Did all the chivalry of England move To do brave acts; he was, indeed, the glass For those that could speak low, and tardily, In military rules, humours of blood, He was the mark and glass, copy and book, Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name Lady N. O, fly to Scotland, Till that the nobles, and the armed commons, Lady P. If they get ground and vantage of the king, Then join you with them, like a rib of steel, As with the tide swell'd up unto its height, SCENE IV. -London. A Room in the Boar's Enter Two Drawers. 1 Draw. What the devil hast thou brought there? apple-Johns? thou know'st, sir John cannot endure an apple-John. 2 Draw. Mass, thou sayest true: The prince once set a dish of apple-Johns before him, and told him, there were five more sir Johns: and, putting off his hat, said, I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered knights. It angered him to the heart but he hath forgot that. 1 Draw. Why then, cover, and set them down: And see if thou canst find out Sneak's noise; mis Despatch: The room where they supped, is too hot; they'll come in straight. 2 Draw. Sirrah, here will be the prince, and master Poins anon: and they will put on two of our jerkins, and aprons; and sir John must not know of it: Bardolph hath brought word. 1 Draw. By the mass, here will be old utis: It will be an excellent stratagem. 2 Draw. I'll see, if I can find out Sneak. [Erit. Enter Hostess and DOLL TEAR-SHEET. Host. I'faith, sweet heart, methinks now you are in an excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose: But, i'faith, you have drunk too much canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say,— What's this? How do you now? Doll. Better than I was. Hem. Host. Why, that's well said; a good heart's worth gold. Look, here comes sir John. Enter FALSTAFF, singing. Fal. When Arthur first in court-Empty the jordan. - And was a worthy king: [Erit Drawer.] How now, mistress Doll? - Host. Sick of a calm: yea, good sooth. Fal. So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm, they are sick. Doll. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me? Fal. You make fat rascals, mistress Doll. Doll. I make them! gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.. Fal. If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll, we catch of you; grant that, my poor virtue, grant that, Doll. Ay, marry; our chains, and our jewels. Fal. Your brooches, pearls, and owches ; — for to serve bravely, is to come halting off, you know: To come off the breech with his pike bent bravely; and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the charged chambers bravely: Doll. Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself! Host. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet, but you fall to some discord: you are both, in good troth, as rheumatick as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the good-year! one must bear, and that must be you: [to DOLL.] you are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel. Doll. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. - Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack: thou art going to the wars; and whether I shall ever see thee again, or no, there is nobody cares. Re-enter Drawer. Draw. Sir, ancient Pistol's below, and would speak with you. Doll. Hang him, swaggering rascal! let him not come hither: it is the foul mouth'dst rogue in Eng land. Host. If he swagger, let him not come here: tress Tear-sheet would fain hear some musick. no, by my faith; I must live amongst my neigh T A SCENE IV. bours; I'll no swaggerers: I am in good name and Fal. Dost thou hear, hostess? tains were of my mind, they would truncheon you 1 Host. Pray you, pacify yourself, sir John; there A captain! these villains will make the word captain comes no swaggerers here. Fal. Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient. Host. Tilly-fally, sir John, never tell me; your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before master Tisick, the deputy, the other day; and, as he said to me, it was no longer ago than Wednesday last, Neighbour Quickly, says he;Neigh master Dumb, our minister, was by then ; — bour Quickly, says he, receive those that are civil; for, saith he, you are in an ill name; now he said so, I can tell whereupon; for, says he, you are an homest woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what guests you receive: Receive, says he, no There comes none raggering companions. here;-you would bless you to hear what he said: -no, I'll no swaggerers. Fal. He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater, he; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound: he will not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance. Call him up, drawer. Host. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater: But I do not love swaggering; by my troth, I am the worse, when ne says-swagger: feel, masters, how I shake; look you, I warrant you. as odious as the word occupy; which was an excel- Bard. Pray thee, go down, good ancient. to Pluto's Down! down, dogs! down faitors! Have we not Host. Good captain Peesel, be quiet; it is very late, i'faith: I beseek you now, aggravate your choler. Pist. These be good humours, indeed! Shall And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia, Host. By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words. Bard. Be gone, good ancient; this will grow to Doll. So you do, hostess. Enter PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and Page. Pist. 'Save you, sir John! Fal. Welcome, ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack: do you discharge apon mine hostess, Fist. I will discharge upon her, sir John, with two bullets. Fal. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her. Heat. Come, I'll drink no proofs, nor no bullets: I'll drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I. Pist. Then to you, mistress Dorothy; I will charge you. Dell. Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion. What! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for your master. Pis. I know you, mistress Dorothy. Dell Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basketbilt stale juggler, you! - Since when, I pray you, sir?