their writing upon any subject, I directed them to read some of the best authors I had, who had written upon each side of the question. This appeared to be necessary, not only to give them a full and extensive view of every subject, but also to guard them against falling into errors afterwards. For while they were reading on the wrong side of any question, I had opportunity to make such remarks upon what they read, or what occurred to them in reading, as might prevent their being led astray by false or sophistical reasoning. Though I supposed it was necessary, yet I knew it was dangerous, to read authors of erroneous sentiments; because the best heads and the best hearts are not always able to detect and refute sophistry, without some assistance. In this view, it appeared proper to put authors on both sides of a question into the hands of my pupils, and to give them a general knowledge of the most false and dangerous schemes of religion, before they left me. thought the danger was less in this way, than to allow them to go out into the world, without being, in some measure, prepared to meet and refute those who either professed or propagated false and destructive sentiments. In hearing their discourses, I used to remark upon their manner of arranging their thoughts, upon the sentiments they exhibited, and upon the beauties and defects of their language. I cautioned them against a flowery, bombastic style, on the one hand, and on the other, against a too low, vulgar, slovenly manner of expression. I recommended a plain, neat, perspicuous, energetic mode of writing and speaking, which all could understand, which none could dislike, and which some of the best judges would admire. I commonly spent some time every day with my students, either to hear their compositions, or to converse with them upon particular subjects. I often discoursed upon the duties, difficulties, advantages and trials of ministers. I inculcated the importance of being prudent, faithful, and exemplary, in every part of their ministerial duty. I urged them to give themselves wholly to their work, and never encumber themselves with the concerns of the world, or dissipate their minds by mixing with vain and unprofitable company. I endeavored to point out how they should treat their parishioners of various characters and dispositions, and taught them as well as I could, how to become able and faithful ministers.

CHAPTER V.

RELIGIOUS VIEWS AND CONDUCT, UNDER THE VARIOUS DISPENSATIONS OF PROVIDENCE TOWARDS MYSELF, MY

FAMILY AND MY PEOPLE.

I HAVE briefly delineated my manner of life, from my childhood to the time of my settlement in the ministry. From that period till I entered into a family state, which was about two years, I lived in much retirement and tranquillity. I met with nothing where I resided, nor among my people, nor from any other quarter, which either disturbed my peace, or interrupted my studies. My principal concern was, to discharge the duties of the pastoral office faithfully. I loved my people ardently, and received continual marks of their kindness, esteem, and affection. My outward prospects were promising, and I anticipated scenes of prosperity and usefulness. I generally maintained nearness to God, and enjoyed almost constant light and peace in my own mind. I had time and opportunity for all the duties of devotion, which I performed with great punctuality, with sensible pleasure, and, I trust, with some sincerity. I felt very much detached both from the cares of life and the transactions of the world. Providence directed me to the choice of an agreeable companion, and I was married, April 6, 1775, to Miss DELIVERANCE FRENCH, of Braintree. She possessed a sprightly mind, a pious heart, and a most amiable natural disposition. We went to house-keeping the next week after marriage, with mutually raised expectations. But alas! we knew not what a day might bring forth. A thick, and dark, and terrible storm was gathering, which involved us and our country in deep distress. In less than a week after we had entered our new and peaceful habitation, Lexington battle took place, which proved to be the commencement of a long and bitter war between Britain and America. This great and alarming event gave a dark and discouraging aspect to all our future circumstances in life. I always dreaded war, being totally destitute of a martial spirit, and viewing it highly detrimental to the interests of learning, religion and morality. But the war which now commenced, was of the most malignant kind. It was really a civil war; which originated in, and was productive of, the basest passions of the human heart. Though Britain and America were two countries, yet the inhabitants were one nation, and had always been subjects of the same sovereign. Hence it was to be expected, the contention be

tween such brethren would be extremely cruel and bloody; and so it eventually proved. Besides, the Americans were divided among themselves. Their crown officers, and some of their leading and most opulent citizens were on the side of Britain, and obstructed all measures in opposition to the British parliament. This created reproaches, invectives, tumults, and violent proceedings in different colonies, counties, towns, parishes, and even neighborhoods. But being heartily attached to my country, and firmly believing we had justice on our side, I met with very little difficulty on account of my political principles or conduct. I always meant to throw all the weight I had into the scale of liberty; though I verily thought some of its advocates adopted sentiments and pursued measures, which were really hostile to good government. And now I believe that many honest Whigs are fully convinced of the errors of some of their fierce and unprincipled leaders. But though I met with no peculiar difficulty in regard to the grounds of the war, yet I shared largely in its common calamities; because I was not prepared, as many of my fathers in the ministry were, to meet them. I had just purchased a settlement, and involved myself in debt, to the amount of at least two hundred pounds. The two years before the war began, my people punctually paid my salary, and advanced one hundred pounds of my settlement a year before it was due by contract. But from the beginning to the end of the war, my people, like many others, neglected to pay my salary at the usual time, and in the usual manner. Nor was this all; the paper currency very early and rapidly depreciated, which threw me into great embarrassments. For, instead of being able to pay for my farm, I was obliged to run farther into debt, and even to borrow money from time to time, to provide necessaries for my family. In short, for the space of fifteen or sixteen years, I was obliged to pay interest for about two hundred pounds. These were my pecuniary difficulties, which arose principally from the war. But it deeply affected me in other respects; it diverted the attention, and even the affections of the people from me. They were so much embarrassed themselves with the expenses, labors, and fatigues of the war, that they neglected to attend public worship, and became very indifferent to every thing of a religious nature. Those who had been apparently warm friends, became cold and distant in their behavior towards me, and sometimes, indeed, treated me with real disrespect and contempt. These things were severe and unexpected trials. For I always meant to treat my people in a friendly and condescending manner, in all my private and public conduct. And being fully of the opinion, that no minister can be useful to a people, any longer than he

