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respect a suspicion of sinister views was created-he was treated as he had acted-coarsely, and generally did not attain his object.

It is best always to deal with persons of the humbler classes upon the clear footing of each understanding their respective position, to avow at once your desire, and bring it to a point in distinct terms.

Candidates for popular favours should particularly observe such a line of conduct. The John Bull spirit dislikes all trickery in manners— it favours a hearty, plain-spoken address, that shows the applicant one of the same sort; whilst an acknowledgment of the superiority of station, talent, and education, which give additional force and lustre to the expression of honest and independent principles, is fully awarded.

FOURTHLY-AS RESPECTS SUITORS TO THE Ladies.

Here is a difficult task for me! The ladies! young ladies and old ! What can I say on this subject, whose experience has been more limited than that of many others? What can I do then but speak of them as I have found them, and as generally as possible?

I do then declare, that I consider the ladies as forming one class, provided they have been well educated, and I do not intend to refer to any other than such. I maintain that the characteristics of the class are innocence, enduring virtue, and devotedness.

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The ladies, however, are subject, occasionally, to strong prejudices, from drawing such knowledge of the world as they possess more from books and conversation than from personal acquaintance with its habits and its scenes. Unused to exercise the sterner qualities of the mind, women frequently form wrong judgments; but they generally advocate the lenient side of the question, and form a conclusion rather by the heart than the head. They thus tend to soften down the rigidity of the masculine mind, and intercept the harshness of its opinions and decisions. They are the silken bonds of society, which keep men in a great degree in peace and harmony with each other. They give such a charm to the domicile, that even the erratic and change-loving sons of folly often sigh for the delights of home.

When any thing is sought at the hands of these kindly-disposed creatures, a generous man will avoid an undue trespass on their good nature or inexperience. He will speak to them with candour, and not permit a single interest of theirs to be sacrificed to promote his wishes. He will, of course, to attain a legitimate object, be at liberty to endeavour to avert refusal, where temper or prejudice are liable to stand in his way; and, consequently, he will select the fittest time and circumstances to prefer his requests-he will be all politeness, and take care to allow the lady her full share of the conversation; yielding where it is "folly to be wise," and strongly advocating her sentiments when they can possibly accord with his own.

Should the object be, not to obtain some gift or personal advantage, but to win a heart and a wife-let not the ardour of affection cause you to forget that you are seeking the favour of a being of this world. The poetical folly of lovers has led many a man to sacrifice not only his own

peace but that of the lady he adored; and not unfrequently has produced ridicule instead of love. Proceed rationally and sincerely. Prove yourself a man of sense and virtue, without mercenary motives. Seek your fair one at times when there is nothing likely to be unpropitious. Do not converse with her as if she were a baby, but treat her as one possessing qualities, equal, if not superior, to your own. Endeavour to make her, and every one around her, happy. No woful looks-no silly sighs-no doleful speeches. Women generally laugh at all this, and properly too. If you are bantered with, banter on your part. Give smile for smile; measure thoughts and tastes, and let them run parallel : -yet turn your lady's sombre ones delicately into a happier channel. It is your business to let in the sunshine-to cull the brightest flowers and sweetest odours of life-to make happy the one from whom you expect happiness. If you act thus, bearing about you no foppery, no gross disqualifications, and wooing a lady whose heart is free, and is really worth having, it is highly probable that you will succeed.

It may be asked of me, "Pray, Mr. Oldrum, can you give us any proof, from your own personal success in the way of favours requested by you, of the efficacy of your system?" I reply, decidedly, I can. I have solicited for a place, and have got it. I have wooed a lady, and have her for my wife. With respect to the place: I had apparently no chance of obtaining it, for I had no parliamentary interest. But I selected my time of application judiciously. I knew my desired patron was a man of business-had little leisure, being engaged almost incessantly in important state affairs. I learnt his habits. I was aware that his general disposition was kind, but then I had no claim on him for good offices. However, I called upon him one fine morning, just after he had taken his chocolate. He was in his private apartment, in his dressing-gown, and seated in his arm-chair. He was lively, and at his ease; my interview ran smooth. He wished to do me a kindness, he said, if possible; he would see what could be done. Six months elapsed without my venturing to seek another interview, which might not altogether have combined so many favouring circumstances. At length, I have no doubt that the pleasant sensations which he felt when I had seen him, and which arose from delightful weather, and recent refreshment of the system, became connected in his memory with my visit and request: the result undoubtedly turned out to be, that I was agreeably recollected, and he obtained my wished-for object.

