NAME NOT A ROPE IN HIS HOUSE THAT HANGED HIMSELF In talking with others do not refer to personal nor family matters that would be likely to recall disagreeable events, or in any way cause annoyance to the person with whom you are conversing. The proverb is intended to encourage prudence and courtesy in speech. "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles" (Prov., 21:23). Tiruvallurar, the greatest of the Tamil poets, wrote: "The burns will heal: but festering stays, thus emphasizing the importance of self-control in speech. The saying is probably derived from the ancient Hebrew proverb, "Should there be a case of hanging in one's family record, say not to him 'Hang up this fish.' "A fool is like a bottle broken in the bottom, for so is he broken in his heart, which is the bot tom of a man; and as a bottle so broken keepeth nothing in it, so a fool uttereth all his mind. He hath no stopple for it, no care what to utter, what not, what now, what at another time, what to this man, what to that, but all is one to him, so all be out. Otherwise is the carriage of a wise man. He keepeth his mind in, he locks and bars it up."-MICHAEL JERMIN, A.D. 1659, Comment on Prov., 29: II. "He that is wise will be extremely cautious in discourse in all mixed conversation, where he does not know either the good humor and virtues, or the weakness, infirmities and vices of his company; and there is very good reason for such a caution. No man of sense would desire to give an affront to strangers, or be thought to do it, and yet this is very difficult to prevent if we go suddenly into all the freedom of discourse without looking round the room and observing what may be acceptable and what not. . . . No man ought ever to make natural infirmities, or peculiar misfortunes, the matter of his discourse, or to be too free in making applications of a story among strangers-it may happen to touch too near. In general our conversation should always be employed on the virtues and good actions of men, or against vice, without reference to particular persons. . . . Thus I take it to be folly to rally and jest upon the deformities of a squint-eye, red hair, or a crooked back; to draw inferences, as some people are mighty fond of, that such a one's father hanged himself, another's broke and a third was so and so."-SAMUEL PALMER, a.d. 1710, Moral Essays. VARIANT PROVERBS Dinna speak o' a raip to a chiel whose faither was hanged. (Scotch). Do not show a man that is hanged a rope, nor a burnt man fire. (Syrian). Don't mention a rope in the house of him who has been hanged. (French, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Modern Greek). It is dangerous to mention ropes in the house of a man who was hanged. (Spanish). Mention not a halter in the house of him that was hanged. (English). Never speak of a rope in the house of a thief. (Portuguese). ALLIED PROVERBS A bad word is like the sound of a dome-The bad word is returned by reason of an echo. (Persian). A bridle for the tongue is a necessary piece of furniture. (English). A great spear wound is well to heal quickly; a severe tongue wound becomes a sore in the heart and healeth not. (Afghan). A slip of the foot may be soon recovered, but that of the tongue never. (English). A slip of the tongue is worse than that of the feet. (Tamil). A tongue thrust is worse than a serpent's sting. (Martinique Creole). A word once spoken, an army of chariots cannot overtake Better a slip of the foot than of the tongue. (French). Don't make beans come from the mouth-Do not tell everything that is in your mind. Don't mention the cross to the devil. (Osmanli). (Italian). He that knows not how to hold his tongue knows not how to talk. (English). He that restrains not his tongue shall live in trouble. (Ancient Brahmin). He who says what he likes hears what he does not like. (English, Spanish). His ear does not listen to what comes out of his mouthHe speaks without considering the import of his words. (Osmanli). If your foot slips you may recover your balance, but if your mouth slips you cannot recall your words. (Telugu). It is a gude tongue that says nae ill. (Scotch). It is more necessary to guard the mouth than the chest. (German). Keep guard over the tongue that is in your mouth. (Osmanli). May you never eat that leek which will rise up in your own throat-May you never be forced to eat your own words. (Afghan). Open your mouth for something good. (Osmanli). People should talk not to please themselves but those who hear them. (English). Put a key on your tongue. (Modern Greek). Should there be a case of hanging in one's family record, say not to him "Hang up this fish." (Hebrew). Speaking without thinking is shooting without taking aim. (English). Speak well of the dead. (English). Speak well of thy friends, be silent as to thy enemies. (German). Speak well of your friend, of your enemy neither well nor ill. (Italian). Sugar flows from his mouth-He speaks pleasantly of people. (Osmanli). Taste in the mouth, screaming in the throat—It was a pleasure for you to speak as you did but when you consider the results of your words you will regret having spoken as you did. (Osmanli). The tongue breaketh bone, though itself have none. (English, Modern Greek). The tongue has no bone yet it crushes. (Turkish). The tongue slays more than the sword. (Turkish). To slip on the pavement is better than to slip with the tongue. (Hebrew). Turn your tongue seven times before speaking. (English). Two ears to one tongue, therefore hear twice as much as Two words in speaking, two rounds in fastening. In splicing bamboos two rounds or more of rope or cane is required to fasten them together before We heal the wounds of a knife but not those of the tongue. (Turkish). You might hold the hand that strikes you but you cannot Your tongue runs before your wit. (English). |