"Vy zounds and zounds!" he cries, "I sall no pay; Vat, charge ten shelangs for vat I've mangé? A leetel sup of portar, dis vile bed, Vare all de rats do run about my head ?" "Plague on those rats!" the landlord muttered out; "I wish, upon my word, that I could make 'em pray : "Vat's dat you "Attend to me, Vill you dis charge forego, vat I am at, And den invite de rats to sup vid you; For vat dey eat, you charge dem just ten shelang: And I am sure, ven dey behold de score, more. XIX. The Best of Wives.-ANONYMOUS. A MAN had once a vicious wife His days and nights were spent in strife Unceasing. Her tongue went glibly all day long, And ill done. A truce without doors or within, He found not. He every soothing art displayed; To take her. Once walking by a river's side, I'll end them. "Weary of life, and quite resigned, To drown I have made up my mind, So tie my hands as fast behind As can be: "Or Nature may assert her reign, My arms assist, my will restrain, And swimming, I once more regain My troubles." With eager haste the dame complies, Before her. "Yet, when I view the rolling tide, And die thus: "It would be better far, I think, While close I stand upon the brink, You push me in-nay, never shrink, But do it." To give the blow the more effect, She should do. He slips aside, himself to save, Much pleasure. "Dear husband, help! I sink!" she cried; "Thou best of wives!" the man replied, "I would-but you my hands have tied, God help ye!" XX. The Doctor and his Apprentice.-COLMAN. A PUPIL of the Esculapian school One morn he thus addressed his master: My business I might learn a little faster.” "The thought is happy," the preceptor cries; "A better method he could scarce devise; So Bob," (his pupil's name) "it shall be so; To bring that hour, alas! time briskly fled : Away they went, And now behold them at a patient's bed. The master-doctor solemnly perused His victim's face, and o'er his symptoms mused; Before the fell discharge of pill and potion. At length the patient's wife he thus addressed: Skill so prodigious Bobby too admired; I saw the shells lie underneath the bed." So wise, by such a lesson grown, And to the self-same sufferer paid his courtBut soon, with haste and wonder out of breath, Returned the stripling minister of death, And to his master made this dread report: "Why, sir, we ne'er can keep that patient un der; Zounds! such a maw I never came across! The fellow must be dying, and no wonder, For ne'er believe me if he has n't eat a horse!" "A horse!" the elder man of physic cried, XXI. Right of Discovery.--IRVING. THE first source of right, by which property is acquired in a country, is discovery. For as all mankind have an equal right to any thing which has never before been appropriated, so any nation that discovers an uninhabited country, and takes possession thereof, is considered as enjoying full property, and absolute, unquestionable empire therein. This proposition being admitted, it follows clearly, that the Europeans who first visited America, were the real discoverers of the same; nothing being necessary to the establishment of this fact, but simply to prove that it was totally uninhabited by man. This would at first appear to be a point of some difficulty: for it is well known, that this quarter of the world abounded with certain animals, that walked erect on two feet, had something of the human countenance, uttered certain unintelligible |