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Re-enter Anne Page.
Shal. Here conies fair mistress Anne :-Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne!
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father de. sires your worships' company.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne.
(Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Anne. Will’t please your worship to come in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am
Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.
forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: (Exit Simple.) A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :- I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what though ? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come.
Slen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.
Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I bruised
shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys* for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?
Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England :-you are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
* Three set-to's, bouts, or hits.
Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson* loose, twenty times; and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'dt :- but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em ; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
Page. Come, gentle master Slender, conie; we stay for you.
Slen. I'll eat nothing ; I thank
Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir: come, come.
Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way.
Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will not do you that wrong.
Anne. I pray you, sir.
Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. [Exeunt.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.
Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mis. tress Quickly, which is in the manner of his purse,
* The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden, in Southwark.
+ Surpassed all expression.
or his dry nurse, or his cook, or leis laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
Simp. Well, sir.
Eva. Nay, it is petter yet give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page : I pray you, be gone; I will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins and cheese to come.
A room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and
Fal. Mine host of the Garter,
Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely.
Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host. Thou’rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap : said I well, bully Hector?
Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
(Erit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster: go; adieu.
is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
Pist. O base Gongarian* wight! wilt thou the
spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink : is not the humour conceited ? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it.
Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox ; his thefts were too open : his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest.
Pist. Convey, the wise it call : steal! foh; a ficot for the phrase!
Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I must shift.
Pist. Young ravens must have food.
Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
Pist. Two yards, and more.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she dis. courses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into Euglish.
Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass ?
Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angelsf.
Pist. As many devils entertain ; and, To her boy,
Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels,
For Hungarian, + Fig. Gold coin.
Fal. I have writ me bere a letter to her and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin’d my parts with most judicious eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Pist. Thep did the sun on dung-hill shine.
Fal. O, she did so course n'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass ! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater* to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress I'ord: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all !
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation, Fal. Hold, sirrah, (to Rob.) bear you these letters
tightlyt; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack! Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, French thrift, you rogues; myself, aud skirted page.
[Ereunt Falstaff and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.
• Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
I False dice.