-What, with two points on your shoulder? much! Pist. I will murder your ruff for this, Fal, No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol. Host. No, good captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain. Dall. Captain! thou abominable damned cheater, art thou not ashamed to be called-captain? If cap Pist. Die men, like dogs; give crowns like pins; Have we not Hiren here? Host. O' my word, captain; there's none such here. What the good-year! do you think, I would deny her? for God's sake, be quiet. Pist. Then, feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis: Come, give's some sack. Si fortuna me tormenta, sperato me contenta. Fear we broadsides? no, let the fiend give fire: Give me some sack; and, sweetheart, lie thou [Laying down his sword. there. Come we to full points here; and are et cetera's nothing? Fal. Pistol, I would be quiet. Pist. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neif: What! we have seen the seven stars. Doll. Thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure such a fustiar, rascal. Pist. Thrust him down stairs! know we not Gal. loway nags? Fal. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shovegroat shilling: nay, if he do nothing but speak nothing, he shall be nothing here. Bard. Come, get you down stairs. imbrue? Pist. What shall we have incision? shall we [Snatching up his sword. Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days! Why then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds Doll. I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw. [Drawing, and driving PISTOL out. Host. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your naked weapons. [Exeunt PISTOL and BARDOLPH. Doll. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal is gone. Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you. Host. Are you not hurt i'the groin? methought, he made a shrewd thrust at your belly. Re-enter BARDOLPH. Fal. Have you turned him out of doors? Bard. Yes, sir. The rascal's drunk: you have hurt him, sir, in the shoulder. Fal. A rascal! to brave me! Doll. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face; come on, you whoreson chops: -Ah, rogue! i'faith, I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the nine worthies. Ah, villain! Fal. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket. Doll. Do, if thou darest for thy heart: if thou dost, I'll canvas thee between a pair of sheets. Enter Musick. Page. The musick is come, sir. Fal. Let them play; - Play, sirs. - Sit on my Fal. Kiss me, Doll. P. Hen. Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! what says the almanack to that? Poins. And, look, whether the fiery Trigon, his man, be not lisping to his master's old tables; his note-book, his counsel-keeper. Fal. Thou dost give me flattering busses. Doll. Nay, truly; I kiss thee with a most constant heart. Fal. I am old, I am old. Doll. I love thee better than I love e'èr a scurvy young boy of them all. Fal. What stuff wilt have a kirtle of?I shall receive money on Thursday; thou shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry song, come: it grows late, we'll to bed. Thou'lt forget me, when I am gone. Doll. By my troth thou'lt set me a weeping, an thou sayest so: prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return -Well, hearken the end. Fal. Some sack, Francis. P. Hen. Poins. Anon, anon, sir. [Advancing Fal. Ha! a bastard son of the king's?— And art not thou Poins his brother? P. Hen. Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead? Fal. A better than thou; I am a gentleman, thou art a drawer. P. Hen. Very true, sir: and I come to draw you out by the ears. Host. O, the lord preserve thy good grace! by knee, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue my troth, welcome to London. Now the Lord Aed from me like quicksilver. Doll. I'faith, and thou followedst him like a church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou leave fighting o'days, and foining o'nights, and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven? bless that sweet face of thine! O Jesu, are you come from Wales? Fal. Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, -by this light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome. [Leaning his hand upon DOLL Doll. How! you fat fool, I scorn you. Poins. My lord, he will drive you out of your Enter behind, PRINCE HENRY and POINS, disguised revenge, and turn all to a merriment, if you take like Drawers. Fal. Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death's head: do not bid me remember mine end. : Doll. Sirrah, what humour is the prince of? Fal. A good shallow young fellow he would have made a good pantler, he would have chipped bread well. Doll. They say, Poins has a good wit. Fal. He a good wit? hang him, baboon! his wit is as thick as Tewksbury mustard; there is no more conceit in him, than is in a mallet. Doll. Why does the prince love him so then? Fal. Because their legs are both of a bigness: and he plays at quoits well; and eats conger and fennel; and drinks off candles' ends for flap-dragons; and rides the wild mare with the boys; and jumps upon joint-stools; and swears with a good grace; and wears his boot very smooth, like unto the sign of the leg; and breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories, and such other gambol faculties he hath, that show a weak mind and an able body, for the which the prince admits him: for the prince himself is such another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois. P. Hen. Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off? Poins. Let's beat him before his whore. P. Hen. Look, if the withered elder hath not his poll clawed like a parrot. Poins. Is it not strange, that desire should so many years outlive performance? not the heat. P. Hen. You whoreson candle-mine, you, how vilely did you speak of me even now, before this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman? Host. 