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Let us, like merchants, show our foulest wares,
Now I begin to relish thy advice;
[Exeunt. ACT II. SCENE I.
Another Part of the Grecian Camp.
Enter AJAX and THERSITES.
Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils? full, all over, generally?
Ther. And those boils did run?-Say so,—did not the general run then? were not that a botchy core?
see none now.
Ajar. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not heard Feel then.
[Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mon. grel beef-witted lord!
Ajar. Speak then, thou unsalted leaven, speak: I will beat thee into handsomeness.
Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou; a red murrain o'thy jade's tricks!
Ajar. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation.
Ther, Dost thou think, I have no sense, thou strik'st me thus ?
Ajax, The proclamation,
Ther. Thou art proclaim'd a fool, I think.
Ther. I would, thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another.
Ajax. I say, the proclamation,
Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou bark'st at him.
Ajar. Mistress Thersites!
Ther. He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit. Ajar. You whoreson cur!
[Beating him. Ther. Do, do. Ajar. Thou stool for a witch!
Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! 'thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows'; an assinego may tutor thee: Thou scurvy valiant ass! thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among those of any.wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou !
Ajar. You dog!
Ther. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do.
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUB. Achil. Why, how now, Ajax; wherefore do you
Ther. You see him there, do you?
Ther. But yet you look not well upon him : for, whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax.
Achil. I know that, fool.
Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his evasions have ears thus long. I have bobb'd his brain, more than he has beat my bones: I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax,—who wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his head, - I'll tell you what I say of him.
(Ajax offers to strike him, Achilles interposes. Ther. Has not so much wit