220 Great in her charms! as when on shrieves and may'rs 225 Here to her chosen all her works she shews; Prose swell'd to verse, verse loit'ring into prose; How random thoughts now meaning chance to find, Now leave all memory of sense behind: How prologues into prefaces decay, And these to notes are fritter'd quite away. How index-learning turns no student pale, 230 How, with less reading than makes felons 'scape, 235 Less human genius than God gives an ape, Small thanks to France, and none to Rome or Greece, A past, vamp'd, future, old, reviv'd, new piece, The goddess then, o'er his anointed head, Something betwixt a heideggre and owl, 240 Perch'd on his crown. All hail! and hail again, 245 My son! the promis'd land expects thy reign. Know, Settle cloy'd with custard, and with praise, Is gather'd to the dull of ancient days, Safe, where no critics damn, no duns molest, Where wretched Withers, Banks, and Gildon rest, 251 All arm'd with points, antitheses and puns! I see a monarch, proud my race to own! 255 A nursing-mother, born to rock the throne! She ceas'd: her owls responsive clap the wing, And Grubstreet garrets roar, God save the King. 260 So when Jove's block descended from on high, (As sings thy great forefather Ogilby,) Loud thunder to its bottom shook the bog, And the hoarse nation croak'd, God save King Log. END OF THE FIRST BOOK. ARGUMENT TO BOOK THE SECOND. THE King being proclaimed, the solemnity is graced with public games and sorts of various kinds; not instituted by the Hero, as by Æneas in Virgil, but for greater honour by the Goddess in person (in like manner as the games Pythia, Isthmia, &c. were anciently said to be by the Gods, and as Thetis herself appearing, according to Homer, Odyss. xxiv., proposed the prizes in honour of her son Achilles). Hither flock the Poets and Critics, attended, as is but just, with their Patrons and Booksellers. The Goddess is first pleased, for her disport, to propose games to the Booksellers, and setteth up the phantom of a Poet, which they contend to overtake. The Races described, with their divers accidents: next, the game for a Poetess. Then follow the exercises for the Poets, of tickling, vociferating, diving: The first holds forth the arts and practices of Dedicators, the second of Disputants, and fustian Poets, the third of profound, dark, and dirty Authors. Lastly, for the Critics, the Goddess proposes (with great propriety) an exercise, not of their parts, but their patience, in bearing the works of two voluminous Authors, one in verse and the other in prose, deliberately read, without sleeping: The various effects of which, with the several degrees and manners of their operation, are here set forth; till the whole number, not of Critics only, but of spectators, actors, and all present, fall fast asleep; which naturally and necessarily ends the games. BOOK II. HIGH on a gorgeous seat, that far outshone eyes On him, and crowds grow foolish as they gaze. Thron'd on sev'n hills, the antichrist of wit. To grace this honour'd day, the Queen proclaims By herald hawkers, high heroic games. She summons all her sons: An endless band IO 15 Pours forth, and leaves unpeopled half the land. All |