions arising from it, without condemning others, can never be confounded with illiberality, but by a weak or a vicious mind.

The admission of the piety of the parties cannot preclude the necessity of suitableness. Indeed religion being supposed, suitableness seems to be the chief requisite to the duty, the respectability, and the happiness of connected life. This fitness takes in an adaptation to each other personally, and also to the situation in which they are called to move. It has commonly been aid that no class of men err so much in this article as ministers. But surely this cannot be admitted. It cannot be supposed that those who have opportunities to make the best choice, commonly made the worst. cannot be supposed that those whose office it is to inculcate prudence, should be themselves proverbial for indiscretion. It cannot be supposed that those whose incomes are limited, and whose circumstances demand

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economy, would bring into the management of them, those who have been trained up in delicacy, and extravagance and are helpless, and profuse. It cannot be supposed that men, whose office is respectable, and productive of social intercourse, would select vulgarity and ignorance, unfit to be either seen or heard, merely because it is pious.-A minister is to inculcate order and regularity and would he marry a female that would render his house a scene of confusion and tumult? A minister is to shew how the claims of life and religion harmonize, and to assign to the duties of each, their own place and season-and would he marry a rattlebrain, who instead of being a keeper at home, has been always rambling after some new preacher; who instead of quietly glorifying God in her proper sphere of action, has been endeavouring to excite public attention; who has been zealous in matters of doubtful disputation, but has treated as beneath her regard, common and relative obligations? Need he be told that a becoming behaviour in a lower and private station, is the surest pledge of, and the best preparation for a proper behaviour in a higher and more public situation -A minister is to recommend neatness and all the decencies of life-and would he marry a slattern? A minister is to shew that the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit is in the sight of God of great price-and would he marry a scold? A minister is to stand in the same relation to all his people who demand his love and service-and would he marry a female who would fondly attach herself to a few cronies, listen to all their secrets and divulge her own, and form cabals and schisms, which will render his residence unpleasant, or occasion his removal?

"The attention of ministers" says Mr. Gilpin, in "choosing such companions, as may not hinder their success, is of so great importance, that in some countries the conduct of a pastor's wife, as well as that of the pastor himself, is supposed either to edify, or mislead the flock. Nay the minister himself is freE

quently condemned for the faults of his wife: thus in the protestant churches of Hungary, they degrade a pastor, whose wife indulges herself in cards, dancing, or any other public amusement that bespeaks the gaiety of a lover of the world, rather than the gravity of a christian matron. This severity springs from the supposition, that the woman, having promised obedience. to her husband, can do nothing but what he either directs or approves. Hence they conclude that example having a greater influence than precept, the wife of a minister, if she be inclined to the world, will preach worldly compliance with more success by her conduct, than her husband can preach worldly renunciation by the most solemn discourses.' And certainly the scandal of many will always be the result of that deplorable inconsistency, which is sometimes seen between the serious instructions of a Godly minister, and the trifling behaviour of a woman with whom he is so intimately connected. If the wives of the deacons are to be "grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things," what less. can be required of the wives of pastors? "A bishop then must be blameless-one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity. For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God!

Things said indeed concerning the wives of ministers. should generally be received with caution. Owing to a line in life, the peculiarity of which is often very little known or considered, their actions and motives may be sometimes condemned, when perhaps instead of deserving censure, they merit praise. By their union with persons of some distinction and influence, they are in a state to awaken envy, and ill-natured remark. By their occupying a conspicuous station, they are more liable to observation than many in more common life. This renders it needful for them to be peculiarly circumspect and exemplary. And it must be confessed that such females are placed in a situation very difficult and