But if all aim but this be levell'd false, Is Leon. Being that I flow in grief, The smallest twine may lead me. Friar. 'Tis well consented: presently away, For to strange sores strangely they strain the cure. Come, lady, die to live: this wedding day, Perhaps, is but prolong'd: have patience, and endure. [Exeunt Friar, HERO, and LEONATO. Bene. Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while? Beat. Yea, and I will weep a while longer. Bene. I will not desire that. Beat. You have no reason; I do it freely. Bene. Surely, I do believe your fair cousin is wronged. Beat. Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her! Bene. Is there any way to show such friendship? Beat. A very even way, but no such friend. Bene. May a man do it? Beat. It is a man's office, but not yours. Bene. I do love nothing in the world so well as you. Is not that strange? Beat. As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say, I loved nothing so well as you; but believe me not, and yet I lie not: I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing.-I am sorry for my cousin. Bene. By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me. Beat. Do not swear by it, and eat it. Bene. I will swear by it, that you love me; and I will make him eat it, that says I love not you. Beat. Will you not eat your word? Beat. Princes, and counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly count, count confect; a sweet gallant, surely! O, that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into courtesy, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too he is now as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie, and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving. Bene. Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee. Beat. Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it. Bene. Think you in your soul the count Claudio hath wronged Hero? Beat. Yea, as sure as I have a thought, or a soul. Bene. Enough! I am engaged, I will challenge him. I will kiss your hand, and so I leave you. By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin : I must say she is dead; and so, farewell. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-A Prison. Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Sexton, in gowns; and Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before master constable. Dogb. Yea, marry, let them come before me.-What Bene. With no sauce that can be devised to it. I is your name, friend? protest, I love thee. Beat. Why then, God forgive me! Bene. What offence, sweet Beatrice? Beat. You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest, I loved you. Bene. And do it with all thy heart. Beat. I love you with so much of my heart, that none is left to protest. Bene. Come, bid me do any thing for thee. Beat. Kill Claudio. Bene. Ha! not for the wide world. Beat. You kill me to deny it. Bene. Tarry, sweet Beatrice. Farewell. Beat. I am gone, though I am here:-there is no love in you.-Nay, I pray yoù, let me go. Bene. Beatrice, Beat. In faith, I will go. Bene. We'll be friends first. Beat. You dare easier be friends with me, with mine enemy. Bene. Is Claudio thine enemy? than fight Bora. Borachio. Dogb. Pray write down Borachio.——Yours, sirrah ? Con. I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade. Dogb. Write down master gentleman Conrade.Masters, do you serve God? Con. Bora. Yea, sir, we hope. Dogb. Write down-that they hope they serve God: -and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains!-Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves? Con. Marry, sir, we say we are none. Dogb. A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him.-Come you hither, sirrah : a word in your ear, sir: I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves. Bora. Sir, I say to you, we are none. Dogb. Well, stand aside.-'Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ down, that they are none? Sexton. Master constable, you go not the way to examine: you must call forth the watch that are their accusers. Beat. Is he not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman?O, that I were a man!-What! bear her in hand until Dogb. Yea, marry, that's the eftest way.-Let the they come to take hands, and then with public accusa- watch come forth.-Masters, I charge you, in the tion, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour,—O God, | prince's name, accuse these men. 1 Watch. This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince's brother, was a villain. Dogb. Write down-prince John a villain.-Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince's brother villain. Bora. Master constable, Dogb. Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look, I promise thee. Sexton. What heard you him say else? 2 Watch. Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John, for accusing the lady Hero wrongfully. Dogb. Flat burglary as ever was committed. 1 Watch. And that count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her. Dogb. O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this. Sexton. What else? 2 Watch. This is all. Sexton. And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away: Hero was in this manner accused, in this very manner refused, and, upon the grief of this, suddenly SCENE I.-Before LEONATO's House. Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO. Ant. If you go on thus, you will kill yourself; And 'tis not wisdom thus to second grief Against yourself. Leon. I pray thee, cease thy counsel, Which falls into mine ears as profitless As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel; Nor let no comforter delight mine ear, Dogb. God's my life! where's the sexton? let him write down the prince's officer, coxcomb.-Come, bind them.-Thou naughty varlet! Con. Away! you are an ass; you are an ass. Dogb. Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years?-O, that he were here to write me down an ass!-but, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.—No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which is more, an officer; and, which is more, a householder; and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina; and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had leases; and one that hath two gowns, and every thing handsome about him. Bring him away. O, that I had been writ down an ass! [Exeunt. ACT V. But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine: But there is no such man; for, brother, men Ant. Therein do men from children nothing differ. I fear thee not. Claud. Marry, beshrew my hand, Leon. Tush, tush, man! never fleer and jest at me: Ant. Content yourself. God knows, I lov'd my niece; And she is dead; slander'd to death by villains, That dare as well answer a man, indeed, As I dare take a serpent by the tongue. Boys, apes, braggarts, Jacks, milksops!Leon. Bene. It is in my scabbard: shall I draw it? D. Pedro. Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? Claud. Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit.-I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels; draw to pleasure us. D. Pedro. As I am an honest man, he looks pale.Art thou sick, or angry? Claud. What! courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care. Bene. Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge it against me.-I pray you, choose another subject. Claud. Nay then, give him another staff: this last was broke cross. D. Pedro. By this light, he changes more and more. I think he be angry indeed. Claud. If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle. Bene. You are a villain.—I jest not:-I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me hear from you. Claud. Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer. D. Pedro. What, a feast? a feast? Claud. I'faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a Brother Antony-calf's-head and capers, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say my knife's naught.-Shall I not find a woodcock too? Ant. Hold you content. What, man! I know them; yea, And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple: Leon. But, brother Antony- Come, 'tis no matter: Do not you meddle, let me deal in this. D. Pedro. Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience. My heart is sorry for your daughter's death; Leon. I will not hear you. No? Come, brother, away.-I will be heard.- D. Pedro. See, see! here comes the man we went to seek. Claud. Now, signior, what news? D. Pedro. Welcome, signior: you are almost come to part almost a fray. Claud. We had like to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth. D. Pedro. Leonato and his brother. What think'st thou? Had we fought, I doubt, we should have been too young for them. Bene. In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came to seek you both. Claud. We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high-proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit? Bene. Sir, your wit ambles well it goes easily. D. Pedro. I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day. I said, thou hadst a fine wit: "True," said she, 66 a fine little one:" "No," said I, "a great wit:" "Right," says she, "a great gross one: ”. Nay,” said I, "a good wit:" "Just," said she, "it hurts nobody:" "Nay," said I, "the gentleman is wise:" "Certain," said she, “a wise gentleman :" "Nay," said I, "he hath the tongues:" "That I believe," said she, "for he swore a thing to me on Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning: there's a double tongue; there's two tongues." Thus did she, an hour together, trans-shape thy particular virtues; yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the properest man in Italy. Claud. For the which she wept heartily, and said she cared not. D. Pedro. Yea, that she did; but yet, for all that, an if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly. The old man's daughter told us all. Claud. All, all; and moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden. D. Pedro. But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible Benedick's head? Claud. Yea, and text underneath, "Here dwells Benedick the married man!" Bene. Fare you well, boy: you know my mind. I will leave you now to your gossip-like humour: you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which, God be thanked, hurt not.-My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you: I must discontinue your company. Your brother, the bastard, is fled from Messina: you have, among you, killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my lord Lack-beard, there, he and I shall meet; and till then, peace be with him. [Exit BENEDICK. D. Pedro. He is in earnest. Claud. In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for the love of Beatrice. D. Pedro. And hath challenged thee? D. Pedro. What a pretty thing man is, when he goes in his doublet and hose, and leaves off his wit! Claud. He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a doctor to such a man. D. Pedro. But, soft you; let me be: pluck up, my heart, and be sad. Did he not say, my brother was fled? Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and the Watch, with Dogb. Come, you, sir: if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. D. Pedro. How now! two of my brother's men bound? Borachio, one? Claud. Hearken after their offence, my lord. D. Pedro. Officers, what offence have these men done? Dogb. Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. D. Pedro. First, I ask thee what they have done? thirdly, I ask thee, what's their offence? sixth and lastly, why they are committed? and, to conclude, what you lay to their charge? Claud. Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and, by my troth, there's one meaning well suited. D. Pedro. Whom have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood. What's your offence? Bora. Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer: do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have deceived even your very eyes: what your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light; who, in the night, overheard me confessing to this man, how Don John your brother, incensed me to slander the lady Hero; how you were brought into the orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments; how you disgraced her, when you should marry her. My villainy they have upon record, which I had rather seal with my death, than repeat over to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain. D. Pedro. Runs not this speech like iron through your blood? Claud. I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it. D. Pedro. But did my brother set thee on to this? Bora. Yea; and paid me richly for the practice of it. D. Pedro. He is compos'd and fram'd of treachery.And fled he is upon this villainy. Claud. Sweet Hero! now thine image doth appear In the rare semblance that I loved it first. Dogb. Come; bring away the plaintiffs: by this time our sexton hath reformed signior Leonato of the matter. And masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass. Verg. Here, here comes master signior Leonato, and the sexton too. Re-enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, and the Sexton. Leon. Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes, That when I note another man like him, I may avoid him. Which of these is he? me. Bora. If you would know your wronger, look on Leon. Art thou the slave, that with thy breath hast kill'd Mine innocent child? Bora. I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death: Claud. I know not how to pray your patience, D. Pedro. By my soul, nor I; Leon. I cannot bid you cause my daughter live; That were impossible; but, I pray you both, Possess the people in Messina, here, How innocent she died: and, if your love Can labour aught in sad invention, Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb, And sing it to her bones: sing it to-night.To-morrow morning come you to my house, And since you could not be my son-in-law, Be yet my nephew. My brother hath a daughter, Almost the copy of my child that's dead, And she alone is heir to both of us : Give her the right you should have given her cousin, And so dies my revenge. Claud. O noble sir! Your over-kindness doth wring tears from me. I do embrace your offer, and dispose For henceforth of poor Claudio. Leon. To-morrow, then, I will expect your coming: To-night I take my leave. This naughty man Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, Who, I believe, was pact in all this wrong, Hir'd to it by your brother. Bora. No, by my soul, she was not; Nor knew not what she did, when she spoke to me; But always hath been just and virtuous, In any thing that I do know by her. Dogb. Moreover, sir, which, indeed, is not under white and black, this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his punishment. And also, the watch heard them talk of one Deformed: they say, he wears a key in his ear, and a lock hanging by it, and borrows money in God's name; the which he hath used so long, and never paid, that now men grow hard-hearted, and will lend nothing for God's sake. Pray you, examine him upon that point. Leon. I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. Dogb. Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverend youth, and I praise God for you. Leon. There's for thy pains. Dogb. God save the foundation! Leon. Go: I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee. Dogb. I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which, I beseech your worship, to correct yourself for the example of others. God keep your worship; I wish your worship well: God restore you to health. I humbly give you leave to depart, and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it.—Come, neighbour. [Exeunt DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Watch. SCENE II-LEONATO's Garden. Marg. Will you, then, write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty? Bene. In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come over it; for, in most comely truth, thou deservest it. Marg. To have no man come over me? why shall I always keep below stairs? Bene. Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth; it catches. Marg. And your's as blunt as the fencer's foils, which hit, but hurt not. Bene. A most manly wit, Margaret; it will not hurt a woman and so, I pray thee, call Beatrice. I give thee the bucklers. Marg. Give us the swords, we have bucklers of our And knows me, and knows me, How pitiful I deserve, I mean, in singing; but in loving, Leander the good swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and a whole book full of these quondam carpet-mongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned over and over, as my poor self, in love. Marry, I cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried: I can find out no rhyme to "lady" but "baby," an innocent rhyme; for "scorn," "horn," a hard rhyme; for "school," "fool," a babbling rhyme-very ominous endings. No, I was not born under a rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms. Enter BEATRICE. Sweet Beatrice, would'st thou come when I called thee? coward. And, I pray thee now, tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me? Beat. For them all together; which maintained so politic a state of evil, that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me? Bene. Suffer love! a good epithet. I do suffer love, indeed, for I love thee against my will. Beat. In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that which my friend hates. Bene. Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. Beat. It appears not in this confession: there's not one wise man among twenty that will praise himself. Bene. An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the time of good neighbours. If a man do not erect, in this age, his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument, than the bell rings, and the widow weeps. Beat. And how long is that, think you? Bene. Question :-why an hour in clamour, and a quarter in rheum: therefore is it most expedient for the wise, (if Don Worm, his conscience, find no impediment to the contrary,) to be the trumpet of his own virtues, as I am to myself. So much for praising myself, who, I myself will bear witness, is praiseworthy. And now tell me, how doth your cousin? Beat. Very ill. Bene. And how do you? Bene. Serve God, love me, and mend. There will Urs. Madam, you must come to your uncle. Yonder's old coil at home: it is proved, my lady Hero hath been falsely accused, the prince and Claudio mightily abused; and Don John is the author of all, who is fled and gone. Will you come presently? Beat. Will you go hear this news, signior? Bene. I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes; and, moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle's. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The Inside of a Church. Claud. Is this the monument of Leonato? Claud. [Reads.] EPITAPH. Done to death by slanderous tongues Was the Hero that here lies: Gives her fame which never dies. Beat. "Then" is spoken; fare you well now-and Now, music, sound, and sing your solemn hymn. yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came for; which is, with knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio. Bene. Only foul words; and thereupon I will kiss thee. Beat. Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed. Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so forcible is thy wit. But, I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge, and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a SONG. Pardon, goddess of the night, Graves, yawn, and yield your dead, |