FOR THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY.

HISTORY OF A REFORMED COLLEGE RAKE.

LETTER II.-TO STUDIOSUS.

DEAR CLASSMATE,

I RECEIVED your letter of a recent date, in which you appear anxious to know the prefent ftate of my mind. You juftly remark, that my conduct at the University was totally inconfiftent with the facred profeffion I have chofen.

I am fully fenfible of the truth of your observation, and reflect with fhame and felf-reproach on the part I then acted. Like a faithful monitor, you entreated me to forfake my foolish and vicious courfes. You reminded me of my professed refolutions to preach. But I was too much devoted to idleness, or pleasure to regard your prudent admonitions. They seemed to me rather the dictates of a phlegmatic mind, than the wife counfels of a fincere friend.

I acknowledge, that I entered the University with the defign of becoming a gospel minifter. But I foon forgat my errand. Too eafily was I perfuaded to swim down the current of popular errors and vices. Some of them were such, as I blush to mention. I cannot deny, that profaneness was of the number. Nor will I conceal my grofs neglect of prayers, recitations, and lectures, my indifference to public worship, and my total difregard of felf-examination and private devotion.

I will leave you to conjecture the reft, when I confefs, that I often spent unfeafonable hours at the Capital, affumed fictitious names, and associated with those, who had nothing to recommend them, but an eager purfuit of the fame licentious pleasures with myself.

Among your frequent reproofs I fhall never forget one, which you administered with great zeal and plainness, after I had confumed the principal part of the night in the excess of riot. You conjured me by a combined regard to health, reputation, literary and moral improvement, to enter on a new course of life. You affured me, what fad experience has fince verified, that I should sooner or later repent my rashness and folly. VOL. I. No. 5.

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The first effect of your faithful admonition was to throw me into a violent paffion. I could not endure, that an equal fhould afsume such dictatorial authority. I advifed you to look at home, and not boast of superior virtue, because nature had endued you with apathy of foul.

But I foon had recourfe to another method to filence you. I endeavoured to allure you by degrees into the vices, to which I had become addicted. For this purpose I frequently befet you with fome of my most interesting companions. In your prefence we enlarged upon our numerous pleafures. We hoped in fome sportive moments to gain access to your heart. We watched every favourable opportunity to converse upon topics of love, knowing that, if we could by any means inflame your breaft with an unhallowed paffion, we fhould fecure more than half of our object.

But to your credit be it acknowledged, our most ingenious devices proved fruitlefs. You perfifted in your integrity, and left us to curfe your obstinacy.

So much was my time occupied by frivolous and vicious purfuits, that my ftudies were grofsly neglected. The folid fciences I despised. Nor could I read with pleafure any thing but the lightest novels. Ah! little did I confider the facred employment, upon which I was about to enter! Elfe I could not have devoted to balls, theatrical exhibitions, and thoughtless diffipation thofe precious moments, which ought to have been confecrated to diligent study.

When I obferved fome of my 'cotemporaries making rapid improvements in fcience, and gaining reputation with the gov ernment and the refpectable part of their fellow-ftudents, I will not deny, that I felt emotions of fhame. But habit foon triThe next affociation with umphed over occafional contrition. my comrades difpelled all fcruples. With one confent we imputed the clofe application of others to a mean defire of college honours, and their refusal to join in our sports to a fear of cenfure. As for ourselves, we felt above fuch grovelling views. We were not deterred from focial joys by the dread of lofing appointments; nor were we prevented from "a high go" by the danger of" raising a tutor."

Such was then our inconfiderate reafoning. But I own to you, my dear friend, that my fentiments have fince undergone an entire alteration.

The very day after I commenced a bachelor of arts, the mift, which had for a long time obfcured my mental vifion, began to vanish. I faw my own character in a juster light, than ever.. I was mortified, that my performance at commencement was not equal to what my friends expected. To tell the truth, I had hired a claffmate to write it; and he, not feeling the fame refponfibility, as if it were his own, had written it indifferently.

But what most distreffed me was the consciousness, that I had laid no foundation for the profeffion I contemplated.

My first refolution was to inftruct a fchool. But I had the mortification to find, that those steady classmates, whom I used to ridicule and defpife, had the earliest and beft applications. Befides, I did not choose to refide near the University or my native town, left the report of my collegial character fhould defroy my reputation with my employers, and injure my authority with my pupils. I was hence induced to accept a moderate offer in an obfcure town, where I hoped to lie concealed, till I should gain a character, which would not dread examination.