possesses their esteem, confidence, and affection, I determined to take a dismission from my pastoral relation, whenever I should discover such symptoms of unusefulness. This appeared to be the case, at the close of the year 1780, and accordingly I asked a dismission, on Lord's day, January 21, 1781. But my request was not granted, and I continued in tolerable peace, till the year 1784, when I again asked a dismission, on Lord's day, May 20. This request was also denied. In both these instances of asking a dismission, I acted with sincerity, and without any sensible sinister motives. No man, perhaps, felt more reluctance to leaving his people, than I did mine. had cherished a warm and sincere attachment to them, and viewed them in general as the most intelligent, kind, and ministerial people I was ever acquainted with. And this attachment has never been destroyed, though sometimes weakened, by what I have deemed very unseemly and ungrateful conduct. But after all, I am apt to think, they have generally entertained too high an opinion of my abilities, and too low an opinion of my attachment to them. Here, however, we may have erred on both sides. Our feelings and opinions respecting each other will never be known, till the day arrives that will disclose the secrets of all hearts, and rectify all mistakes; and I am willing to refer all things to Him, who will judge without error and without partiality.

But I should be very ungrateful to God, if, after mentioning so many disagreeable things, I should pass over in silence some very happy circumstances, in the course of my ministry. From the time of my ordination to the year 1785, I seemed to labor in vain, and to spend my strength for nought. Though now and then an individual joined the church, yet there was no general and deep attention to divine things among my people. This was a matter of grief and discouragement. I began to despair of ever seeing any considerable success in my ministerial labors, and was brought to feel my entire dependence upon God for a revival of religion. While my mind was in this state, a serious attention to divine things began to appear in the second parish in Medway, which was contiguous to mine, about the middle of November, 1784. In the space of five or six weeks after this, the same serious attention began to spread in my congregation, which continued and increased till April or May, and did not wholly subside for above a year. It was indeed a glorious and solemn season. On the Sabbath, at lectures, and in conferences, the people in general were deeply affected. And though many had high exercises of mind, and were extremely impressed with lively views of eternal realities, yet no disturbance or irregularities occurred.

Those who entertained hopes of a saving change, never expressed any enthusiastic fervor or zeal, but manifested a sensible, rational, scriptural joy in God, and delight in religious duties. It could not be ascertained how many were really awakened and convinced. There was, however, an uncommon solemnity upon the minds of the people in general, so that there was no opposition made to the work, by scarcely a single person. There were about seventy who professed to entertain a hope of a saving change, though the whole of that number did not join our church. This revival of religion put a new face upon my congregation, and gave me new courage and zeal in my ministerial labors. Some who had been unfriendly became friendly, and many who had been friendly, became more and more attached to me. I believe I stood in a favorable light among all my people; though probably some were more displeased with my preaching, the more they understood and felt it. Not long after this revival, religion gradually declined among us, though the late converts retained as much life and vigor and zeal as could be expected, and generally gave convincing evidence that they had been savingly taught of God. But in February, 1794, God was pleased again to pour out his Spirit in a more than common measure, but not to so great a degree as in the former revival. It first appeared in one family, in which two or three were hopefully converted. But upon preaching a sermon in that family, the attention immediately and considerably spread; so that in the course of a few months, about thirty professed to find comfort, and finally made a public profession of religion. In consequence of these two spiritual harvests, my church was greatly enlarged, and continues to be the most numerous in this vicinity. At this time, January, 1806, there is awful coldness, and indifference, and stupidity prevailing, both in the church and congregation. On the whole, I have abundant reason to bless God, that he has given me to see so many displays of divine grace, and afforded me so much ground to hope, that I have been made the instrument of some saving benefit to the precious souls committed to my charge.

In my domestic concerns I have experienced uncommon favors and uncommon frowns of Providence. For more than two years, I enjoyed great comfort in my dear consort. She was a pattern of piety, prudence, condescension, benevolence, and cheerfulness. I never saw her in a passion. I never received an unkind expression from her lips. Whenever I returned from a journey, or even from a visit in the parish, she never failed to welcome me home by a smile on her countenance. I never knew an instance, in which she appeared designedly to give me a painful feeling. As she never meant to