foolish wars prove else? The Grecian princes carried their whole forces beyond sea-for what purpose? to recover a libidinous, runaway adultress! The dear-bought curse, and lawful plague of life; A night invasion, and a mid-day devil." Well; they destroyed the city of Troy, and all its innocent inhabitants, to punish the guilty Paris; (very just this indeed!) and having spent ten years in this notable exploit, they returned home cuckolds, as might have been naturally expected, and most of them were slain by the paramours of their wives: Bravo! They went out to revenge one cuckold, and all came back in their old confines, with forked heads." SHAKESPEAR. as will ever be the case with those fools who do not look at home. Alexander and Cæsar fought for ambition, which is the destruction of millions for the vanity of one person "How vain a creature were the plotting knave, But for easy fools!" TATE. Even the heathen Virgil exclaims-O cursed wars! (bella horrida) and we shall pass them over as such, to make way for what the Christians (soi-disant, but mal-faisant followers of the mild doctrines of Christ) term holy wars, (a devilish good joke!) but which were as bloody as the most infernal wars that ever the world witnessed. True religion Is always mild, propitious, and humble; MILLER. In real fact, these wars sprung only from the accursed policy of the Roman pontiffs, who wished to make a parade of the vassal princes whom she could send abroad from their states, on spiritual concerns, at her nod, whilst they condescendingly took all the trouble of managing their temporal affairs at home, and plundering their subjects— The oceans of blood shed in the subsequent religious wars and massacres had much the same origin-the knavery of few, and the folly of many. When fanaticism has phrenzied the brain, sectaries, like red hot iron, are to be wrought up to the temper of any cool-headed fellow, whether prince, priest, or coal-heaver; and, if they are not confined, by some superior temporal power, to their liberal method of cursing and d—g each other to the lowest pit of hell, they will fight for the love of God, like two blackguards for a belly full. A fanatic, therefore, let loose upon the world, is a destroyer of the human race; but tie up his hands, and none so great a propagator each female saint he does advise, With groans, and hums and ha's, and goggling eyes LEE. The priests, therefore, claim the supremacy of all other warriors; because what the world loses by them in one respect, they make up in another. There are to be met with in history, an infinity of other causes for spilling human blood; but they are deemed less honorable than the foregoing ones such as when two kings contend for a bit of barren land, which belongs to neither, and is worth nothing to neither of them; when a queen, a royal mistress, is jealous of the power of a minister, who is no war minister, and wishes to force him out; when a minister hates the queen, or royal mistress, and, being a war minister, wishes to keep himself in place in · spite of them ;-when a king wants money, and declares war to squander on his private debaucheries the supplies raised for the nation's defence; when a hypochondriac king anticipates the devil's claim, and requires some amusement.-Yes, reader, you may stare; but the serious game of warfare has really been played, like a game of chess, for the royal amusement.-In our English history, several of our monarchs have even had pawns on the board. Edward III. pawned his jewels to pay foreign forces; the Black Prince pawned his plate; Henry V. pawned his tables and stools of silver, which he had from Spain; Queen Elizabeth lost her jewels; nay, Henry V. pawned his imperial crown once! and Edward III. three times!!! To such petty three blue ball shifts have these mighty conquerors been driven, after having drained their miserable subjects to the dregs to make themselves glorious! And what becomes of all their glory at last? Why, it is generally laid at the feet of demireps. Omphale made Hercules spin; Achilles pre |