Christians are exposed, that he could instantly recog nise their symptoms, and apply the needed antidote.

In all his revolutions of feeling, varied exercises, and changing frames, there is discoverable an unvarying simplicity of purpose. The destruction of sin, and the extension of the empire of holiness in himsel! and others, are the objects constantly before him. His eye was single, and directed to the glory of God; and he longed for the salvation of men, as the work in which the divine glory eminently appears. He complains frequently of his pride, vanity, and selfishness -qualities, doubtless, eminently congenial with his unrenewed nature, but which were now evidently most unwelcome intruders, and which it was his constant grief that he could not wholly dislodge. Let those who would convert his full confessions into a proof "that he was sinful above all men," be reminded, that, if they were to watch the motions of their own hearts with the same unrelenting severity, they might find even greater abominations than any of which he complains, holding hitherto undisturbed empire over their souls; and not, as in him, annoying, yet conquered passions, which the gracious principle would in the end wholly eradicate.

On the 18th of August he took "a very affectionate leave of the family by whom he had been so kindly entertained," and revisited home, where he spent three days; and then "set out in a violent rain for North Andover," Mass. where he had an engagement to preach, and "felt some consolation in reflecting that he was going on his Father's and Savior's business." The second day he arrived, "wet, wearied, and dejected." Of his performances on the follow

ing Sabbath he says-"I had little assistance in preaching, and pleased neither the people nor myself." He immediately proceeded to the scene of his future labors-a field vastly more extensive, and one which he was eminently fitted to occupy.

CHAPTER VII.

Visits Portland-his favorable reception, and Ordination.

On the morning of Monday, August 24th, Mr. Payson proceeded to Portland; his mind absorbed with heavenly meditations on the road, and praying and renewing his covenant with God at his resting-places. Stop where he might, he was sure to find or to make the place a Bethel; and while the solemnity of his devotions resembled that of the patriarch's on his way to Padan-aram, his faith realized what that patriarch saw in vision, and found an open way of communication between earth and heaven. Thus he journeyed,

"Prayer all his business, all his pleasure praise."

He arrived on the morning of the third day, entered upon the appropriate duties of his calling with the most exemplary diligence and energy, and the effects were almost immediately visible. Such was the attention excited by his preaching, that he seems to have regarded himself as in great danger of thinking more highly of himself than he ought to think, and to hav 11*

M. P.

brought all his spiritual forces to bear against this propensity. With reference to this, he observed frequent seasons of humiliation, and oftener renewed the consecration of himself and his talents to God. It was the burden of his secret prayers, that he might be delivered from pride, from self-seeking, from preaching himself, instead of Christ Jesus the Lord.

66 Sept. 6. Heard my performances much commended; and, fearing lest I should feel puffed up, I withdrew, and prayed earnestly that I might be preserved from it. And God was pleased to assist me in a most wonderful and unusual manner in pleading, not only for that and other mercies, but in renewing covenant with him, and praising him for all his mercies. Never felt more gratitude, more humility, more love to God and benevolence to man, than at this time. Indulged some hopes that God would pour out his Spirit, but hardly expected it. Saw that all the mercies I received were bestowed for the sake of my Lord Jesus alone; and that in myself I was far more deserving of hell than of all that happiness. Could not praise God as I wished, but my soul panted, and almost fainted with ardor of desire to glorify him, and be wholly devoted to his service.

66 Sept. 14. Read Baxter on Pride. Was almost overwhelmed to see how much I have in my heart. Could hardly refrain from despairing of ever being humble." In a letter to his father, written a few days after this, he complains of himself in the following strain:

66 I almost despair of making any improvement in this world. God keeps loading me with one blessing on another, but I cannot grow any more grateful. I cannot feel less proud, less selfish, less worldly-mind

ed. O, if God by his Spirit did not prevent me, and still in a manner force me to keep striving almost against my will, I should give up in despair. It makes no difference-let me labor ever so much, and feel ever so lively while alone, the moment I go into the pulpit I am as dead and stupid as a post, and have no realizing sense of divine things. The meeting-house is the grave of every thing good, and the place where corruption always gets the mastery. Sometimes it seems impossible that it should be so. I set out from home so strong, so raised above the world, with so much zeal for God, and so much compassion for poor, perishing sinners, that I cannot help hoping it is going to be better with me. But the moment I begin it is all gone! When I seem to be much engaged, and the people think I am all on fire, I fear that God sees my neart like a mere block of ice. If there are any who can look back with pleasure on a life well spent, I can hardly hope that I am a Christian, or that I ever shal be one; for never shall I be able to do that. Adieu, my dearest parents: do continue to pray for me, for I am walking on ice, or, as the prophet says, "in slippery places in darkness."

Mr. Payson's situation was at this time truly critical and dangerous. His reception as a preacher was flattering almost beyond example. Not one man in a thousand can bear human applause uninjured. “Wo unto you," said Christ to his disciples, "when all men shall speak well of you." The most dreadful part of this wo is that which falls upon one's spiritual interests. Mr. Payson had scarcely been six weeks in Portland before overtures were made to him, by three respective congregations, to become their teacher; and there was also

a plan agitated to build him a new meeting-house. Applications from neighboring churches, and likewise from abroad, were also frequent. The letters which he wrote to his parents, at this period, contain interesting allusions to his circumstances:

"MY DEAREST PARENTS,

"Portland, Sept. 12, 1807.

"When I came here I could not help indulging a secret hope that I should be so favored as to see some happy effects resulting from it. I know not, however, whether it arose so high as hope; it was, perhaps, rather a wish. Whether this wish will in any degree be gratified, is at present uncertain. The people seem to rouse themselves up, and stare, and hardly know what to make of it. They, however, appear to exhibit less enmity and ill will than I expected. Some of the principal men, who are not suspected of being very friendly to religion, say, as I am informed, that, to be sure, my sermons are rather hot, but they are convinced no other kind of preaching would ever do any good. Others say, it cuts up all their own foundation, and all their hopes of heaven; but they think it a duty to support these doctrines, because they are true. The congregation is very solemn and attentive; but I dare not yet hope for any lasting effects. Some are displeased, and have left the meeting; but there are three come from other meetings for one who goes away. The power of novelty, however, is great, and when that is over, I expect there will be less attention, and less crowded meetings."

"I understand there is quite a revival of religion at