Tro. Why, there you touch'd the life of our design. Were it not glory that we more affected, Than the performance of our heaving spleens, A spur to valiant and magnanimous deeds; For, I presume, brave Hector would not lose Hect. [Exeunt. SCENE III.—The Grecian Camp. Before ACHILLES' Tent. Enter THERSITES. Ther. How now, Thersites ! what! lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? he beats me, and I rail at him: O worthy satisfaction! would, it were otherwise; that I could beat him, whilst he railed at me. 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then, there 's Achilles,-a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of themselves. [Kneels.] O, thou great thunder-darter of Olympus! forget that thou art Jove the king of gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy Caduceus, if ye take not that little, little, less-than-little wit from them that they have; which short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing their massy irons and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather the Nea1 Not in f. e. 2 Dyce reads: short-aim'd. politan' bone-ache: for that, methinks, is the curse dependant on those that war for a placket. [Rises."] I have said my prayers, and devil, envy, say Amen. What, ho! my lord Achilles ! Enter PATROCLUS. Patr. Who's there? Thersites? Good Thersites, come in and rail. Ther. If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldest not have slipped out of my contemplation; but it is no matter thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy direction till thy death! then, if she, that lays thee out, says thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen. Where's Achilles? Patr. What! art thou devout? wast thou in prayer? Ther. Ay; the heavens hear me ! Enter ACHILLES. Achil. Who's there? Patr. Thersites, my lord. Achil. Where, where ?-Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to my table so many meals? Come; what's Agamemnon? Ther. Thy commander, Achilles. Then, tell me, Patroclus, what's Achilles? Patr. Thy lord, Thersites. Then, tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself? Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus. Then tell me, Patroclus, what art thou? Patr. Thou must tell, that knowest. Achil. O tell, tell. Ther. I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is a fool. Patr. You rascal! Ther. Peace, fool! I have not done. Achil. He is a privileged man.-Proceed, Thersites. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool. Achil. Der ve this: come. 1 2 Not in f. e. Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool; and Patroclus is a fool positive. Patr. Why am I a fool? Ther. Make that demand of thy Creator.'-It suffices me, thou art. Look you, who comes here? Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES, and AJAX. Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody.-Come in with me, Thersites. 2 [Exit. Ther. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery! all the argument is a cuckold, and a whore; a good quarrel, to draw emulous factions, and bleed to death upon. Now, the dry serpigo3 on the subject, and war and lechery confound all! [Exit. Agam. Where is Achilles? 4 Patr. Within his tent; but ill-dispos'd, my lord. Patr. Ajax. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you may call it melancholy, if you will favour the man; but, by my head, 'tis pride: but why? why? let him show us a cause.-. -A word, my lord. [Taking AGAMEMNON aside. Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? Ulyss. Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. Nest. Who? Thersites ? Ulyss. He. Nest. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument. Ulyss. No; you see, he is his argument, that has his argument, Achilles. Nest. All the better; their fraction is more our 1 of the prorer: in quartos. 2 Patching up to deceive; roguery. 3 A kind of tetter. He sent in folio. Theobald reads: He shent. 5 of, so in folio. wish, than their faction: but it was a strong composure, a fool could disunite. Ulyss. The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie. Here comes Patroclus. Nest. No Achilles with him. Re-enter PATROCLUS. Ulyss. The elephant hath joints, but none for cour- Agam. Much attribute he hath, and much the reason We come to speak with him; and you shall not sin, And under-honest; in self-assumption greater, Than in the note of judgment; and worthier than Bring action hither, this cannot go to war. A stirring dwarf we do allowance give Before a sleeping giant :-tell him so. Patr. I shall; and bring his answer presently. [Exit. Agam. In second voice we 'll not be satisfied, 1 Lunacies. lines: in folio. We come to speak with him.-Ulysses, enter you. [Exit ULYSSES. Ajax. What is he more than another? Ajax. Is he so much? Do you not think, he thinks himself a better man than I am? Agam. No question. as Ajax. Will you subscribe his thought, and say he is? Agam. No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable. Ajax. Why should a man be proud? pride grow? I know not what pride is. How doth Agam. Your mind is the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the fairer. He that is proud, eats up himself: pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed in the praise. Ajax. I do hate a proud man, as I hate the engendering of toads. Nest. Yet he loves himself: is 't not strange? [Aside. Ulyss. Achilles will not to the field to-morrow. He doth rely on none; In will peculiar, and in self-admission. Agam. Why will he not, upon our fair request, Untent his person, and share the air with us? Ulyss. Things small as nothing, for request's sake only, He makes important. Possess'd he is with greatness; Agam. Let Ajax go to him. Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent : 1 'gainst itself: in folio. ? |