With respect to my other point of success: I saw my fair one, and became enamoured with her person and her virtues. But knowing that ladies will sometimes be fastidious, and must have their little peculiarities attended to; and not being a vain fop, who thought so highly of himself as to set at nought every thing but the supposed power of his figure and address; nor thinking contemptibly, as such fools generally do, of the female character, I studied to please by unobtrusive means. I did not constantly dangle after the young lady; I sought her society at times when it was likely the greatest number of favouring circumstances would occur. I watched the weather; her freedom from any engagements that my presence might not have suited. I never allowed a disagreeable general subject to escape from me in conversation. I spread the blooming flowers of life before her; picturing out scenes of happiness; elevating her mind to something beyond the dull routine of

common existence. I never forgot I was addressing a woman of virtue, nor ever allowed her to imagine that I did not think highly of her abilities and acquirements. Yet I never uttered gross and vulgar flattery, She judged of my regard for her, by my respect for all that is valuable in the character of woman. I proposed a walk or ride only when the state of the air was grateful. I never allowed it to be prolonged until she was fatigued; and took care to suit the direction to her immediate taste or wish. I sought out pleasing objects for her occupation, and fresh sources of elegant amusement. Thus, lasting, favourable impressions, derivable from temporary scenes and circumstances of an agreeable nature, combined, I may flatter myself, with some recommendations of a more personal description, were the result, and I became the happy fellow I wished to be. The system of my courtship, however, was not abandoned after marriage. I have ever made it a principle to please the woman of my choice in every rational way; and my old lady and I might still be deemed a pair of lovers.

And now I think I may close these few suggestions with wishing success to all who have fair objects to attain; and with converting myself into a suitor. I would, then, beg the favour of my readers not to call OLIVER OLDRUM an "old fool."

SCENES IN THE LIFE OF AN ADVENTURER.-No. III.*

I Do not know whether it was that this return to womanhood—which was, after all, a most unnatural condition to me-demanded a still greater exertion of manly courage to make me pardon myself, for having thus, in the face of the army acknowledged my petticoats; but certain it is, that at the battle of Fleurus, which very soon followed this adventure, I fought like a fiend, and did such actions as drew upon me the attention of the whole division. I had, as I believe I have observed to you, the painful conviction that this affair would be our last, and therefore I determined to win glory, and wear it, dead, at least, if not living. With this object, during the heat of the battle, I put aside my trumpet, took to my sabre, and attacked most vigorously a young Prussian cornet, who was so much of my own match, that it seemed as if he had been born on purpose to fight with me. He was really a gallant lad; closely cuddling his colours, and yet hacking away all round him most manfully. I took a fancy to this standard, and I thought I should see my Emperor smile once more, if I could present it to him; so to it I went, and the cornet and I hit away, right and left, like a couple of devils. As we were, as near as possible, of the same size, age, strength, and activity, all was tolerably fair play between us, till he drew out a pistol and fired it, aiming at my head. As my horse was curvetting at a most unreasonable rate at this moment, kicking up his heels as high as he could in the air, it followed that my head was lower

* Continued from No. ccxvii., page 56.

than his rump, which had therefore the full benefit of the Prussian officer's charge. Of course, this little touch up to his hinder quarters, did not make him caper the less; on the contrary, kicking up behind most furiously, he shot me fairly out of my own saddle on to the cornet's, or rather on the cornet's own person, to which I clung with a most cat-like tenacity and perseverance, and began to tear away the Prussian's colours. The cornet's horse, not understanding the double duty of two masters, and by no means relishing a battle on his back, threw us both off, and stood quietly by us, looking on, with an air which said as plain as if he had spoken, "Fight it out, gentlemen, I can wait." And so he did, for ten minutes after, I was remounted on him, with the Prussian colours twisted tight round my body, galloping off in the direction of the baggage with my prize, when an officer of the Prussian cavalry recognising his Eagle, which unlike ours was black, made a dash at me, and finding he could not easily untwist the standard from my person, endeavoured to free it with his sabre. This arrangement being by no means to my taste, I parried his blows; but receiving a most ugly cut on the head, and perceiving very soon, that I had met my master, and that a second favour of the same colour would not only release my colours, but my life into the bargain, I did not think it necessary to wait for it; so, setting spurs to my conquered horse, I galloped off to the rear as fast as I could, first giving my antagonist the charge of one of my pistols, as close to his ear as possible, in order to prevent his taking the trouble to follow me. I suppose the whisper required some attention; for, though he did not fall from his horse in my presence, I saw him turn bridle, and scour off the field in the direction of the Prussian line, as fast as he possibly could.

