not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing their massy irons, and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather, the bone-ache! for that, methinks, is the curse dependant on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers; and devil, envy, say Amen. What, ho! my lord Achilles! Enter PATROCLUS. Patr. Who's there? Thersites? Good Thersites, come in and rail. Ther. If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldst not have slipped out of my contemplation: but it is no matter; Thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy direction till thy death! then if she, that lays thee out, says Thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't, she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen. -Where's Achilles? Patr. What, art thou devout? wast thou in prayer? Ther. Ay; The heavens hear me! Enter ACHILLES. Achil. Who's there? Patr. Thersites, my lord. Achil. Where, where?-Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my table so many meals? Come; what's Aga memnon? Ther. Thy commander, Achilles;-Then tell me, Patroclus, what's Achilles? 1 Patr. Thy lord, Thersites; Then tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself? Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus; Then tell me, Patroclus, what art thou? Patr. Thou mayest tell, that knowest. Achil. O, tell, tell. Ther. I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is a fool. Patr. You rascal! Ther. Peace, fool; I have not done. Achil. He is a privileged man.-Proceed, Thersites. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool. Achil. Derive this; come. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool; and Patroclus is a fool positive. Patr. Why am I a fool? Ther. Make that demand of the prover.-It suffices thou art. Look you, who comes here? me, Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES, and AJAX. Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody;-Come in with me, Thersites. [Exit. Ther. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery! all the argument is, a cuckold, and a whore; A good quarrel, to draw emulous factions, and bleed to death upon. Now the dry serpigo on the subject! and war, and lechery, confound all! [Exit. Agam. Where is Achilles? Patr. Within his tent; but ill-dispos'd, my lord. Let him be told so; lest, perchance, he think Patr. Ajax. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my head, 'tis pride: But why, why? let him show us a cause.-A word, my lord. [Takes Agamemnon aside. Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ulyss. Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. Ulyss. He. Nest. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument. Ulyss. No; you see, he is his argument, that has his argument; Achilles. Nest. All the better; their fraction is more our wish, than their faction: But it was a strong composure, a fool could disunite. Ulyss. The amity, that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie. Here comes Patroclus. Re-enter PATROCLUS. Nest. No Achilles with him. Ulyss. The elephant hath joints, but none for cour- Agam. Much attribute he hath; and much the reason And under-honest; in self-assumption greater, Than in the note of judgment; and worthier than himself Here tend the savage strangeness he puts on; And underwrite in an observing kind Bring action hither, this cannot go to war: Before a sleeping giant:-Tell him so. Patr. I shall; and bring his answer presently. [Exit. We come to speak with him.-Ulysses, enter. [Exit Ulysses. Ajur. What is he more than another? Ajax. Is he so much? Do you not think, he thinks himself a better man than I am? Agam. No question. Ajax. Will you subscribe his thought, and say he is? Agam. No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable. Ajax. Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is. Agam. Your mind's the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the fairer. He that is proud, eats up himself: pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed in the praise. Ajax. I do hate a proud man, as I hate the engendering of toads. Nest. And yet he loves himself: Is it not strange? Re-enter ULYSSES: [Aside. Ulyss. Achilles will not to the field to-morrow. Ulyss. He doth rely on ǹone; But carries on the stream of his dispose, Agam. Why will he not, upon our fair request, Ulyss. Things small as nothing, for request's sake only, He makes important: Possess'd he is with greatness; And batters down himself: What should I say? Agam. Ulyss. O'Agamemnon, let it not be so! By going to Achilles: That were to enlard his fat-already pride; With entertaining great Hyperion. This lord go to him! Jupiter forbid; And say in thunder-Achilles, go to him. Nest. O, this is well; he rubs the vein of him. [Aside |