In this fecluded place I found but few books. The clergyman of the parifh was fo much of a farmer, as to be able to af ford me but little inftruction. I had confequently the more time for reflection. The more I reflected, the more did I condemn and refolve to renounce the follies of my paft life.

By degrees I abstained from fociety. My foul became involved in all the horrors of melancholy. I fometimes meditated the last fad act of defperation, as my only relief from remorfe and dread.

But, God's mercy be praised, I was "as a firebrand plucked out of the burning." Inftead of abandoning myfelf to defpair, I had recourse to fervent devotion and attentive perufal of the facred Scriptures. Having by me fome elementary authors in Greek, I applied myself to the ftudy of this neglected language, and found great affistance in understanding and retaining the fenfe of difficult texts. In the family, where I

boarded, was one volume of an old commentator.

Thus was

my attention gradually turned toward a critical examination of the Bible.

In this fituation I continued a year. Almost every day frefh light and comfort rufhed upon my mind, till I had fatis, factory evidence, that I was a fincere penitent.

I will not particularly relate to you the various exercises of my mind during this critical period. Suffice it to say, that I was emboldened to make a Chriftian profession, and have ever fince lived in fome good meafure agreeably to its folemn obliga.

tions.

I will not conceal from you my mingled emotions, the first commencement I attended after my remarkable reformation. The old companions of my vicious purfuits welcomed me with profane and noify tranfports. But how foon were they stricken dumb, when informed of the alteration in my character, and when I avoided them for more congenial fociety.

Meeting my more ferious fellow-ftudents, they at first fhun. ned me, as an intruder. They imagined, that I must have asfumed the garb, without the heart, of a Christian minister. How great was their joy, when certified of my amendment! I can truly declare, that the enjoyments of that day exceeded in folid worth all the pleasures, I had ever experienced in vicious courfes.

As foon as I could gain approbation, I began to preach. But often was I wounded to the quick, on hearing it infultingly afked by fome, though honeftly by others, "Is Saul alfo among the prophets?" Is it poffible, that he, who was formerly fo diffipated, can be fincere in his religious profeffions? Such circumstances have ferved to harrow my foul; though I hope they have given rife to profitable self-examination.

When I was ordained, it was my fincere wish, that my past errors might be forgotten, or, at least, that they might never be reported within the bounds of my parish. This was not because I wished to act the odious part of a hypocrite; but because I knew, that fuch rumours would answer no valuable purpose among my parifhioners; and they might do much harm, Yet how vain are all fuch precautions! Let none presume to commit unworthy actions with the hope of concealment, either

from companions in guilt, or from remoteness of fituation. “A bird of the air fhall carry the voice, and that which hath wings, fhall tell the matter." I foon found, that my youthful foibles and vices were not concealed from my people. My friends often alluded to them to fhow the imperfection of man, and my enemies to palliate their own misconduct,

It is a moft painful confideration, that I have thus given " occafion to the enemies of the Lord to blafpheme." When I preach against certain vices of the times, I can eafily trace in the countenances of my young auditors, that so far from taking my observations to themselves, they invariably apply them to the preacher.

That my past life affords fuch grounds of cenfure, I find to be a very ferious inconvenience in my profeffion. It leffens my influence over offenders, both as they plead my former example in their defence, and as it checks my freedom of reproof.

It is now my fincere wish to guard the young, especially thofe defigned for the miniftry, against the unhappy mistakes, which I have committed. Early caution will fave them many a pang. They should abstain from the very appearance of evil, as well as from pofitive vice, if they would preferve that confiftency of character, which becomes a herald of evangelical purity, Like Cefar's wife, they must be free not only from guilt, but even from fufpicion.

I can honestly declare, that I have had no fruit in those things, of which I am now afhamed. I regret my former ill chofen connexions, indolent habits, and vicious practices. I particularly lament the uncharitable judgments I used to form. respecting several diftinguished divines. I now find, that I fhall in vain hope to equal thofe, whom I once heard with contempt.

I have been thus particular in my reply to your favour, that you may be affured of my reformation, and that you may caution all whom it may concern, within the circle of your acquaintance, against the like neceffity.

With fincere friendship Lam yours,

M. Y.