My severe wound, my gallant conduct, and my conquered colours, were the praise of every body after the battle; and my colonel having told the Emperor my earnest desire to offer them to him, he came himself to the hospital to see me, and accepted them with a goodness that made me proud of suffering for him. "Have I not seen thee before, my gallant lad?" said he. "I am sorry to find thee disabled just now, when hearts and hands like thine are so scarce, and so wanting-ah! if all had done like thee !" He stopped short, and I think-his eyes were otherwise so unnaturally bright-that I saw a tear in them. I am not sure of this, for it certainly did not fall; but that is no reason, for even tears dared not disobey him, nor fall, contrary to his good pleasure. It was the last time I ever saw him, and my heart swelled as he turned from my bed, for I felt his pain more than my own. If I could have sat my horse, nothing should have kept me from Waterloo, the "tomb of his glory," as some of these French fools call it! The tomb! as if glory could ever be entombed! Why it's like shutting out light, that peeps through the smallest crevice, banish it how you will!

I shall never forget what I suffered on that day, nor how sincerely I cursed my, wound, that would not allow me the satisfaction to kill an Englishman or two, and send a complimentary bullet after their general. I liked him better when I heard that he was sorry to see us so cruelly cut down, and tried to save the guard from their fate. That was noble, and like a true soldier: for really brave men always love each

other after the battle, however they may hate while fighting it. If Napoleon and he could have met afterwards, and had been left alone to settle affairs, I am sure they would have been much better settled but when all was left to the politicians by trade, of course all went wrong; for what should such fellows know of settling kingdoms? - animals that never drew a sabre in their lives, nor smelt the crack of a carbine.

I wandered about, unhappy enough, for some time scarcely knowing what to do with my newly-acquired liberty, for as there was no longer any war, I easily obtained my discharge. I detest a soldier's life in time of peace, as much as I love it in time of war; one is always happy in active service, but a lazy, lounging, smoking garrison existence I cannot endure. A soldier must drink all day long by way of having something to do, and quarrel for ever with his comrades in order to keep his hand in. So I retired, and with the sums which I had gained in the service, the plunder I had won from our enemies, the money which I had made by the various trades I exercised, and the English colonel's hundred pounds, I lived very handsomely, and travelled about over all France, enjoying myself quite at my ease, till about four years ago; when an unfortunate idea came into my head, that I would visit home and see how things were going on there. This whim clung to me so closely, that I was obliged to satisfy it; and accordingly set out on my journey to visit my native village, which I had not seen for nearly ten years.

Some changes had occurred in it, of course, during the period of my long absence-the greatest and most important to me was the death of my father, who, however, had left me his little property and his forgiveness; the latter, to inherit from the moment of his deaththe former, not till the death of my mother. I was in no hurry to possess my fortune,-I was rich enough, and sincerely glad to find the poor old woman still alive, and comfortably provided for; she was heartily rejoiced to see me. And now I could have been happy enough, if I had been allowed to be so after my own manner: that is, to live single, independent, taking care of the farm, and of my mother, and entirely master of my time and actions. But this was not permitted me; my dear friends and relations, who took an interest in my happiness, and who knew better than I did what was fitting for me, determined it should be otherwise. They began their operations, by putting it into my mother's head that I ought to marry, and give grandchildren to her old age, and a son-in-law who could improve the property; that it was neither honest nor respectable in me to live quite differently from every body else; and that, in short, by the mode of conduct which I had adopted, I stood a great chance of being totally abandoned in this world, and perhaps in the next. From this hour my persecutions began; between my mother's prayers and tears, and the entreaties, reasonings, and menaces of all my dear relations, male and female, especially those who had disposable sons and brothers, I had not one moment's peace. At first I laughed, then I reasoned, then I got angry; all to no purpose. No sooner had I argued one jackass into silence, than another began to bray; had there been only one or two of them, I should have known how to settle it, but I could not horsewhip them all, with my mother at their head. I tried to make the men hate me;

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