'Blessing o' your good heart! and so she is, by my troth. Fal. Didst thou hear me? P. Hen. Yes; and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by Gads-hill: you knew, I was at your back; and spoke it on purpose, to try my patience. Fal. No, no, no, not so; I did not think, thou wast within hearing. P. Hen. I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuse; and then I know how to handle you Fal. No abuse, Hal, on mine honour; no abuse. P. Hen. Not! to dispraise me; and call mepantler, and bread-chipper, and I know not what Fal. No abuse, Hal. Poins. No abuse ! Fal. No abuse, Ned, in the world; honest Ned none. I dispraised him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love with him:-in which doing, I have done the part of a careful friend, and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thank for it. No abuse, Hal; - none, Ned, none;-no boys, none. P. Hen. See now, whether pure fear, and entire cowardice, doth not make thee wrong this virtuou gentlewoman to close with us? Is she of the wicked Is thine hostess here of the wicked? or is the boy of Fal. For one of them, she is in hell already, and burns, poor soul! For the other, I owe her money; and whether she be damned for that, I know not. Host. No, I warrant you. Fal. No, I think thou art not; I think, thou art quit for that: Marry, there is another indictment upon thee, for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law; for the which, I think, thou wilt howl. Host. All victuallers do so: What's a joint of mutton or two in a whole Lent? P. Hen. You, gentlewoman, P. Hen. By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame, So idly to profane the precious time; When tempest of commotion, like the south Borne with black vapour, doth begin to melt, And drop upon our bare unarmed heads. Give me my sword, and cloak:-Falstaff, good night. [Exeunt PRINCE HENRY, POINS, PETO, and BARDOLph. Fal. Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we must hence, and leave it unpicked. [Knocking heard.] More knocking at the door? Re-enter BARDOLPH. How now? what's the matter? Bard. You must away to court, sir, presently; dozen captains stay at door for you. Fal. Pay the musicians, sirrah. [To the Page.]Farewell, hostess; - farewell, Doll.-You see, my good wenches, how men of merit are sought after: the undeserver may sleep, when the man of action is called on. Farewell, good wenches: If I be not sent away post, I will see you again ere I go. Doll. I cannot speak ;- If my heart be not ready Fal. His grace says that which his flesh rebels to burst: -well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself. Fal. Farewell, farewell. ACT III. SCENE I.-A Room in the Palace. Enter KING HENRY in his nightgown, with a Page. K. Hen. Go, call the earls of Surrey and of Warwick; But, ere they come, bid them o'er-read these letters, And well consider of them: Make good speed.- How many thousand of my poorest subjects And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber; And lull'd with sounds of sweetest melody? la loathsome beds; and leav'st the kingly couch, Seal up the ship-boy's eyes, and rock his brains Curling their monstrous heads, and hanging them Enter WARWICK and SURREY. War. Many good morrows to your majesty! War. 'Tis one o'clock, and past. K. Hen. Why then, good morrow to you all, my And see the revolution of the times Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chances mock, Since Richard, and Northumberland, great friends, [To WARWICK, SCENE II.-Court before Justice Shallow's Enter SHALLOW and SILENCE, meeting; MOULDY, Shal. Come on, come on, come on; give me your hand, sir, give me your hand, sir: an early stirrer, by the rood. And how doth my good cousin Silence? Sil. Good morrow, good cousin Shallow. Shal. And how doth my cousin, your bedfellow? and your fairest daughter, and mine, my god. daughter Ellen? Sil. Alas, a black ouzel, cousin Shallow. Shal. By yea and nay, sir, I dare say, my cousin William is become a good scholar: He is at Oxford, still, is he not? Sil. Indeed, sir; to my cost. Shal. He must then to the inns of court shortly: I was once of Clement's-inn; where, I think, they will talk of mad Shallow yet. Sil. You were called-lusty Shallow, then, cousin. Shal. By the mass, I was called any thing; and I would have done any thing, indeed, and roundly too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire, and black George Bare, and Francis Pickbone, Though then, heaven knows, I had no such in- and Will Squele a Cotswold man, you had not four tent; But that necessity so bow'd the state, That I and greatness were compell'd to kiss : War. There is a history in all men's lives, King Richard might create a perfect guess, K. Hen. Are these things then necessities? War. such swinge-bucklers in all the inns of court again: and, I may say to you, we knew where the bonarobas were; and had the best of them all at commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now sir John, a boy; and page to Thomas Mowbray, duke of Norfolk. Sil. This sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers? I saw Shal. The same sir John, the very same. I him break Skogan's head at the court gate, when be was a crack, not thus high: and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray's inn. O, the mad days that I have spent! and to see how many of mine old acquaintance are dead! Sil. We shall all follow, cousin. Shal. Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure: death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford fair? Sil. Truly, cousin, I was not there. Shal. Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living yet? Sil. Dead, sir. Shal. Dead!-See, see! - he drew a good bow: And dead!—he shot a fine shoot: - John of Gaut loved him well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! -he would have clapped i' the clout at twelve score; and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a half, that it would have done a man's heart good to see. How a score of ewe now? Sil. Thereafter as they be: may be worth ten pounds. a score of good ewes Shal. And is old Double dead! Enter BARDOLPH, and one with him. Sil. Here come two of sir John Falstaff's men, as I think. Bard. Good morrow, honest gentlemen: I be seech you, which is justice Shallow? Shal. I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor esquir |