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Cres. Is he so young a man, and so old a lifter !1
Pan. But, to prove to you that Helen loves him; -she came, and puts me her white hand to his cloven
Cres. Juno have mercy !-How came it cloven ?
Pan. Why, you know, 'tis dimpled. I think his smiling becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.
Cres. O, he smiles valiantly.
Pan. Why, go to, then :-But to prove to you that Helen loves Troilus,
Cres. Troilus will stand to the proof, if you'll prove
Pan. Troilus? why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an addle egg.
Cres. If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head, you would eat chickens i’ the shell.
Pan. I cannot choose but laugh to think how she tickled his chin ;-indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I must needs confess.
Cres. Without the rack.
Pan. And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.
Cres. Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer.
Pan. But there was such laughing ;-queen Hecuba laughed, that her eyes ran o'er.
Cres. With mill-stones.
Cres. But there was a more temperate fire under the pot of her eyes ;-Did her eyes run o'er too?
Pan. And Hector laughed.
Pan. Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus' chin.
Cres. An't had been a green hair, I should have laughed too.
1 Lifter, a term for a thief ; from the Gothic hlistus. 2 So in King Richard III. :
“ Your eyes drop mill-stones, when fools' eyes drop tears."
Pan. They laughed not so much at the hair, as at his pretty answer.
Cres. What was his answer?
Pan. Quoth she, Here's but one-and-fifty hairs on your chin, and one of them is white.
Cres. This is her question.
Pan. That's true; make no question of that. Oneand-fifty hairs, quoth he, and one white. That white hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons. Jupiter! quoth she, which of these hairs is Paris, my husband ? The forked one, quoth he; pluck it out, and give it him. But, there was such laughing! and Helen so blushed, and Paris so chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed.
Cres. So let it now; for it has been a great while going by.
Pan. Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday; think on't.
Cres. So I do.
Pan. I'll be sworn, 'tis true; he will weep you, an 'twere a man born in April.
Cres. And I'll spring up in his tears, an 'twere a nettle against May.
[A retreat sounded. Pan. Hark, they are coming from the field. Shall we stand up here, and see them, as they pass toward Ilium? Good niece, do; sweet niece Cressida.
Cres. At your pleasure.
Pan. Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we may see most bravely. I'll tell you them all hy their names, as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest.
Æneas passes over the stage. Cres. Speak not so loud.
Pan. That's Æneas; is not that a brave man? He's one of the flowers of Troy, I can tell you. But mark Troilus; you shall see anon.
Cres. Who's that?
1 i. e. passed all expression.
ANTENOR passes over. Pan. That's Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you; and he's a man good enough; he's one o' the soundest judgments in Troy, whosoever, and a proper man of person.—When comes Troilus ?—I'll show you Troilus anon; if he see me, you shall see him nod at me.
Cres. Will he give you the nod ?
Hector passes over. Pan. That's Hector, that, that, look you, that! There's a fellow !—Go thy way, Hector ;—There's a brave man, niece. O brave Hector !-Look, how he looks! there's a countenance. Is't not a brave man?
Cres. 0, a brave man!
Pan. Is 'a not? It does a man's heart good ;Look you what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do you see ? look you there! There's no jesting; there's laying on; take't off who will, as they say; there be hacks !
Cres. Be those with swords?
Paris passes over. Pan. Swords? Any thing, he cares not; an the devil come to him, it's all one. By God's lid, it does one's heart good.-Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris : look ye yonder, niece; is't not a gallant man too, is't not ? —Why, this is brave now.—Who said, he came hurt home to-day ? he's not hurt; why, this will do Helen's heart good now. Ha! would I could see Troilus now!-you shall see Troilus anon.
Cres. Who's that?
1 To give the nod was a term in the game at cards called Noddy. The word also signifies a silly fellow. Cressid means to call Pandarus a noddy; and says he shall, by more nods, be made more significantly a fool.
HELENUS passes over. Pan. That's Helenus,–marvel where Troilus is. - That's Helenus; I think he went not forth today.--That's Helenus. Cres. Can Helenus fight, uncle?
Pan. Helenus ? no :-yes, he'll fight indifferent well.-I marvel where Troilus is !-Hark, do you not hear the people cry Troilus?—Helenus is a priest.
Cres. What sneaking fellow comes yonder?
TROILUS passes over. Pan. Where ? yonder ? that's Deiphobus. 'Tis Troilus! there's a man, niece !-Hem Brave Troilus! the prince of chivalry!
Cres. Peace, for shame, peace ! Pan. Mark him; note him:-0 brave Troilus ! - look well upon him, niece; look you, how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more hacked than Hector's; and how he looks, and how he goes!—0 admirable youth! he ne'er saw three-and-twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way; had l a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O 0 admirable man! Paris ?-Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to change, would give an eye to boot.
Forces pass over the stage. Cres. Here come more.
Pan. Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! porridge after meat! I could live and die i' the eyes of Troilus. Ne’er look, ne'er look ; the eagles are gone; crows and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as Troilus, than Agamemnon and all Greece.
Cres. There is among the Greeks, Achilles ; a better man than Troilus.
Pan. Achilles ? a drayman, a porter, a very camel. Cres. Well, well.
Pan. Well, well ?--Why, have you any discretion ? have you any eyes? Do you know what a man is ? Is not birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, and such like, the spice and salt that season a man?
Cres. Ay, a minced man; and then to be baked with no date in the pie,—for then the man's date is out.
Pan. You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward ?
lie. Cres. Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to defend all these : and at all these wards
, I lie, at a thousand watches.
Pan. Say one of your watches.
Cres. Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it is past watching.
Pan. You are such another!
Enter TROILUS' Boy. Boy. Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you. Pan. Where? Boy. At your own house; there he unarms him.
Pan. Good boy, tell him I come; [Exit Boy. I doubt he be hurt.—Fare ye well, good niece.
Cres. Adieu, uncle.
[Exit PANDARUS. Words, vows, griefs, tears, and love's full sacrifice, He offers in another's enterprise :
1 Dates were an ingredient in ancient pastry of almost every kind. 2 A metaphor from the art of defence.