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named Baker, whose soft and gentle manners have been in the theatrical oven so long, that she becomes crusty whenever you ask her a civil question.
The late Countess of Huntingdon built a Methodist chapel near Mount Misery, a place so named, overlooking the town, and many a miserable creature of that deplorable place is seen upon his knees in it, imbibing the enthusiam and frantic doctrines of the chosen few, who roar and stare the ignorant into a belief of whatever they may please to say.
Let it not be thought, from my introducing the many ludicrous tropes and figures in the subsequent lines,
that I mean to throw the least shaa dow over the white-robed vestment of true religion ; no, but to expose those that from ignorance and impudence, by way of subterfuge, have obtruded them upon the ears of an illiterate congregation; for it was from that description of preacher that I gleaned them, and was tempted to put them into the following shape.
My sisters and brothers, who hither come crying,
Whose practice is nothing but swearing and lying,
Is it heav'n you seek ?--your journey pursue,
You'll never get there, I'll be damn'd if you do,
Unless you set off on the wings of Religion;
For Religion's a dove, and a dove is a pigeon:
Then daily come here on your marrowbones fall;
Come hither to me, and I'll pigeon you all.
And if you would live-if you never would die,
Say, what can support you like sweet charity ?
On Charity's wings you will fly up to heav'n,
I'll venture to lay you twelve groats to elev’n;
Then pull out your purses, and give to the poor,
See, Peter stands starving to death at the door.
Ah! don't deny Peter, tho' Peter deny'd
His Master, whom once he in trouble espy'd ;
He saw him surrounded in imminent danger,
Then told a great fib, and he called him a stranger.
There's never a one of you sure such a block,
But have heard of the story--the crow of the cock?
Ere crows the next cock, you will all deny me;
I know by your faces, I plainly can see.
I've not in the plate heard a penny yet fall;
Mark this !---you'll be damn'd, ev'ry cock of you all !
And can't you
afford it,—have you no avocation?
Say, No:-ah! that No is a sweet palliation !
Why don't you contribute ? or have you not any ?
rather be damn'd than part with a penny ? You that are come with
faces so meek, Who worship old Mammon the rest of the week, Some selling of one thing, or buving another, By tricking, or lying, or cheating his brother, Each makes up a purse, then they come to this place, All hoping to drink of the fountain of Grace.
You're all strangers to faith, for you have not a jot;
And do you not find your poor tongues very hot ?
Of faith, or of grace, not a drop left
Because you will let that old Belzebub rule ye?
But he that a penny to Peter shall pay
Shall have a whole bucket of faith every day.
He that feeds daily on conserves and pickles,
And every hour his appetite tickles,
He little now thinketh, because he lives well,
What a pickle he'll be in, when burning in hell;
When bathing in brimstone, as hot as a heater,
He'll then wish he'd given a penny to Peter.
Oh! oh! I now see I've made you all snivel ;
You don't like to hear of your old friend the Devil;
I've touch'd you then, have I ?-I've touch'd to the
You'd forgot then that cunning old soul-catcher, Nick?
You did not then think of his fiery lakes?
How he spreads out his nets, and what trouble he takes;
Like a bird-catcher sitting, conceal'd in a ditch,
As sly as a fox, and as foul as a witch;
Just like to that sorc'ress, that wicked offender,
You've often heard talk of, the old witch of Endor?
But I'll be your Generalissimo, aye,
All his nets and his brimstone I dare to defy.
This book is my shield, and my tongue is my spear,
I'll send hiin away with a flea in his ear.
There are two other mounts in the same direction, one called Mount Epraim, the other Mount Sion ; but were you to ask why they are called so, it would be a difficult matter to learn. The houses
these mounts are handsomely built and pleasantly situated; some of them the summerresidence of eminent families, others boarding or lodging-houses, for the same description of people.
East of the town, on the side of a rising hill, are very elegant villas, embowered with stately groves, forming a sufficient residence for
people of the first fashion, something similar to the houses and groves in the upper part of Hampstead, near London. There are few accommodations