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In what place of the field doth Calchas keep?
Ulys. At Menelaus' tent, most princely Troilus :'
You shall command me, sir.
on, my lord ? She was beloved, she loved ; she is, and doth : But, still, sweet love is food for fortune's tooth.
The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent.
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.
Ach. I'll heat his blood with Greekish wine to.
night, Which with my scimitar I'll cool to-morrow.
Patroclus, let us feast him to the height.
Pat. Here comes Thersites.
Enter THERSITES. Ach.
How now, thou core of envy? Thou crusty batch of nature, what 's the news ?
Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for thee.
Ach. From whence, fragment?
Pat. Well said, Adversity !1 and what need these tricks ?
Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk : thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.
Pat. Male varlet, you rogue? what's that?
Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o' gravel i' the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i' the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries !
Pat. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meanest thou to curse thus ?
Ther. Do I curse thee?
Pat. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whoreson indistinguishable cur, no.
Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou idle immaterial skein of sleive 1 silk, thou green sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pestered with such water-flies ; diminutives of nature !
Pat. Out, gall!
Ach. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite
Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two may run mad; but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I 'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon,- an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails ; but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: and the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue, and oblique memorial of
· Coarse, unwrought.
cuckolds; 1 a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg ;-to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced 2 with wit, turn him to? To an ass were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew,3 a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care; but to be Menelaus, I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar,5 so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day! spirits and fires !
Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES,
NESTOR, MENELAUS, and Diomedes, with lights.
Aga. We go wrong, we go wrong.
No, yonder 'tis ;
I trouble you.
Here comes himself to guide you.
Ach. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes
ii. e. Menelaus. * A buzzard.
3 A polecat. 5 A diseased beggar.
Aga. So now, fair prince of Troy. I bid good
night. Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.
Hec. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks'
Men. Good night, my lord.
Ther. Sweet draught! Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet sink, sweet sewer. Ach. Good night, at once, and welcome, both to
those That go or tarry.
Aga. Good night. [Exeunt Aga. and Men.
Ach. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two.
Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now. Good night, great
Follow his torch; he goes To Calchas' tent: I 'll keep you coinpany.
[aside to Troilus. Troi. Sweet sir, you honor me. Hec.
And so good night. [Exit Diomed; Ulysses and Troilus following. Ach. Come, come, enter my tent.
[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, Ajax, and Nestor. Ther. That same Diomed 's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave: I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses : he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler